to think babywearing can maybe go a bit far when it leads you to...

[Buyanewcoatofmanycolours]

wear a really dull coat forever?

Now I am a fan in general of baby wearing. Really enjoyed slinging my three all over the place but there is a mum who lives near me and I've noticed something about her attire which troubles me.

She has three boys and they look about two years apart each. In the time I've seen her at school she's just had the baby in the sling - now a fairly big toddler - but assuming she did the same with the others she must have been continuously carrying her sons for about 6 years - and wearing maternity gear too for 27 months of that time!
So that's all great but in the spring she wears a fleece sleeveless tabard which has a hole for the babies head and covers both of them and in the winter she wears the dullest coat I've ever seen which has zips fitted for access to the baby/sling. It just makes me rather depressed to think that she's been wearing this tbh hideous garment for so long. I don't get why she doesn't wear something - anything else - and put the baby on over that? Is that what other people do - I certainly did.

I know this is breathtakingly shallow of me but our clothes are a big part of our sense of self and I just fret a bit about somebody whose sense of self is so subjugated to their child.

AIBU (as well as nosy and with too muc time on my hands )

Too embarassed to post this shit under your normal name then?!

clothes might be a big part of your sense of self, but I can assure you they are not part of mine...

says a lot more about you than about them, tbh.

how utterly ridiculous!!!!

YABU and shallow and, well, silly

but I think you knew that already [win]

why would you be depressed about a mother wearing a practical coat?

You're one of those yummy mummies I read about in Sunday supplements, aren't you?

Seriously: "sense of self subjugated to one's child"?

It couldn't be that clothes don't make up a big part of her sense of self then?

"I don't get why she doesn't wear something - anything else - and put the baby on over that?"

I do not know exactly how she is carrying the baby, or the design of coat, but perhaps she wants to share her body heat with the baby?

The more I think about it, the nastier your post sounds, actually.

Well each to their own but those garments as you describe sound pretty hideous!

My thinking with motherhood and clothes is - for some people it seems to be a welcome excuse to stop even pretending to care about clothes and just wear a beige fleece for ever more. For others (me), you carry on as you did before with the welcome addition of cute little people to dress too

i wear an incredibly dull coat, because i live on the yorkshire coast and its cold and wet. i could wear something pretty but im a practical person so i go with dull, cant see any reason why that shouldnt be the case for babywearing too.

YABU, your criticism is of her dress sense, it has nothing to do with babywearing, but either way, it's not really your business.

I BW all the time, today I was wearing a black frock coat with velvet trim and carrying DS in a black and white victoriana patterned pouch sling I have various combos of coats and sling styles and colours to suit what I am up to on any particular day.

But if a mum wants to wear a fleece or a "dull" coat or a bloody bin bag, that's her call and no excuse for you to judge her parenting choices.

I wear exceedingly bad coats (ponchos and the like) in order to carry my toddler on my back and share my body heat, feel him close. I haven't stopped caring about clothes, I love them, but I love carrying my child more, and am aware that he's growing out of it (learning to scoot), so am making the most. I do touch my golden cashmere coat of gorgeousness with a little rue when I see it in the wardrobe. But I don't really want snot on it.

too much time on your hands..YABVU

Some people have no money to buy themselves clothes (not even charity shop ones). Believe me. I know.

Some people have no money to buy themselves clothes (not even charity shop ones). Believe me. I know.

I think you should give her a £200 Boden voucher to buy the coat of her choice. Money where mouth is and all that.

I know exactly the kind of coats you mean. They are specifically designed for babywearing and allow you to dress the baby in normal clothes so they don't overheat if you go in and out of shops (you can just open up or take off the coat). For someone who uses a sling a lot, it's really useful.

I own a similar kind of thing and while they are about as far from fashionable as it's possible to be, they are functional which is what my wardrobe in atm, having young children.

YANBU to think these coats are unfashionable, but YABU to make comments about another mother who chooses to wear them.

YABAT

Chipping - only mildly embarassed and I don't want the location to be obvious as I wouldn't like to upset her directly.

I think both of those things sounds fabulous -- I have just have a giant coat to go around baby ane me. One person's amazing invention is another person's symbol of subjugation...

Well, that post sounds much nicer and more like you care about her as a person, rather than a manneqin; so I'm sorry for calling you nasty, buyanewcoat.

'only in the last year or two have I realised how much I'd let 'practicality' rule and stop me exploring the other bits of my personality as expressed in clothing and hair etc'

so is this the unbridled enthusiasm of a recent convert?
You've seen how much dressing better has done for you and now you want everyone to have the same experience?

Yes!! THat's it exactly. There was a coat I used to wear that should have been removed and burnt in front of me tbh.

Babywearing???

Oh no I like the babywearing. It's the aparently necessary garment alone I argue with.

I brought my winter coat in 1998 - never found a good enough replacement (I've looked, oh how I've looked). Repaired the lining a few times and it's still going & still looking OK & keeping me warm (cashmere).

Love you Calvin Klein (only time I've ever brought an "expensive" designer item too)!!

The term babywearing has me fighting the urge to gnaw my own arm off. You are not wearing your baby, your baby is in a sling. Stop right now with the babywearing.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha