to not understand the "full-time mum" defensiveness

[saintknickerless]

Surely the term full-time mum is just a description for someone to use who stays at home full-time with their kids? It's not a dig at working mums who are also obviously still mothers when at work as well as daughters, sisters, cousins etc.
But if you are working full time then you're not doing "mum things" with your kids all day are you? Why are some so defensive about it?

SAHM will do for me.

If I work outside of the home I will still be a full time Mum.

Working and providing money and everything it buys is part of being a Mother or Father.

Putting a roof over their heads and food in their mouths is equally as important as any other part of Mothering.

I'm a mum and I go to work - I never clock off from being a mum, I never have a break from being a mum and I certainly dont have a holiday from being a mum and its the same for dd's daddy....it just so happens that DP is responsible for dd during the day whilst I'm at work.

I'm not arsed/offended/otherwise put off by any statements to "describe myself" because all that matters to me is that dd is cared for by her loving parents.

is it really neccessary to explain what we do to others and justify just how much we do?

"I never said fulltime mum differentiates me from anyone, except that if I say that - whoever I'm talking to then knows that I'm not employed and of course it would tend to be - what do you do? and I'd usually answer, oh I'm at home with kids or something along those lines I wasn't being funny about it at all, just genuinely, I don't have a job title because I don't have a job, so what do I describe myself as?"

Technically, you are unemployed.
Un means not so to say that you are unemployed, means that you are not employed. Contrary to your earlier post, it does not mean that you are looking for a job (usually referred to as job seeker), it just means that you don not have a job, which you don't ... so you are unemployed.

I object to the term 'full time mum' because again it is inaccurate. Being a mum is not a job role that you switch off at 7pm when the child goes to bed, or if the school phones to say your child is sick, you can't reply "Sorry, I'm not on duty now - my shift doesn't start until 3pm". You can't 'turn off' being a parent, as previous posters have said, it is not a job title. You cannot be a mum part of the time. All mums are full time mums, whether they work or not - so to say that you are a 'full time mum' is a meaningless statement.

Furthermore, what do these so called 'full time mums' call themselves when their children go to preschool or school? Do they then downgrade themselves to part time mums? After all, they are no longer there 'full time'! So I ask you OP, when your child starts preschool / school - will you be happy calling yourself a part time mum then, because calling yourself a full time mum would be terribly inaccurate!

Although, the only ones that get my back up are the mums who bleat on about being 'full time mums' and 'not leaving the kids' etc but then hold very part time jobs (in shops of an evening / weekend etc)... I know a couple who do this, but I work school hours (eldest at school, youngest at preschool), so these so called 'stay at home' or 'full time' mums actually spend less time with their children than I do with mine.

Apart from that, I don't mind - so long as it is accurate!

I am a mum 24/7 however I also work from 9-5 5 days a week when my kids are in school or doing homework. What am I then?

Actually, I rather resent the suggestion that I'm not actively being a mum or doing mum things when I'm out earning money to feed & clothe my daughter and to keep a roof over her head. Is this not also part of my responsibility as a parent?

this thread is interesting. I know some people get upset about "full time mum" as a role description but I just can't bring myself to get worked up about it.

I am a mum all the time. I work 4 days a week. I wouldn't get upset about someone else calling themselves a full time mum because that is what I consider myself to be too.

But I have, on occasion, referred to DH as a full-time dad. NOT to imply that dads working outside the home are part-time dads, but just as a way to get across what he spends his day doing. I don't like 'househusband', like housewife it sounds a bit demeaning to me.

I agree with whoever said it that I think earning the money to pay for food / roof / etc is also an important part of parenting.

I am a Mum fullstop. I work but am still a mum. And it's lovely!

Couldn't be a SAHM, but that's a different story!

I say I'm a kept woman. More fool the man who works like a dog so I can be with my children all the time, I have the best deal.