to expect replies to be somewhat polite in getting their point across

[scuzy]

reading so many threads and see so many one line very rude answers ... why as adults cant we have a debate and get our opinions out there without name calling swearingand down right rude? is it because your brave behind a pc screen or are you like that in RL? honestly some replies are awful.

Totally agree op. Wouldn't it be great if we could all debate like grownups, hardly ever happens on here tho.

Why do you think it should all be debate??

And also, if it's offensive, you report it and leave the thread

ilovetifany its not a debate then we all agree/disagree then there wouldnt be any rude comments so i dont understand what your saying.

I think for some it's definitely beacause they have the safety of anonymity behind their computer screens.

Some people are just cyber rude-arses..

Not come across name-calling, unless it's of the twattish OP/DH. etc. which is fair enough.

IABU does what it says on the tin.

Deal with it. Or don't post.

Agree with you, Scuzy. A heated debate is fine but rudeness or swearing is quite pathetic and doesn't add anything.

research shows that when people communicate by the internet they are most honest in their responses, kinda like a no holds barred attitude.

People aren't braver they are more honest.

or they are more 'trollish' because there are no consequences?

Am I being unreasonable is intended as an area for 'robust' debate. It has a specific header warning posters of that.

I am never rude to someone in the course of debate unless they are being vile. And rudeness is in the eye of the beholder. If a poster asks another in a sneery way why their taxes should pay their benefits I may well tell them that they should fuck off.

Some posters (not suggesting op btw) believe that you can be completely vile but as long as you avoid profanity then you have the moral high ground.
I think that is total rubbish

I usually leave short replies. It's because I want to stick my 2pence worth in but I can't be arsed to type more about some else's stupid problem.

AIBU is NOT like chat. It's asking a question, it encourages one word responses. And the potential for it to kick off is baked right in. There's a question mark over reasonable behaviour, it's inviting polarised opinions.

Chat is, er, chat.

Try a different topic.

I've noticed that people who start these threads (always in aibu, there's one at least weekly) seem to post solely or mainly in aibu. I've just searched and yes, you do the same. So either a large group of MNers are only posting in AIBU or somebody is namechanging a lot and starting the same thread repeatedly.

Honestly, aibu does not give a true reflection of MN.

There's a world outside the polarisation of aibu. Venture out.

It's the Wizard of Oz syndrome - being on the Internet gives people the impression that they are all-powerful magicians and that every word will be hung upon and they can expressive themselves as nastily/funnily as they choose.

But the curtain never gets pulled back. You can be......anything.

If I start a post in AIBU I expect robust responses and I'm not such a shrinking violet that I can't deal with a few "fuck off"s.

If I started a post in a different section and someone responded in the same way, I might be offended.

I reckon there's probably quite a few people in real life who might sometimes want to respond to me or others in this way but can't because they would be reported to HR, their manager etc... I think I see more honesty of opinion here than in real life where people have to face the consequences of expressing their opinion.

You misunderstand the nature of AIBU, I think.

Depernds on topic

I try and stay political etc but the other day when faced with a ugenicist who knew I ahd two asd kids I swore my ehad off and have not regretted once

It's becuase people feel brave behind a PC, but also becuase otehr people are brave behind a PC and say things no decvent person would every say aloud to the person they are faced with.

In real life I can just glare my distaste

'People aren't braver they are more honest.

'

sometimes

others fail to see it as anything other than the oft-cited 'words on a screen' and not get that those words hurt or cuase fear

But AIBU is as it is.

And yes I can spell eugencs

Cannot type though

Some of the very rude one-liners are between friends, a sort of in-joke. So don't take them all too seriously.

I don't have a problem with swearing but don't like it when its directed at someone. there is a big difference between "i fucking disagree" and "fuck you".

I agree scuzy.

Good manners cost nowt.

You can be 'honest' even in AIBU, without being offensive.

chilli I swore in the direct

however it's all down to what the problem is-

you are poor becuase you were lazy ats chool; I fucking disagree

your children should have been killed before birth- fuck off