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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be peed off with my maternity cover...

31 replies

iamusuallybeingunreasonable · 21/01/2011 16:29

For keep emailing me asking about my return date 8n a round about way, desperate for me not to come back, which is not an option, when I know full well shes been crap, everyone has told me, so they wouldn't keep her anyway!

I'm just fed up of her and don't know how ill stick the week handover when I go back.... She keeps enailing basically trying to break my spirir, playing on the emotiobal card " full time, don't think I could leave my baby, how hard its going to be" etc yes I know all that, but I also know your after my job love! She's been doing this from day dot, really insensitively testing the water, I am going back, she's leaving, end of!

How do o tell het politely to do one and leave me in peqce for my final 6 weeks leave?!

OP posts:
Original poster
iamusuallybeingunreasonable · 21/01/2011 16:30

Bloody I phone, apologies for dpellin

OP posts:
Plumm · 21/01/2011 16:31

Speak to your manager and tell them to tell your cover to stop contacting you. Or delete any emails from her without reading them.

Original poster
iamusuallybeingunreasonable · 21/01/2011 16:31

Spelling grrr

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 21/01/2011 16:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bumpybecky · 21/01/2011 16:33

YANBU and I love 'dpellin' Grin

sort your email so her messages into the deleted items folder and do as Plumm suggests and ask your manager to deal with it.

Original poster
iamusuallybeingunreasonable · 21/01/2011 16:34

Really, do you think they would have a word with her?

OP posts:
BigHairyGruffalo · 21/01/2011 16:34

Is she allowed to ask about when you're coming back like that?? I'm fairly sure that she isn't... Speak to your boss.

Sidge · 21/01/2011 16:35

Can you email her saying "I'll be back on xxxxx and will not be contactable before that date", then bounce her emails back to her with a sort of 'Out of Office' reply?

IlooklikeGrotbagstoday · 21/01/2011 16:36

My maternity cover was awful too. While i was training her she was telling all my contacts that she was my replacement. I wanted to shout you are just COVERING me not replacing me! It pissed me off so much. I thought it might just have been my hormones that made me a bit sensitive about it but it still wrangles me now and that was 3 years ago.

I wonder if it's the same girl!

mincenmash · 21/01/2011 16:36

how did she get to start emailing you? I've never had any dealings with any of my maternity covers and wouldn't expect them to be emailing me. I'd make your boss aware & to have a word with her.

ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 21/01/2011 16:37

Two things - tell your manager that she is breaking the law and any correspondence from the office now needs to go through her/him - you do not want to hear from her directly again.

Secondly - how much time do you really need for handback - unless you are in some uber techincal position where much has changed while you've been away surely handback notes or half a day would be plenty. If this is some daft maternity rule I know nothing of then tell you manager to keep her busy in some other department for the best part of the week or you wont be responsible for your actions!

StormInaCCup · 21/01/2011 16:38

The way you have described it is almost harrassment. I would be very miffed and quite tempted to respond with a final terse reply, such as:

"I only have 6 weeks of my maternity leave left so am going to enjoy spending it with my baby and not thinking about work if you don't mind. I am sure you understand - I won't be able to respond to your emails unless they are urgent."

cat64 · 21/01/2011 16:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
iamusuallybeingunreasonable · 21/01/2011 16:39

I think ill let someone know, its like harassment, I've been going back since I left, some people have nooo morals, I thought maybe i was being an emotional dimwit, but looks like I need to be tougher on her!

OP posts:
ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 21/01/2011 16:40

There are a lot of rules about contact during maternity leave and I am not certain of the ins and outs, but what I do know for certain is that you don't have to put up with this and you are entitled to insist on contact with her stopping!

compo · 21/01/2011 16:40

Did you know her before she became your maternity cover? Worked in the same place maybe?
That's the onky reason I can think of that she can possibly think it's ok to be emailing you, if she thinks your friends?

ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 21/01/2011 16:42

You are not being a dimwit of any kind (well maybe a too-soft-dimwit Grin), what she is doing is harrassment and she isn't allowed to do it while you are on ML! As I said, there are strict guidelines for contact with staff on ML - this is well out of order.

Original poster
iamusuallybeingunreasonable · 21/01/2011 16:44

Mince, I have a blackberry and don't mind urgent queries that no one else can help with, although none of her emails ever ask anything work related!

BTW - I love mince and mash :o)

OP posts:
Original poster
iamusuallybeingunreasonable · 21/01/2011 16:48

She is NOT my friend and didn't know her prior to her covering me, she is a little odd, wears occasionally a leather dress to the office matched up with a puffs jacket... Crimes of fashion are being committed on a daily basis, ill bend my bosses ear I think

OP posts:
RevoltingPeasant · 21/01/2011 16:58

YANBU, you are on leave, which means you don't deal with work-related stuff.

Why are you checking your work email, anyhow?

If it's just to keep an eye on things, fine, but as a PP suggested, this is what Out of Office is for. Stick on an OutofOff message saying 'I will be back on xx' date then don't open any emails you don't want to.

Or... you could be really mean....

Email your boss:

'Just checking in! How's Penelope doing, btw? Between you and me, I did wonder how she was coping, as she keeps emailing me to ask questions. Anyhow, looking forward to being back!'

[evil bitch emoticon]

saffy85 · 21/01/2011 17:07

YANBU- I'd go spare at being harrassed like that! Definately have a word with your manager being emailed anything while on leave that is work related is out of order but to basically tell you you're not wanted/are a lousy mum for daring to leave your baby to go to work is so far over the line I'd be surprised if your Maternity cover didnt get a bollocking of some sort, especially if they're crap.

fedupofnamechanging · 21/01/2011 17:12

I'd forward a copy of her emails to my boss, when I contacted them to get her to stop emailing. That way they'll know what you have been putting up with.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 21/01/2011 17:15

Good advice you've had.

I'd do something very unwise indeed. I'd email her and I'd say "You're breaking the law by keep doing this. Also, it doesn't matter how much you try to manipulate me - I am coming back and you will not be keeping my job. So stop it. You are wasting your time.

ps - I have all your emails, which have now been forwarded to the manager, along with a formal complaint.

ButterflySally · 21/01/2011 17:21

Wow! She is really out of order. My contract recently came to an end as I was covering someone for maternity leave and there is NO WAY I would have behaved like that!

I ONLY contacted the original post-holder at their request - they asked for meeting minutes to be sent through which I duly did each month with nothing more than a "hi, hope you're well, here are the minutes of our recent meeting that you asked for"

I agree with others who say you should let your manager know. Hope you get to enjoy the rest of your maternity leave in peace!!

LisaD1 · 21/01/2011 17:23

I had this with the awful temp that covered my maternity leave, was telling people even during my handover to her that she was my replacement rather than mat leave cover and then as soon as I was gone kept telling everyone how I would never go back. Emailed me almost daily saying how awful my job was, she was a nightmare and crap to add insult to injury.

I was and still am good friends with my boss and didn't actually want to go back to work but we discussed it, I returned early from mat leave, they promptly got rid and then I resigned (which I was going to do anyway) and they found a lovely replacement!

I now have my dream job and the bitch temp is wreaking havoc somewhere else!