to be in tears from insomnia and wish people would understand?

[Bogeyface]

I am on my knees with tiredness, I just cant function.

I have always suffered with it, but it seems to go in waves. My GP is very understanding and will give me 2 weeks worth of sleeping pills which I make last atleast a couple of months, using them only when I am desperate. But as I am pg I cant use them atm and the insomnia is worse now, its every night.

Last night I had barely an hours sleep, and only that because DH didnt have to leave until school run time so he sorted the kids out and took them. Am only up now because the Tesco order is due and also because I am forcing myself to get up to try and create a routine of awake during the day in the hopes that it will help me sleep at night.

But what is far worse is that no one understands. My mum says I should go to bed earlier, and wont have it that it doesnt matter when I go, I cant sleep when I get there! DH thinks that because I am quiet in bed I must be asleep, ignoring the fact that I am a noisy sleeper, talking and mumbling etc! So he thinks I am exagerating when I say how little sleep I have had.

I have tried all the usual remedies, I am a member of an insomnia support website so there arent many tricks I dont know! So AIBU to expect just a little understanding and sympathy from my nearest and not- so-- dearest when I am befuddled and can barely drag myself around?!

Hi, I'm a newbie here but also a long term insomniac, and fully understand what it's like to try and get through the day on less than an hours sleep - I can really sympathise.

I often have things on my mind, or cannot clear my mind enough to sleep, but I often find when I can't sleep in bed I can get some sleep on the settee with the TV on as a 'concentration breaker'.

It's a horrible thing to have, you can feel so down and low, and its one of those things where its hard to break the cycle as the less you sleep the more you worry about it - I lie there thinking 'if I nod off now, I'll get 5 hours - if I nod off now, I'll get 4 hours' etc

Good luck Bogey, sleep well

I am so sympathetic, I had pregnancy insomnia and after a few bad nights, I thought I was going mad (and slighly was), it was sleep deprivation, nothing more. And, as you say, people think you mean getting a few hours, not that you actually don't sleep at all, or get one hour in 24.

I agree with the person that said try to get your sleep any way you can, if it's in the afternoon or daytime so be it. When the baby comes you will be up in the night, and need to grab naps, so I think all this sleep hygeine and going to sleep at 10pm (ha, ha) is great if you are not breastfeeding/with a tiny baby, but once it's all mixed up, you need to get any sleep you can just to function. I had naps and then poor sleep for years and it did work, dropping the naps didn't sort it as once you are waking three/four times a night, dropping off repeatedly is very hard.

I also get up if I can't sleep, or put the telly on or read a book. If you are not sleeping, then I'd just accept it for a couple of hours, then wait til you are dropping off on the book or with the telly on and get a couple of hours then.

This goes against all the 'go to bed at the same time, don't have TV on' advice, but personally I think lying alone in the dark for hours fretting about not sleeping is worse than having a nice cup of tea, watching some snooker and not feeling quite so alone in the world!

I suffer with bouts of insomnia and as a lone parent I can't take sleeping pills incase the kids need me in the night.
It is absolutley crippling to have not slept for days on end, I totally understand that.

I have no advice but wanted to say I understand.

Another long-term insomniac adding sympathies here. I'm in the middle of a bad bout at the moment (thank god for Zopiclone) but thankfully DH is very understanding and does everything he can to help.

Other than the pills I've tried sleeping in odd positions (head where my feet usually go; on the sofa, upright, wrapped in a duvet;)chamomile tea (bleugh and no good) and Kalms (herbal pills, not the spefically for sleep ones, just the normal ones.) Those are quite good, sometimes.

I once had to see a locum instead of my normal doctor. She suggested a lavender pillow. I nearly killed her in a fit of sleep-deprived rage. I think she saw that because she gave me the pills I needed. Honestly. Lavender pillows to an insomniac are about as useful as aromatherapy oils are in a major RTA.

specifically. See, that's what insomnia does for you...

I too am an insomniac and infact have just been prescribed meds for the first time EVER as my insomnia got SO bad that I didn't sleep at all 3 nights out of 7

It's an EVIL condition and affects everything.

What I will say is this:

I was insomniac during pregnancy too BUT when I was fully breastfeeding I slept like a baby

When you breast feed, especially at night you produce a hormone that helps you drop off better.

I had more sleep with a newborn than I do now!!

The only problem is with a newborn is that still feel ropey because it's broken sleep!

I remember thinking if one more person suggested a milky drink I was literally going to kill them! Or 'you just need to relax and stop thinking about stuff...'!

I actually sobbed on the shoulder of the lovely assistant in Boots when the pharmacist refused to give me anything to help. I also spent a small fortune on pillows that promised to make me more comfortable at night, as if it wasn't insomnia or nausea keeping me awake when pg it was aches and bloody pains.

The jolting thing - I think it has a name - hypnic jerk?

Here we go

HUGE hollow, bitter laugh at Shodan's lavender pillow! Non-sufferers really have no idea, do they?!

Quenelle, I have adrenal problems (poor function), and now know that's what I get the jolting thing (although the specialist can't explain why I've had it since childhood, when I was perfectly healthy). I follow all the guidelines to support adrenal function and they help with nearly all the symptoms... except insomnia. And, of course, what makes adrenal problems worse? Why, tiredness, of course!

Thenightsky, no-one can understand the rage that comes from just dropping off then being awoken by a sudden movement or snore from a partner, can they?! Surely constitutes Justifiable Homicide!

I wear ear plugs which do help a bit, but will have to stop wearing those when the baby is here, as obviously need to be able to hear it in the night. Reassuring to hear that BFing can aid sleep.

I've just been prescribed meds for pg migraines and although I was reluctant to take them, I'm glad I have, because not only am I free of the pain (3 months worth of 24-7 pain - fun!), they are a mild sedative and have really helped me sleep. I wouldn't suggest developing daily migraines as an insomnia cure, however!

Oh Bogeyface,it is awful isn't it? I suffer too and am regularly awake until 3-4am.I took Mirtazipine for anxiety and depression for a while and it has a sedative effect.I can't explain the joy of going to bed at 10pm and knowing that you will sleep all night.Sadly,when I stopped taking it,my life long mild insomnia became far worse.After 2.5 weeks of 1 or 2 hours sleep at night I had to start taking it again,just to function.Now I can go one or two nights without taking it,but rarely longer.

I've tried hynotherapy,it doesn't work on me,no matter how hard I tried.Herbal remedies only work if I double the dose.Insomnia is crap.

BTW,I'm not far from you.I'm about 10 miles from Loughborough.

As someone that has suffered from insomnia and nightmares my whole life and is currently 28 weeks pregnant i couldn't not reply. I saw a guy at the London Insomnia clinic www.londoninsomniaclinic.co.uk/ before Christmas to help with mine. I wouldn't say it was a miracle cure (and i've only had 1 session with him so far) but it really has helped more than anything else i've ever tried. He also does group workshops which i guess are cheaper than 1-2-1 sessions and free taster sessions. The stuff he does is not rocket science, but somehow just talking to someone about it and thinking about sleep in a different way really helped in a way nothing else ever has.

I'm going to see how the rest of the pregnancy goes and then may go back for a top up session depending on how it's going. The first 2 weeks after i saw him were amazing i slept for 7 hours, only woke once in the night to pee and managed to go straight back to sleep - it was heaven. I think you need to practice a bit more than i have to keep it at that level, but to be honest it's been so much better than i ever have been before i just feel like i can function again.

If you want to ask me anything about it please feel free.

I'm sympathetic too. Insomnia is the pits and very few people suffer from it so badly that they realise that.

I hope some of the advice on this thread has been helpful to you. I don't have any myself, but I had stonkingly horrible insomnia in pregnancy (awake for 48 hrs at one point, began to hallucinate and black out at that point) and also when my DD was 3-6m old. It has started to settle down lately although it took some time. I followed all the sensible advice about good sleep hygiene and used the Paul McKenna CD for a bit too and none of it worked quickly. But perhaps the combination worked in the end. So I hope you will find the little bits and pieces that will help you to get more sleep soon.

I haven't time to read all the replies in detail so if someone has said this already, apologies...

go back to your GP - there IS stuff you can take in pregnancy. I had hyperemisis during my last pregnancy and was prescribed Promethezine Teoclate (anti sickness drug) - side effect - I slept the best I have in years. It knocked me out.

I too have chronic insomnia, it's the absolute pits, especially with pregnancy and other children. But please, go back to the GP, there is stuff you can take.

it ruined my life, i quit a job cos of it . I can't stress enough..getting adrenals /thyroid checked out. I was producing too much adrenaline, so i was hyper. Not sleeping caused anxiety..which made me more hyper and on edge. Vicious cycle. I wanted to kill anyone suggesting lavender, hot baths, milk etc!!!!!! Those are suggestions for slight sleeping problems. Insomnia is a whole different ball game.(understatement!!!) I ended up seeing a sleep therapist. Even she couldnt help. My body literally had to relearn how to sleep again. It had adjusted to not sleeping or at best, hardly sleeping. It was the worst period of my whole life. My glands problem went undetected for years. I became a Zopiclone addict, got immune to them they stopped working. Only when my glands got diagnosed and put on meds' did things start slowly changing..after YEARS. Please explore every single avenue..life is too short to put up with this living hell. As for thyroid testing..not saying it is that..but please do check it out. It doesnt always show..get them to test and to retest...

YANBU - I feel your pain

thankfully now I only get it once every couple of weeks - and all I can do is surrender to it - read a book, have a cup of tea etc

going to work the next day is always fun!

I don;t know if MN do hugs or any of that shit but well I am sending you one x

I'm dreading going to bed, that's not going to help is it?
I've taken a Nytol and had a drop of brandy. Only lavender, meditation and hot milk to go.
Wish me luck!!

It's so frustrating I have had two full nights sleep since July when I got pg..... I really feel your pain. I try and save up treats for myself on 4od or iplayer - like gypsy wedding so I can enjoy being up for some bits of the night, I'm not a film buff but if I was I would store up films too. I also read mn and other bogs, browse and shop online write letters and emails to friends - just nice things to make me feel good. Have that cup of tea, I'm sure one won't make it worse.... I'm just so completely uncomfortable and gave had great bouts of restless legs etc as well - if breastfeeding really helps sleep I cannot wait!!

And as for the idea that this is preparing me for sleepless nights when ds is born - well shove that idea in the same place as the sodding lavendar pillow - pah!!!

You have my sympathy! I have been taking sleeping pills, until recently, for 10 years.

I hope you can get some rest tonight.

It is annoying that people seem to think that it's somehow your fault for not being disciplined enough.

I've started to find things that help me. Being really busy until 10pm so that I come home exhausted and into bed. Obviously this worked before DD when I had the time to. Me and some friends would go climbing after work.

The other thing are making some progress is the going to bed later and getting up same time.

Of course OP doesn't want tips but there are others reading this as well.

I have quite mild insomnia, for me it's the switching off. Normally if I can get to sleep I'm OK. If i lie in however, then the viscous cycle then starts. My body naturally wants want to sleep 2-10, but the real world doesn't work like that.

Oh i really really feel for you (and everyone else that suffers from insomnia) it really is awful isnt it

I go through bouts of it i will be fine for a few weeks then all of a sudden for about a week i just can not seem to get to sleep , im on a lot of medication though and have several serious illnesses so i think that contributes to mine

Luckily my DP is very understanding and will enable me to sleep in the day if i need to (he only works weekends as he spends all week caring for the boys with things like school runs and cooking etc as im unabled to do it and also caring for me to a point)but it must be frustrating for him at times too when my sleep pattern is all over the place

I find the worse thing is when you are that tired you end up sleeping after however long and then you wake up and feel worse
Much love because it isnt easy and i hope you find something to help x x x x

Morning,just offering my sympathies,i am suffering from pg insomnia,can go off ok but wake in early hrs and cant drop back off,i hope its temporary-baby due in a week-but you never know,i have sufferred before but its normally anxiety related.Have you tried excercise,that usually helps me.

You have my full sympathy.
Effects of insomnia is can be like living in hell...

Just wanted to say thanks all.

I managed to stay awake all day yesterday, and went to bed at 1am. I did actually sleep between 2 ish and just after 6am, which is a huge improvement, but I had to be practically collapsing before that happened!

There has been some interesting info for me here regarding medication and sleep clinics so I will be looking in that.

I would like to say though, thanks so much for understanding! I cried last night when I was reading messages from people that actually understand that it isnt self inflicted and that a hot bath, milky drink etc wont make a blind bit of difference (apart from making me want to pee in the night this making it worse lol!)

I admit I did LOL at the doctors suggestion of the lavender pillow. That is perfectly understandable from a lay person who has never suffered, but you would expecct a GP to know better!

Thanks again, I really really do appreciate your understanding :)

I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I am suffering with almost the same problem myself. I do sleep but only when I am so tired I cant stay awake and my body eventually crashes out. I don't know why thie is happening, its only started in the last few weeks and I wonder if its my hormones. I was going to ask my doctor for sleeping pills tomorrow but now I know you cannot take them while pregnant I feel

I hate that no one takes it seriously. I almost ripped my DP's head off for telling me to "just try and sleep" last week. I was still awake when he got up at 7am and let him have it as I was so furious and frustrated.

Hope your's evens out soon.

Well that's a bit better, Bogeyface. Glad you got a bit of sleep at least.

I must say I found it a strange comfort last night as the hours tocked away, thinking about my fellow sufferers.

Not that it did a blind bit of good- got to sleep at (about) 4, woken at 5.30 by ds2, again at 7 (DH) and again at 8 (Ds1)

But I'm very very grateful to DH and ds1 (14) who looked after ds2 from 6.3o til 8, when ds1 had to leave for school. Bless 'em both.