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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to dislike the term "full time mum"?

47 replies

catwhiskers10 · 20/01/2011 17:20

Just to clarify I am a "full time mum". I gave up my job just before having DD as DH and I agreed that we would prefer that I looked after her full time rather than working and relying on Childcare/grandparents.
The term "full time mum" annoys me as surely all mums (and dads) are full time regardless of whether they work or not. Do you stop being a parent while you are at work???
I refer to myself as a housewife (old fashioned i know!) but I wondered how working mums feel about the term full time mum?
Personally I think working mums must be superhuman and deserve huge respect as I find it hard to get everything done without having to work too!

OP posts:
pjmama · 20/01/2011 17:22

I think Stay At Home Mum (SAHM) is the preferred term now, although I don't particularly like that one either. I don't think there is a term which adequately sums up the job without offending somebody.

purepurple · 20/01/2011 17:24

YANBU
I am a full time mum. I also work full time(40 hours a week over 5 days) and am a part time student too.
I ahve also worked part time and before that was at home all the time. I have always been a full time mum.

bubblewrapped · 20/01/2011 17:24

the american term "home-maker" is quite a nice way to describe someone who keeps the home running nicely while the other partner is at work.. IMO

TattyDevine · 20/01/2011 17:24

I think you are not so much being unreasonable but overthinking it. Nobody really thinks working mums are "part time" in terms of being parents.

I think these days people are more offended by the term housewive.

DurhamDurham · 20/01/2011 17:24

I hate it...we're all 'full time' mums.
Going out to work whilst my children are at school does not make me any less a mum.
Very bizarre term.

TattyDevine · 20/01/2011 17:25

By the way on my Daughter's birth certificate, it has as my occupation "Full Time Mother". So that's an official document...and they still use it for that purpose!

AgentZigzag · 20/01/2011 17:25

I call myself a housewife as well.

They're both just terms, call yourself what you like.

Bucharest · 20/01/2011 17:26

I agree with Purple.

I work part time, I Mumsnet loads. I am still a full time Mum, as is the mother who works a 60 hr week and the mother who stays at home.

Home-maker makes me think of Stepfords in pinnies waggling dusters round and baking though.

DurhamDurham · 20/01/2011 17:26

bubblewrapped I keep our home looking lovely and work so can I be a 'home maker' as well as a working mum? Grin

AgentZigzag · 20/01/2011 17:27

Yes, I'd be like totally offended by being referred to as a housewive, it implies I have more to do with bees than I actually do.

SoupDragon · 20/01/2011 17:28

Well, all mums work whether they get paid for it or not so "working mum" is a bit of a shite term too.

bubblewrapped · 20/01/2011 17:28

I just say I work from home.. that shuts anyone up!.. Grin

fannyfoghorn · 20/01/2011 17:33

I hate the term 'housewife' with a passion. I do fuck all housework actually - I am at home with the kids but just look after the kids really. Not a 'full time mum' or a 'stay at home mum' (I go out quite a lot!) so not sure what to call myself.

DurhamDurham · 20/01/2011 17:35

If I was lucky enough to be able to give up work (if dh got a HUGE payrise, for example) I would say I was a 'stay at home mum' or housewife. I wouldn't feel guilty, belittled or feel the need to dress it up to sound more. I def wouldn't be apologetic like some of my frineds are. I would Love it!!

whoknowswhatthefutureholds · 20/01/2011 17:51

I've worked full/part and currently at home full-time. Doesn't and didn't bother me. I currently spending ALL my time doing things that only a mum does, whereas when I was at work I had other things to occupy my mind/time and wasn't sitting at working thinking if Dd1 needed a nappy change/ds1 a new battery for his train dd2 a handwipe etc, (and all the other exciting things )

I think full-time mum makes sense.

Hulababy · 20/01/2011 17:54

I am a full time mum. It just so happens that for part of the time my DD goes to school and I go to work out of the home for a few hours too. But when DD is at school I am still her mum. Likewise when I go to work I am still her mum. Odd phrase to use to refer to someone's work status imo.

InterruptingCow · 20/01/2011 18:00

The difference between a SAHM and a WOHM is that the SAHM is a full-time childcare provider while the WOHM shares the childcare with someone else during working hours. I much prefer that way of looking at it rather than 'full-time mum'.

NorthernGobshite · 20/01/2011 18:00

I'm a full time Mum. When I'm at work I'm still dd's Mum!

camdancer · 20/01/2011 18:07

I've been tempted to say "childminder" rather than SAHM. That's what I do all day, although I don't get a pay cheque for it. If my job paid had enough for it to have been worth my while going back, my children would be in childcare, so I see that as the job I'm doing now. But if you say childminder people think ofsted and all that so it isn't ideal. I do some housework but DH does more than his fair share. I'm definitely not a housewife. Personally I'm aspiring to be a "lady who lunches"!

matchbox20 · 20/01/2011 18:12

To be thinking this I think you have too much time on your hands.Wink

IAmTheCookieMonster · 20/01/2011 18:13

i don't work but i'm definitely not a home maker! I'm crap at housework.

zanz1bar · 20/01/2011 18:16

I like Household PA.

Jajas · 20/01/2011 18:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lostinafrica · 20/01/2011 18:30

I like to tell people that I manage four development projects...

And I do appreciate the people who reply, "And sometimes doesn't it feel like five?"

:o

AgentZigzag · 20/01/2011 18:31

It's a good job I'm not bothered about whether people would shudder when I describe myself as a houswife jajas.

Would that be an inward shudder? Or would you leave me with no doubt you felt like that?

Not that it comes up that often cos most people I know wouldn't give it a second thought.