...to force my DD to go to school

[dizzeeee]

My DD is 12 and since starting secondary school she has been refusing to go to school almost everyday. Most days she wakes up feeling upset and angry and snaps at everyone but other days she gets up and she will be in a great mood. Almost everyday she refuses to go to school and when I ask her why she says "I Just Can't go today"
She often needs to be dragged out the car because there is nothing I can do to persuade her to go to school. She isn't very confident and she never wants to go out anywhere where there will be lots of people.
She is always very tired and really struggles with her school work.
I have spoken to a few of my friends and they said that she could have mental problems. I think she is just looking for attention. Am I being unreasonable making her go to school?

Yes in some ways its wrong to call it a school phobia because its not an irrational fear but I can understand why they put that label on it. I mean who wants to be labelled as a school refuser, At least with it being a phobia it makes people a little more understanding about it. For some children school can be so over whelming that its unbearable. The thinking you can't breath and hot sweats are bad enough but as a child the thoughts that what is wrong with me is really hard to get your head around. Lets face it if you was an adult and had these kind of symptoms you would be a little worried, so as a child with them its mind blowing. I also suffered with sleep paralysis because of the stress of having to go to school and that's an even more mind blowing experience. If you want to talk dizeeee you can always message me off board :)

dizzeeee - just a thought, is she tired more recently "She is always very tired" - more so than normal? My dd has had Glandular Fever, which we have only just found out about (her GP referred her for blood tests) and she couldn't face going to school. She is recovering slowly - she's been unwell (very tired) since Nov last year. Didn't want to see her mates as much either outside of school.

I like julienoshoes last post.

But not schools are all the same. Eventually we moved schools and DS settled. I've since seen that not schools are all the same. Some happen to have hideous teachers, while other s have kind and gentle ones who will nurture your child.