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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to pay

28 replies

ariane5 · 23/01/2011 16:11

towards pre school snacks?

ds has severe allergies and i supply his soya milk, biscuits and raisins every day. the other children up untill now have received their milk, etc for free.

The pre school now want all parents to pay towards the fruit biscuits etc every week but the cows milk is still provided free. i said to them that surely if the other children get their milk free then why cant i carry on supplying ds snacks (costs me about five pound a week) and not pay them but they are saying i have to contribute for the fruit.

surely if the other children get free milk and ds cant have it why cant his fruit be free?

OP posts:
Violethill · 23/01/2011 16:16

Seems reasonable to contribute towards the fruit, as your ds eats that, but can't you negotiate a cheaper rate as he doesn't have the biscuits? That would seem fair

The milk issue is neither here nor there - if it's provided free, then obviously the other children will benefit from that but your ds can't. I don't think its reasonable to expect to be allowed free fruit simply because your ds doesn't have the milk

YouLittlePiggy · 23/01/2011 16:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TallulahDoesTheHula · 23/01/2011 16:20

How much are they asking you for per week?
It may be cheaper for you to just add fruit to the sncks you already supply instead of paying them for the entire snack portion just to get their fruit iyswim?

GlynistheMenace · 23/01/2011 16:22

How much is your 'contribution'?

I ask because I could argue the same 'principle' for my daughter, she gets free milk from the 'coolmilk' scheme, but hardly ever eats snacks at Nursery. She has allergies too.

We are asked to contribute a pound a week.....

ENormaSnob · 23/01/2011 16:24

If he is getting the fruit then contribute.

The milk isn't paid for by the school so is irrelevant IMO

Original poster
ariane5 · 23/01/2011 16:48

they want every parent to pay 40p thats for biscuits, raisins, fruit and any ingredients for any cooking they do.

currently i have to supply everything for ds they just tell me what they will be cooking and i get the ingredients if i can, if not he cant do it,as sometimes theres no suitable alternative.

it costs me approx five pound per week for his milk and snacks i feel like saying to them if they can provide everything for the other children for just 40p a week then why not my ds too, but i think they know itd cost them more than they get.

im just annoyed as i had a friend who works in childcare who said they really should provide it for him if they are doing it for all the other children, i paid the same fees before he got his funding it just seemed unfair to me.

he has to have snack first and separately as allergies are so severe the other day they 'forgot' to do him first and he wasnt allowed any fruit as by then the other children had touched it all with milky fingers

OP posts:
nannyl · 23/01/2011 16:52

In our preschool class (at independant school) all the young children get their milk free.

But its not provided by the school.

Some children dont like milk, but cows milk is still provided for them, and they just have a drink of water instead.

Your child will have a milk provided too, its just for allergy reasons he cant drink it.

why not let him have water and contribute the 40p per week towards the fruit, which i presume he's not allergic too

dont see why his fruit cant be moved to a seperate bowl /plate first so other children dont have a chance to touch them

Also our 3 year olds all drink their milk but can honestly say i have NEVER seen them have milky fingers!

Original poster
ariane5 · 23/01/2011 16:53

the other day i had to pick him up early after other kids got yogurt EVERYWHERE

OP posts:
Violethill · 23/01/2011 16:54

I know its tough when you have a child with allergies, but I still can't see what they're doing wrong.

40p per week is hardly a fortune! I think if you want to push your point, ask if you can pay 20, as your ds has the fruit only, not biscuits. But you seem to be more annoyed that the other children are getting biscuits and cow's milk which your ds can't have. That's not the other children's fault - or the nursery's

Original poster
ariane5 · 23/01/2011 16:54

also he needs the milk as is underweight

OP posts:
Original poster
ariane5 · 23/01/2011 16:55

its a fortune for me as a lp already paying for expensive allergy food

OP posts:
Violethill · 23/01/2011 16:55

Offer to pay 20 p

Or just supply your own fruit too

Original poster
ariane5 · 23/01/2011 16:56

but then i have the issue of cooking ingredients. they should budget to include him i think for same price as other kids

OP posts:
nameymacnamechanger · 23/01/2011 16:58

Are they actually hassling you for the money? DS's state school preschool did this and to be honest I never ever paid. Blush There was a chart on the wall and they ticked each week if a parent had paid but I was never hassled for the money and no one made an issue of me not paying.

(BTW - I simply had no money to pay, I was living with an abusive alcoholic and was scraping together copper for bread.)

If his class needed a contribution now I would pay it as I can afford to. Smile

Violethill · 23/01/2011 17:06

Is this pre school entirely free?

LadyThumb · 23/01/2011 17:39

My son was at a Special Needs boarding school. The tuck shop was free (they earned rewards). I had to supply all his 'rewards' from my own pocket as they gave out crap sweets etc. full of colourings, & additives!

curlymama · 23/01/2011 18:27

They shouldn't be cooking anything that he can't join in with without you paying for extra ingredients.

I would ask to see their inclusion policy, there and then. It should be available to you at all times, I think they are doing quita alot wrong here tbh.

Btw, I work in a pre school and we have had children in the past with various allergies. For cooking, we just have to make more effort to find things all the children can cook. Sometimes we asked for advice from the parents because obviously they have more experience.

WTF is a pre school doing feeding the children biscuits every day anyway?

outnumbered2to1 · 23/01/2011 18:30

my son's nursery takes 50p per day for snacks and milk!! I want to know how your nursery can do it for 40p a week

Original poster
ariane5 · 23/01/2011 18:45

i had to pay fees till he got funding the term after 3rd birthday (he is now 4).

they have biscuits everyday which i think id object to if he wasnt so underweight so i dont mind but if he wasnt i would not want him to have them , i think its a lot to do with the principle too, its sometimes hard finding alternatives if they make pizza for example or choc crispie cakes so sometimes he cant join in.they also want him to do cooking first/have a snack first by himself so that theres no cross contamination but on occasion he has felt left out, his allergies are severe though so i have to weigh up whats worse him upset/terrible reaction.

theyve asked me twice for the money-backdated to nov when it was only a voluntary thing! obviuosly i had decided not to do it then!

OP posts:
trixymalixy · 23/01/2011 18:51

DS's nursery have a few allergic children and they buy oat milk and suitable snacks for them. He has come home with dairy free buttons from nursery before.

I've never had to provide anything for him. Why can't the nursery provide alternative snacks for him?

tjacksonpfc · 23/01/2011 18:57

I'm confused by this contribution stuff. At my dcs school they get free milk till there 5th birthday. They also get free fruit untill year 2 all paid for under the goverment scheme.

This isn't a school in a deprived area either not one child is on fsm. Why are other schools expecting parents to pay. I thought it was a nationwide scheme?

Original poster
ariane5 · 23/01/2011 18:59

it was the case from when he first started that they asked me to provide all his snacks and drink, it was only when i stayed one day when they were making sandwiches that i realised they were not going to provide cooking ingred for free like they did for the others either, they just said 'oh he wont mind not doing it will he?' so i had a mad dash at 8mths pg to nearest tesco to get all the things just so he wasnt left out.

another incident was when a child broughtr in birthday cupcakes and he couldnt sit at the table, felt left out and cried and screamed, if id known i could have tried to provide an alternative.i just feel like he is included properly, in every other aspect they are a brilliant pre school but they really dont seem to understand the allergy problem.

to me, it feels like if they can cater for everybody else for 40p a week then why not my ds too? i want to give them a list of what i usually buy but i know itd cost them a lot more than that.

maybe i should just send him with his own fruit as well, it just seems a bit unfair

OP posts:
Original poster
ariane5 · 23/01/2011 19:00

sorry, like he isnt included properly!

OP posts:
ENormaSnob · 23/01/2011 19:10

Every child matters?

Pretty sure they can't persue for the 40p per week.

Original poster
ariane5 · 23/01/2011 19:14

it is a shame as in every other way its a lovely pre school, nice setting, friendly staff etc but they dont seem to understand the problems with allergies.

I think i just have to send him in now with fruit as well as everything else and ignore the requests for the backdated money.its only since nov that this has been an issue before that it was completely free for the other children so at least now its a little bit less unfair!

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