I really need help here as I have lost all perspective about what is reasonable and think I might be over reacting.
The background is that ds is a bit of an "odd" child. He has been assessed as being about 7 years ahead of his peers accademically. He is a funny, outgoing child, but does not always understand other children and can be bossy. He has be badly bullied by the children in his class as a result - although that has stopped at the moment.
He is in Yr 3. In reception he had a best friend. In Yr 1, for reasons niether the school or I ever really understood, the parents of this friend said they would like the school to keep ds away from their son. The parents were my friends and I never saw it coming. Ds cried himself to sleep for months (I was pretty upset too). I talked to ds and kept this child at arms length. Ds played with other people (eventually). Recently he and this boy have become friendly again and ds has been around to his house. I had asked him around to my house tonight.
I went to check with his mother this morning and she said "Oh, X is coming around to our house instead, perhaps your ds could come next week". I said I didn't know and would let her know - I was a bit hurt. Then she said that her ds and my ds had had a falling out at school on Mon and that was the reason. I said OK, in that case, ds won't come around next week. She asked "why not" and then (and this is the bit I am not sure about), I said that ds was really hurt last time her ds did not want to be his friend and I could not let that happen again. She looked like I had slapped her in the face and clearly had no idea what I was going on about.
Should I have just smiled politely and said nothing? I really have lost perspective, but to my way of thinking ds is just being set up to be hurt again and she has no concept of what she is doing. Talk sense to me.