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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Baby ear-piercing

205 replies

cherryred · 19/01/2011 09:57

I know this topic has been talked about before but I feel so shocked at having witnessed a baby having her ears pierced that I'm bringing it up again.
I was in a branch of Claire's with my 10 year old when it happenned, the baby was quite young and absolutely howling in shock and pain. My daughter started crying too, she couldn't believe anyone would needlessly want to hurt their baby in this way. I left feeling that this really shouldn't be allowed to happen, ear-piercing doesn't benefit a baby in any way, it's as if some parents don't realise that babies are real people with feelings not just little dollys to dress up. Ok rant over! Angry

OP posts:
Hatesponge · 20/01/2011 22:01

If it's done properly, it doesn't hurt. I'd never have my child's ears pierced at Claire's accesories, or any high street shop for that matter.

Mine were done by my GP when I was 6 or 7. I should have had them done as a baby (as all my - Italian - family have), but didn't due to illness/low immune system.

If kept clean and earrings 'turned' daily, ears should never become infected. If I had a DD (rather than 2 DSs) I would almost certainly have them done while she was a baby/toddler.

Call me a chav and flame me all you want :)

Hatesponge · 20/01/2011 22:02

accessories

mrsgordonfreeman · 20/01/2011 22:06

Actually, when we were in Spain with DD in the summer, a few people asked if she was a "nino", i.e. a boy. They were usually surprised when I said no, "nina", a girl.

Being as she was wearing frilly pink frocks and frilly knickers that we had bought in a Spanish department store, I was quite surprised until I noticed that almost all Spanish baby girls have pierced ears.

I didn't know they do it in hospital though. I oddly have less objection to piercing a newborn's ears, I am not fussed about male circumcision for the same reason.

Bear
hairfullofsnakes · 20/01/2011 22:18

I am fairly new bicbac so missed the circumcision thread but I am finding some of the posts here quite disrespectful to another person's opinion! Of course it is fine to disagree but many are quite insulting in their disagreements and I don't get why it has to be like that. And to liken it to child abuse is going a bit far surely?! The fact is, it is part of many cultures. I had mine done young but don't remember it at all whereas some friends who had it done later do remember! But still, I will wait until my girl is older and if she wants them pierced.

jessiealbright · 21/01/2011 00:00

mrsgordonfreeman

"I have also seen a toddler in Claire's getting her ears pierced - her mother was holding her down as I guess she'd had the first and was trying to escape the second."

That makes me want to cry...

Ivette · 21/01/2011 02:29

i absolutely hate it! basically all my and my XP family wanted to talked me into it but i said no, it looks awful, just horrible! its a baby! ive had my ears pierces when i was 15 and i dont regret that not when i was 6 weeks old, like some parents do (!!!)

GloriaSmut · 21/01/2011 02:42

YANBU. I hate it and I hate the very idea of putting a baby through unnecessary pain.

As it happens, this very afternoon, me, ds and ddil were discussing the piercing of baby ears. I was cuddling my beautiful, two-week old grand-daughter at the time and we looked at her, sleeping peacefully in my arms and wondered how anyone could seriously consider that she might need her ears pieced until (at the very earliest) she was at an age to ask for this herself.

LDNmummy · 21/01/2011 05:26

But would the same people here, as in the majority, tell thier friends or family it was wrong to baptize a child and induct them into a religion?

This thread is one of the most culturally ignorant I have seen on MN as well as one of the most rediculous. I don't mean to offend, I just think it is rediculous to compare ear piercing to child abuse. Everyone is acting like it is permanent scarring. I agree that it would probably be best done later in the childs life, but for goodness sake, I would not call people child abusers. The child can choose to take them out when they get older and the holes will close up. What is the big deal aside from doing it in Claires (I do disagree to using a piercing gun on such a small baby).

The cultural significance of piercing in some societies is immense. It can denote what tribe or ethnic group you belong to for instance. It is something that has been passed down by ancestors for much longer than family names and is held in much higher regard.

In India women pierce parts of thier body to symbolize certain things. A nose piercing is believed to help with child birth.

Circumcision is immensely popular in the USA, it is considered very unhygienic for a man to not be circumcised and some women will refuse point blank to have sex with a man if he isnt. Are the Americans a nation of child abusers? Should MN start a campaign and send a letter to the white house asking them to stop this cruel and abusive act?

monkeyslut · 21/01/2011 06:04

YANBU. And yes I judge when I see it, culture or not

But my main gripe is with the use of piercing guns. They should be illegal IMHO. I think I would be a little bit less incensed if I knew that there was no way that the baby/infant had been pierced by a 2-week trained 17 year old claires/jewellery shop/blue banana employee brandishing an unsterilisable gun.

Alas I know that the majority would have been done by a gun and not by a professional who has undergone 2 or more years of training and uses sterile equipment and needles that are able to be autoclaved.

GotArt · 21/01/2011 06:35

I wouldn't have my DD's ears pierced until she asked and then it would most certainly not be at high street shop or anywhere that a 'gun' was being used. Hard for me to say no to piercing as I have mine done and a nose piercing. I'd probably have her wait till she's about 10 though. I wouldn't judge other parents, I just feel that DD should be allowed to make the choice.

Want to talk about what could be considered child abuse though, as I flicked through the channels the other day, I came across a 15 month old getting a spray tan and a six year old begging and screaming at having her eyebrows waxed on a show called Toddlers and Tiaras. The spray tan thing shocked the shit out of me, a 15 month old inhaling that, can't be good.

hairfullofsnakes · 21/01/2011 07:05

Very good points LDN there have been comments that have displayed a lot of cultural ignorance - and I agree that the biggest problem is using a piercing gun on a baby. Not everywhere does this surely? Where can people go to get the old fashioned method?

OTTMummA · 21/01/2011 09:39

LDN, i don't agree with choosing a religion for your child either, but, it isn't permenant is it?!
Baptising isn't a physical act done to you that leaves you permanetly scarred does it?

My sister had her ears pierced when i was 5 ( had mine done at 2 ) she had an allergic reaction and now has quite noticable scar tissue that potrudes from her earlobes (sad)
That is a risk and a very possible reaction to ear piercing, and i think aside from the choice being taken away from the indiviual, the possibility of leaving your child marked like that isn't worth it tbh, for cultural reasons or not.
I don't think you are doing the best for your baby when you choose to put your child through this.
So i am not sure what i would call it tbh, but when i see a baby/small child with them in, it leaves me feeling sad and asking why oh why?!

OTTMummA · 21/01/2011 09:45

Oh, and i haven't worn earrings for over 15 years, i still have the holes, even last year my sil bought me earrings because she noticed my holes etc and thought i hadn't got any studds i liked, so got me some amythest (sp) ones.
They are lovely to look at, but i just do not like the feeling of earrings!
So LDN, once you have your ears pierced, you always have the holes, even if they close up, they still look pierced.

twirlymum · 21/01/2011 10:02

LDN
"In India women pierce parts of thier body to symbolize certain things. A nose piercing is believed to help with child birth."
Do you honestly believe that?
WTF? Again, it just highlights what is excusable in the name of 'culture'.

jessiealbright · 21/01/2011 12:53

"It's cultural" on its own doesn't justify anything. But as you seem to think culture is vastly important, how do you feel about female circumcision? Do you think it should be legal in Britain?

Circumcision isn't the uncontroversial example you're looking for- some Americans think infant male circumcision is child abuse. Which may or may not be why the popularity of it is dropping. Some women will refuse point blank to have sex with a man if he is/isn't circumcised, yes. There are also women who will refuse point blank to have sex with a man under 5 foot 6/ with ginger hair/whatever.

Like many other people, I aspire for my children to have meaningful relationships with men/women who accept their physical "flaws" and will be more interested in them as people, rather than considering them a life-support system for genitalia.

However, I thought this thread was about infant ear piercing...

mrsgordonfreeman · 21/01/2011 19:11

I don't want to be a pedant but "female circumcision" is not "circumcision." It is female genital mutilation or FGM. It is in no way equivalent to male circumcision or indeed ear piercing, it is a method of permanently mutilating a woman's body and cannot and should not be excused by appeals to culture.

As you were.

jessiealbright · 21/01/2011 20:26

Yes, I completely agree that it is mutilation; I referred to it as merely circumcision to see how hairfull and LDNmummy would respond.

Lotster · 21/01/2011 20:30

YANBU

Vile and Cruel.

ChildofIsis · 21/01/2011 20:39

My friends ears were pierced when she was a toddler.
She hates the fact that no-one asked her permission to do it.
She's 55 and doesn't wear earrings and has obvious indents in her lobes.

She sees it as a form of abuse, she was robbed of something that belonged to her.

Her daughter was 16 before any piercing was done

MissBeehiving · 21/01/2011 20:40

I don't like it and I wouldn't want to subject my DC's to it. If they want to do it once they are older then that's up to them.

MissBeehiving · 21/01/2011 20:40

Whoops - a random apostrophe.

FreeBards · 21/01/2011 20:56

I think we should pierce babies ears at birth simply to stop this debate happening on internet forums forever more. Grin

Or we could C&P the following the next time this crops up:

  • OMG! It's HIDEOUS!
  • I luv it, lol.
  • In our culture, it's normal.
  • Who cares?
FreeBards · 21/01/2011 20:58

OMG! Someone call the internet police!! We have a random apostrophe reported. I repeat, a random apostrophe.

I need more wine.

FreeBards · 21/01/2011 21:00

She sees it as a form of abuse, she was robbed of something that belonged to her.

lol

In a world where children are raped I think most sane people could get over a couple of pin holes.

Mumcentreplus · 21/01/2011 21:05

Ha!@Free now that makes too much sense..