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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To hope that mumsnet would offer the same support

69 replies

SpikesPet · 20/01/2011 09:38

to other, less well known or "popular" members, if they were experiencing a similar sort of crisis and asked for help?

OP posts:

MunchkinsMumof2 · 20/01/2011 10:36

I get ignored on here but it hasn't stopped me transferring £40 to 4 different Mums for various reasons. I didn't do it for any other reason than they needed help and I would hope that if I were to ever need help, that kindness would be reciprocated so yes YABU and actually sound jealous of a woman who is living a nightmare.

MmeLindt · 20/01/2011 10:40

Wright Stuff always portray MN as horrible mums.

Read the blog here

for OP of this thread

musicposy · 20/01/2011 10:41

DooinMeCleaning brilliant post. Says it all.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 20/01/2011 10:43

yes, it happens regularly on MN.

it happened just a few days/weeks ago when another MNer took emergency care of a baby and had no way of feeding her. other MNers were immediately offering help and soem were able to get in touch with OP and give practical help that same night.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 20/01/2011 10:43

and that is justa very small example. tehre are more.

kingprawntikka · 20/01/2011 11:10

Well I for one am glad the power of Mumsnet can bring this to a wider audience and don't begrudge Riven a second of the attention. Hopefully it can help Riven and other families in similar circunstances.

weirdbird · 20/01/2011 11:14

Am not sure whether you are just jealous or being a bitch, but helping one person has never stopped me helping another.

BeerTricksPotter · 20/01/2011 11:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lamorna · 20/01/2011 11:27

I'm sure they would help anyone in need, even a first time poster who was in distress.
Riven had already come to attention with DC which helped. I'm sure that all this 'popularity' business is just in people's heads.

ccpccp · 20/01/2011 11:32

Some posters are more equal than others OP, thats true.

'Royalty'

Thats not Rivens fault though.

Lots of people get support from MN. But of course, nothing like what we're seeing today. It may never be repeated again.

Also - I think there are a lot of 'active' posters (politics/diabled rights/gay rights/feminism etc) who are keen to leverage the power of MN for their causes. So when a figurehead case like Rivens pops up they are all over it on FB, Twitter, demanding a petition or a boycott etc.

Rivens case seems to be being spun out politically as a reason not to make cuts. Though that could just be the newspapers putting their own agenda on it.

Eleison · 20/01/2011 11:33

According to a MNHQ tweet, The Independent is now looking for families in a similar position to Riven who are prpared to talk to media. So just because the social media campaign happened to focus on one person it doesn't mean that others can't benefit, if they are prepared to face the horrible burden of talking to the media. It does seem that on Twitter the campaign has evolved into a more general support-for-all-carers theme. Of course it is fairly random whan one person is the focus of support, but that there are many in need of help doesn't consitute a reason for not helping one.

Eglu · 20/01/2011 11:33

Of course they would, as has been proven many times on here. THread after thread of mners helping each other out. A well deserved

Lamorna · 20/01/2011 11:36

They are only more equal than others if you think they are. I don't believe it.

nameymacnamechanger · 20/01/2011 11:38

I am not well known on here and belong to no cliques, nor am I outgoing - however over the years I have received lots of help from MNer's when I've been in need.

People have dried my tears and patted me sympathetically on the shoulder (virtually obviously),

sent me a cardigan when I've been cold,

sent a xmas parcel when we were struggling one year and christmas was going to be a bleak time,

supported me in leaving my abusive ex,

provided me with a sofa when I moved with nothing but toys and clothes, and one lovely donor sent me a generous gift I shall never forget.

Now times are better for me I am in pay it forward mode and intend to help others on mn and in rl as I have been helped in the past.

Mumsnet is a supportive place that I am proud to be a member of, threads like Riven's are mumsnet at it's best.

EldritchCleavage · 20/01/2011 11:42

I notice OP has not been back...

nymphadora · 20/01/2011 11:45

I've seen lots of little kind actions but this is a more extreme need & needs extreme action. DC met Riven to discuss her dds needs but hasn't made councils prioritise children/disabled. Rivens family is also a prime example of councils working short term. £15 an hour or £3k(at least) a week. Hopefully this will enable other caters to get the help they need.

QuintessentialShadows · 20/01/2011 11:47

Yabu. Mumsnet is not ONE entity. It is living, dynamic, composed of all its members and their inter-relations.

bookkeeperisarubbishword · 20/01/2011 11:53

Get a grip, or better still a heart OP

TeeBee · 20/01/2011 11:56

Its like any normal, functioning community in my opinion. Long standing relationships bring an element of understanding of each other's situations and trust. That's the benefit of being in a strong community - and why villages and other communities work work.

doricpatter · 20/01/2011 11:57

Mumsnet has often gone all out to help less well known members. It's the previous contact with DC which makes this media-worthy. Small-minded OP.

KalokiMallow · 20/01/2011 12:07

I don't think the OP has been reading the same MN as the rest of us, I've seen so many heartwarming threads where MNetters have pulled together to help people who are struggling.

I was one of them at one point.

RoadCraftGuru · 20/01/2011 12:09

I'm not a well known poster. And namechange too much to ever aspire to be (well either it's the name changing or the fact that I'm bloody boring .) I genuinely don't get the whole I'm not Royalty so I get ignored thing though. I don't think I've ever felt truly slighted on here. Not every thread is going to run to 998 posts. And yes, it can be annoying if you post something and somebody else gets a "good point" to the same comment 20 mins later but hey, suck it up and move on. I can also think of threads by unknown first timers that have attracted loads of support and good advice. And probably there have been equally deserving cases that due to timing or just luck haven't taken off on the same way. Not a conspiracy or a quiche thing though.

duchesse · 20/01/2011 12:09

There's a lady called Mabel who has posted on riven's thread who sounds in a very similar situation and similarly desperate. I wonder if MNHQ picked up on her post.

lostinwales · 20/01/2011 12:19

I don't think this is anything to do with a popularity contest. Anyone with such a heartbreaking plea will get help on our forum. What is more important this time is that this plea came on a day when NHS reform was being discussed simultaneously with $15.3 BILLION being promised to bankers in bonuses. The problem of respite care is decades old but the media will not be manipulated into coverage unless they think this is the time for a wider discussion. A snapshot of one persons heartbreaking problem should now hopefully push through help for hundreds of parents with similar problems.

I keep wanting to use the word 'Zeitgeist' but neither know how to spell it or exactly what it means, sure it's relevant here somehow.

narkypuffin · 20/01/2011 12:24

OP has posted twice. Both today.

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