to be in tears from insomnia and wish people would understand?

[Bogeyface]

I am on my knees with tiredness, I just cant function.

I have always suffered with it, but it seems to go in waves. My GP is very understanding and will give me 2 weeks worth of sleeping pills which I make last atleast a couple of months, using them only when I am desperate. But as I am pg I cant use them atm and the insomnia is worse now, its every night.

Last night I had barely an hours sleep, and only that because DH didnt have to leave until school run time so he sorted the kids out and took them. Am only up now because the Tesco order is due and also because I am forcing myself to get up to try and create a routine of awake during the day in the hopes that it will help me sleep at night.

But what is far worse is that no one understands. My mum says I should go to bed earlier, and wont have it that it doesnt matter when I go, I cant sleep when I get there! DH thinks that because I am quiet in bed I must be asleep, ignoring the fact that I am a noisy sleeper, talking and mumbling etc! So he thinks I am exagerating when I say how little sleep I have had.

I have tried all the usual remedies, I am a member of an insomnia support website so there arent many tricks I dont know! So AIBU to expect just a little understanding and sympathy from my nearest and not- so-- dearest when I am befuddled and can barely drag myself around?!

Poor you! It is awful, isn't it? I saw a documentary on TV about insomnia and it said that insomniacs spend the more time in bed than non-insomniacs (because they are trying to go to sleep). The solution in this documentary (which works on the people in it) was to go to bed latter and actually wait til you were utterly exhausted before going to sleep (as opposed to going to bed early as your mum suggested). Then getting up as soon as the alarm went off in the morning. After about a week of only being in bed for 8 hours, the people on the show were back into normal sleeping habits after years of insomnia...

I am in the middle of a bout of insomnia, I am blaming the Full Moon at the moment!!
It comes after months of sleeping on my nose during the day and sleeping all night so I was convinced it had gone forever! No such luck
If you have tried meditation give it a go, I've been prompted by this thread to use the CD I've downloaded tonight.
You have much sympathy and I'm sending blessings your way too.

Huge sympathies from me Poor you.

I lie awake hour upon sodding hour, night upon night. I feel like a zombie most days. When I do doze off DH will snore and wake me about 20 mins later too. I think I must be a very light sleeper.

On flights where everyone is asleep, I'm the one wide awake.

I boil with anger over it. It's gone beyond just feeling sad or upset now.

I have found one thing that puts me to sleep however. Jeremy Kyle. I can sit on the sofa, switch him on and by the second lot of chavvy shouting I'm gone

My mother is an insomniac, I really feel for you. She has had hypnotherapy under a bloke called Moses Wong in Melbourne, Australia. He hasn't cured her but she is getting a lot more sleep than she used to - she's regularly getting 5 or 6 hours a night, which is enough to "function"

He has cured a lot of people, he is very well known for it in Australia.

He has quite a lot of info on his website, including a free "sleep manual", it may be nothing new to you or it might be a different approach - hope it doesn't seem trite but here's the link

Its not a very slick website but he's not a "brand" like Paul McKenna (! who is also good I'm told) but have a read. He is a published author though.

I second the hypnotherapy idea. The therapist can teach you how to let go of stress and anxiety and fall asleep naturally. Tapes and cds can help too.

The good thing about HT is that it should take only one or two sessions to have an effect.

Do you only sleep an hour or so every night and no sleep during the day?

Im not too sure but I think you can take low dosages of diazepan when pg. however they have never worked for me.

I have always suffered with insomnia and unfortunatly no routine will banish it.

My gp was not very undersatnding at all and refused to prescibe any thing, the diazepan a friend gave me, naughty!!! anyway his advice to me was do not lay in bed awake at night give your self 2 hours in bed and then get up, do some thing like house work, reading sowing anything acitive for 2 hours and return to bed 2 hours again and get up 2 hours again. go to bed at night and get up at the same time each night and morning.

and sleep in the day time when you can.

not to helpfull but does help with the agittation of just laying awake all night. going to bed and getting up at tye same time will condtion you body and mind when when you are able to sleep.

also my insomina returned when I was early pg but I did experience very healthy sleep patterns nearer the middle and during the end I woke evey 4 hours, strange my body must have been preparing for night feeds.

Another lifelong insomniac here. I totally sympathise with you. Am 23 wks pg and am getting very little sleep and worrying about how I'll cope with a baby waking me all the time - if I'm woken up by anything, that's it, I'm awake, full stop.

I am smiling wryly at the posters offering tips about sleep hygiene - it's lovely to offer that advice, but most hardcore insomniacs will have tried all of those and they just don't work. My GP sent me on a workshop course for insomniacs; I asked in advance if it'd be more than 'don't drink coffee and watch horror films just before bed' and was assured it was more sophisticated than that... but it wasn't. It's v insulting to long-term insomniacs to suggest that all they need is a milky drink and a nice bath.

My problem is quite odd - I do start to fall asleep but my mind becomes aware that it's drifting off and this makes it rouses itself. I can spend hours just jolting out of semi-consciousness every few mins I was once moaning about it a few years ago and my Gran, who is also a lifelong insomniac, said that's exactly her problem too, so perhaps there's a hereditary thing going on in my case.

Weirdly, I can fall asleep at the drop of a hat in places/situations that would seem unlikely - in the cinema during a loud action movie, in a plane with lots of chattering and turbulence, etc.

The only thing that sometimes works for me is telling myself a story inside my own head and keeping the details quite vague and plain. Sounds odd, and it doesn't work all the time, but it does work sometimes. Trying this would be the only thing I could suggest.

PS I feel your pain over being told to go to bed earlier - I stay up late because if I'm not dropping with exhaustion before going to bed I know I won't sleep for a single minute.

Sorry, I meant that the workshop I went on was patronising, not MNers :)

Oh you have my sympathy too but then i am a fellow insomniac!! And my mum too tells me to go to bed earlier. I go to bed about 12ish usually but it will be at least 2am before i get to sleep (during bad phases will be 4 or 5am before i drop off) and i have to get up at 6.30 for work so on a good night i get 4-5 hours sleep, on a bad night 1-2 hours. I have learned to cope with 4 or 5 hours but find it very hard to function on just 2 (never nap in the day either).

And as others have reiterated, I have tried all the usual milky drink, bath, lavender oil, hypno cds/tapes etc and i find it does not matter whether i do or dont drink coffee/alcohol or whether i watch tv or dont watch it that it makes no difference to my sleeping. I wont take sleeping pills cos i am a single parent and i worry about being in a deep sleep and my kids needing me in the night (have tried nytol etc and think i have now become immune to them all!!).

OP, sorry that i cant suggest anything to help you cos as of yet i have not found anything that helps me either. And its like any other condition/illness, unless you have experienced it yourself you cant understand what its like.

Scorpette... EXACTLY my problem! It's that dozing off stage that is so bloody difficult to get beyond. And just when I think I've conquered it, DH does a loud snore and I'm all wide awake again and fuming

I also agree that the 'have a milky drink and warm bath' brigade have no clue.

Your falling asleep in cinema thing is like my falling asleep within mins of listening to the Jeremy Kyle show too.

You poor thing - I also suffer from insomnia so know how debilitating it is and how you feel like you're losing your mind. I got so sick of DH saying things like, "stop worrying about sleeping and you'll just drop off!". I became OBSESSED with my sleep (or lack of) for ages. Like you, I would get a small amount of sleeping tablets and make them last for a few months.

I tried hypnotherapy and did find it quite helpful. The other thing that really helps me is exercise. Obviously you can't over do things if you're pregnant and I know you must be quite pushed for time but could you fit in a good walk late afternoon or early evening?

poor you . This wrecked my life for five years. What really helped was seeing a good nutritionist . Also get thyroid and adrenals checked out.

It sounds as though you may be hypersensitive to your surroundings if you're jolted awake by a loud snore from your DH. As a practical help, what about earplugs and a black-out eye mask? If you can dampen down outside simuli it may help you move beyond the dozing stage into sleep.

If nothing is helping, go back to your GP and ask to be referred to a sleep clinic. This isn't a mainstream solution but if insomnia is clearly having an adverse effect on your quality of life it's an avenue worth exploring. You never know, you may even get to the bottom of it all and cure things for good!

Hope things improve.

YANBU I know how you feel and have suffered myself with it for long periods. Be careful with the sleeping tablets as coming off them can be a nightmare. I cut them in half to taper off them. The good news is that I got better and now have no problems but it took time and yes people don't understand and say silly things out of ignorance. Hope things get better soon.

I've had it all my life too and I sympathise - it can be really awful. I seem to have times when it is really bad and times when it eases a little too.

It was pretty bad during pregnancy as I found there were other things disturbing my sleep too. Strangely, I could fall asleep really easily (I could not stay awake past 10pm), but then would wake at about 3am and not be able to go back to sleep.

The one thing which has eased it is having my daughter, since she was born 2 years ago it has got a lot, lot better. In the early days when she was waking for a feed each night, I would be able to go back to sleep easily. It seemed that something/ someone else keeping me awake (rather than the insomnia) helped me sleep. I still have the occasional week where I am lying in bed awake til 5am but it's not as often.

I also don't go to bed until I am really tired (most nights about 1am).

OP, not read whole thread but as a fellow sufferer I can tell you that my GP did 'allow' me to take Zopiclone (I just took half tablet at lowest dose) during pg, in an absolute emergencey (I have another child too so really needed some sleep). Its up to you of course, but weigh up risks of taking soemthing during pg against effects of insomnia, which I know are tremendous. Thinking of you, much sympathy.

As a fellow sufferer, I completely understand and do feel very sorry for you.

Most people have no idea, my OH thinks I worry too much, but I can be wide awake all night, even if I have very little on my mind. I have had several weeks of good sleep and have no idea why I am sleeping so well. If I could work it out, I would make sure I do the same thing during periods of insomnia.

I also hate seeing people on facebook saying how tired they are because they only got 7 hours sleep last night! Try having 2 hours sleep a night for weeks on end, then you can really say you are tired. Although I think you go beyond tired to a sort of "just about functioning" level. Everything is an effort and I can feel depression kicking in.

I went to the doctor once and was told to drink whisky before bed! and he literally shoved me out of the door while I was sobbing. Although I have a different doctor now, I've never been brave enough to go back and to be honest, I'm a bit scared of sleeping tablets and the negative effects.

No advice for you, but I do understand your pain and suffering.

I really feel for you. I had pg insomnia & with a 4 month old I pretty much have not had a full nights sleep in 12 months.

Fwiw the dr did proscribe me with some sleeping tablets, Zopiclone I think they were. They weren't keen but I begged for something.

It's awful, especially with other kids to look after. The other only thing I found that helped was, as another poster mentioned, going to bed later. I didn't get much more sleep but it wasn't broken.

OP, I can't imagine what full blown insomnia would be like, I had it during pg and it was horrific enough then (and like the other poster with a small baby I wonder how I still function during the days) there is that sometime feeling of being drunk and out of control followed by nausea and what I can only describe as jetlag.

During pg, for some reason I found it easier to sleep on the sofa with background noise but I appreciate that isn't for everyone!

I also suffered from stress insomnia when I was younger and the one comforting thing was that my dr said that if I "rested" i.e lay very still with my eyes closed and relaxed then my body would function nearly as well as sleeping. He gave me some excercises to do starting with flexing and tightening the muscles in my legs and working my way up to my neck, this then allowed me to feel slightly weightless - however I expect that you have been told all of this before!

But the excercises followed by listening to calming music (classical/and weirdly the carpenters!!!) on my ipod did help me to relax. And I felt slightly better because of it, not great like a full nights sleep but better.

oh and btw YANBU, you definitely require sympathy and lots of it!

Scorpette I have that jolting thing too. It's like an impulse in my brain senses that I'm falling asleep and needs to jolt me awake. Perhaps it's a hormonal/adrenaline thing?

That's one for yer boffins to think about...

Massive sympathy from a (thankfully intermittant) sufferer from insomnia.

On the bright side, I found that the insomnia disappeared for a while after DD was born. I think was just sooooooooo exhausted that I couldn't do anything BUT sleep when I got the opportunity. Plus of course initially you have all those happy hormones whizzing around your body, which helps.

Insomnia didn't come back until DD was a little over a year old - and had started sleeping through the night - hence I was no longer totally exhausted.

I've only experienced a few bouts of insomnia, but the one thing that helped me (and helped with episodes of anxiety too) was fairly vigourous exercise. Trickier though that is when you're pg. You've probably tried it already, but I can't think of anything else!

oh god OP i feel your pain :(

i am not as bad as you but i have had problems sleeping for several months now, it started when my youngest kept waking up in the night and now i keep thinking she is going to wake up so can't get to sleep then when i do, i wake up intermittently anyway.

its horrible. i have tried night nurse but they don't really do much apart from make me feel a bit drunk then i am really groggy the next day.