AIBU to dislike the term "full time mum"?

[catwhiskers10]

Just to clarify I am a "full time mum". I gave up my job just before having DD as DH and I agreed that we would prefer that I looked after her full time rather than working and relying on Childcare/grandparents.
The term "full time mum" annoys me as surely all mums (and dads) are full time regardless of whether they work or not. Do you stop being a parent while you are at work???
I refer to myself as a housewife (old fashioned i know!) but I wondered how working mums feel about the term full time mum?
Personally I think working mums must be superhuman and deserve huge respect as I find it hard to get everything done without having to work too!

"Full time mum" is a horrible phrase - its like saying those that dare work or who's children go to school are part time mums.

SAHM's are unemployed, why is that so hard to put down on a form etc? Its a choice to stay home so why dress it up as anything else.

It just so happens I'm a SAHM AND WAHM (childminder) but I'm a full time mum like the parents who use my childcare services are whether they work full time, part time or are just using me for a break. If I wasn't working and I was solely looking after my children, I'd refer to myself as a SAHM and NOT a full time mum! :)

(Where'd the line go where I said I'm a SAHM with four children and a DH? Oops.)

But what about sahm mum's who have school aged children? Then is it any different to a mum who works part time out of the home during school hours?

Its simple, i am brightlightsandpromises and i am me!

There's always one brightlight...

But what happens if you're like me and defined by your DC?

I like the term 'domestic goddess' or 'domestic engineer' but I really don't think it matters how you term your role.

Personally I think terms of employment for parents who are at home with their children have little relevance as some people respect what you do, others don't (what do you DO all day?) some are just plain and some people shudder at the thought of not getting the chance to work out of the home.

I like what I do (most of the time) and use whatever terms are relevant to my audience to explain what I do. I do no more around the house than I did when working FT, I just have a LOT more time to do it in and get to enjoy the dcs without running a 6.30am start to 11pm finish day, 5 days a week (phew).

I am a SAHM, or FT Housewife, or Hausfrau, or Domestic Goddess, or Millstone (DH's favourite term ) or FT mother, or whatever...

Then AgentZigzag, i'm a bossy little madam!

I'd like to see that in action brightlight.

Sitting next to a friend of a friend in a pub chatting.

'So what do you do then brightlight'

'Oh me? I'm a right bossy little madam'

''

That beats housewife hands down, every time.

I don't like the way the term fulltime mum implies that mums who work outside the home (as well as inside) are not fully mothers!

lolol agent.........i reckon i could think of just the career!

can i ask, how would a man answer this, firstly for himself if he was at home with children, and secondly, his description for his at-home wife?

does anyone, other than mothers, really care? surely as long as you are happy that your decision is right for you and your family who cares what others call you (or themselves).

Stuff, 'I do womens work within the home whilst my wife keeps me'?

""Full time mum" is a horrible phrase - its like saying those that dare work or who's children go to school are part time mums.

SAHM's are unemployed, why is that so hard to put down on a form etc? Its a choice to stay home so why dress it up as anything else."

No, being a SAHM is not the same as being unemployed. You can't whinge about how "horrible" the phrase Full Time Mum is and how offensive it is to imply that mothers who work aren't full time mothers and then plough in with something equally horrible to label SAHMs with.

Get over yourself. Everyone knows what the term "full term mum" means, just as everyone knows that the term "working mother" doesn't mean that SAHM don't do any work.

I do find it hard to understand why we beat ourselves up about this.

YANBU. It's a very smug expression

Yep, I agree. YADNBU. I too am a full time mother. I work 40 hours a week and am a part time student. Im still a mother when Im at work or college or on the toilet for that matter - same as every other mother.

SoupDragon, am curious to know why is labelling a person who does not work as "unemployed" offensive. If a person is under retirement age and does not work they are unemployed. They may not wish to work but they are still not in employment.

Seems everyone has different ideas about this one, what's ok with one person offends another!

My DH has recently given up his job to look after the kids at home whilst I go out to work. I'm not sure what to call him now Stay at home Dad, Full time Dad, Househusband. They all sound naff. At the moment I just say he looks after the kids so I can go out to work. But it's all rather vague. Wish there was a decent word for it. Maybe we should make one up. And whilst we're at it we can make up a decent word for your partner who you are not married to. Partner sounds too business like, and boyfriend sound like we are 14!

YANBU. To approach it from a different angle, I am a 'working mum' and I loathe that expression too. How often do you hear people talk about 'working dads' - they are just men who have children and a job. Not even unusual enough to warrant a special name - just people. As should be the case for women. If we ever get to a place where men and women can share both paid work and childcare there will be no need for any of these annoying names.

HappyMummy.. "If a person is under retirement age and does not work they are unemployed."

SAHM do work - they just don't get paid for it, therefore describing them as 'unemployed' is offensive. Any mum will tell you that raising your children is the hardest, most challenging, most rewarding job you can do - and a real investment in the future.

My DH used to work with women returning to the paid workforce after long career breaks, and the biggest issue they had to deal with was self esteem. After years of being termed "just a housewife" they felt they could offer nothing .. after he went through all the skills they had used and learned being "just a housewife" and how those skills could be so usefully transfered into a paid environment, their confidence grew and grew.

So let's not write each other off with disparaging terms, but encourage one another in whatever path we are walking.