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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have given DD a day off school? DH is annoyed!

38 replies

WimpleOfTheBallet · 20/01/2011 09:30

She woke up on Tuesday with a very sore throat and hot all over...she's 6.

For two days (Tues and Wed) she lay on the sofa, slept very badly at night due to hrer throat...she's had the shivers and was generally very weak.

Today she woke up and seems better...but her throat still hurts...she is still white as a sheet with dark circles under her eyes..so I decided to send her tomorrow after decent rest.

DH is all Hmm because she's cheered up...she's not exactly partying though and I feel like I would worry about her in school with a sore throat...I thought tomorrow would be better....AIBU?

OP posts:
BeerTricksPotter · 20/01/2011 09:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Goingspare · 20/01/2011 09:33

No, she's obviously still ill.

LauLauLemon · 20/01/2011 09:34

YANBU.

She is clearly still recovering and therefore, to a degree, still ill. If you sent her to school and the school sent her home saying she wasn't well enough to be in, would that please your DH?

You're doing what's best for her. DD1 had a temperature two days ago and is still not fully right but she's eating better, smiling and playing with her toys. That doesn't mean that she's not coughing her guts up every few minutes and blowing her nose whenever possible. Just because she seems happier doesn't mean she's completely well and she would definitely not be well enough for a full day in school.

It's not like you're keeping her off for two weeks. It's a day.

ajandjjmum · 20/01/2011 09:35

I don't keep my kids off school, but with your dd as she is, and the age she is, I wouldn't send her in until Monday, unless there's a specific reason for her going in tomorrow.

You could do some reading etc. with her if she's up to it.

I might even consider doing something terribly wicked like telling DH that the school were requesting kids not to go back until fully recovered. Saves an argument and I'd win anyway! Grin

HettyAmaretti · 20/01/2011 09:35

YANBU. She needs time to rest and get better otherwise she'll just end up being off colour and catching the next virus she comes into contact with.

Unless she's fit as a fiddle tomorrow I'd keep her off then too. It might seem like a long time, but being allowed to make a full recovery will most probably mean her attendance is better in the long run.

researchinmotion · 20/01/2011 09:36

I don't think YABU.

If she was up and about being her normal self, doing what she would normally do with a sore throat then yes, I would send have sent her off to school with some throat lozenges. But if she's still lethargic and lolling about a bit I would probably keep her off the extra day.

HettyAmaretti · 20/01/2011 09:36

Fingers slower than brain, I meant: ...being off colour for ages and...

suesfault · 20/01/2011 09:37

Does she want to go? I'd send mine if they wanted to go in the circumsatnces you've described but would be prepared to collect them if they couldn't do a full day.

It doesn't sound like anything that wpn't already be in the school so wouldn't worry too much about infecting others.

DaftApeth · 20/01/2011 09:37

She is obviously not well.

She should be bouncing back to her normal self before she is sent back in to the rigours of a whole day at school.

ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 20/01/2011 09:38

YANBU and I'd probably keep her off tomorrow too, let her build up a bit of strength before going back into an environment full of coughs, colds & god knows what else that's going around at the moment.

What exactly does he think she's missing out on at 6?

What exactly does he think will be achieved by sending her in when she's still not well? (Not very 'ill' maybe, but not 'well' either.)

Original poster
WimpleOfTheBallet · 20/01/2011 09:38

She's not bothered Suesfault...there's nothing special on...research...they wont let them have throat lozenges...any medicine including throat sweets have to be given by a parent..you have to go in to administer!

Imagine! "Here darling...a sweetie for yout throat"

OP posts:
Original poster
WimpleOfTheBallet · 20/01/2011 09:40

That;s what I think Daft...at 6 they don't need to be struggling with feeling crap and the rigours of school to boot!

Chipping...I reckon DH is bit full on because his Mum mollycoddled him....he had had loads of time off as a kid.

OP posts:
rockinhippy · 20/01/2011 09:51

YADNBU, your DH is BU....shes still recovering & going back to School when she's physically not yet properly ready won't do her any good,& could make her worse (trust me I know from my own DD) & is potentially still spreading the bug to others anyway

HettyAmaretti · 20/01/2011 10:05

(oh, and did you get sorted with your other DD's hair?)

ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 20/01/2011 10:06

Is he a bum on a park bench or has he done alright for himself despite this :)

upahill · 20/01/2011 10:09

I would send in and half expect a phone call and be on stand by to collect if necessary.

However you know your child best.

upahill · 20/01/2011 10:10

I also note it is late in the day now.

What did you decide?

lovelymumma · 20/01/2011 10:16

I think as the mum staying at home ,it should be your call,and not husbands,as to whether your child goes in or not.It is you who is having to look after them.If it was my husband at home,it would be up to him.

MooMooFarm · 20/01/2011 10:16

YANBU - I would do the same thing - I may even 'throw in' the Friday Grin.

DH thinks I'm too gung ho with days off sometimes. That's because as a child he was 'never' allowed to stay off school apparently (But them his mother is a witch Grin).

But coming from a family who took a sickie when necessary, I just don't think any harm is going to come from the odd day off - I now have a good job (with a very good sick pay package ha ha!). And actually it really annoys me the number of mums at our school who seem determined to take their children to school despite them clearly being unwell. I know it's hard if you work and 'need' school for childcare, bit it just passes all the bugs round doesn't it?

Whitethorn · 20/01/2011 10:18

YANBU and Gwyneth Paltrow is in the news for keeping her daughter out of school to go for coffee and to the beauty salon. Gwyneth felt that she (not her DD) needed it.
I loved being home sick with my Mum

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 20/01/2011 10:21

Well I found suspected headlice and kept my dd off for that reason, so shoot me Wink

feistychickfightingthebull · 20/01/2011 10:31

Yanbu, my ds12 has been off school since yesterday with a tummy bug and dizziness. I hate keeping him off school but if he is ill then he has to stay at home

IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern · 20/01/2011 10:37

YANBU your dd still doesn't sound 100% so I would have kept her off as well.
If she has spent the past couple of days sleeping and pretty poorly the first day ouf of bed is not really the day to send her back as you don't have an accurate gauge of how well she really is.
She might play about for a few hours but after being ill still be tiring easily and be crashed out on the couch by lunchtime.

I don't keep mine off lightely but would probably not put them back until Monday as it does sound like she has been pretty under the weather and the weekend will be a good chance to get her out and about again before going back to school.

MooMooFarm · 20/01/2011 10:44

Apocalypse I found some in my DS's hair last year when I was brushing it before school - so I kept him off and treated it. The school huffed at me because nits isn't a 'legitimate reason to authorise absence'.

What a load of poop. Maybe if more people kept their children at home to treat nits the little critters wouldn't be so rife.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 20/01/2011 10:47

I must confess I squealed and leapt back on the sofa like a mouse had just ran over my feet when I spotted them Blush