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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby ear-piercing

205 replies

cherryred · 19/01/2011 09:57

I know this topic has been talked about before but I feel so shocked at having witnessed a baby having her ears pierced that I'm bringing it up again.
I was in a branch of Claire's with my 10 year old when it happenned, the baby was quite young and absolutely howling in shock and pain. My daughter started crying too, she couldn't believe anyone would needlessly want to hurt their baby in this way. I left feeling that this really shouldn't be allowed to happen, ear-piercing doesn't benefit a baby in any way, it's as if some parents don't realise that babies are real people with feelings not just little dollys to dress up. Ok rant over! Angry

OP posts:
narkypuffin · 19/01/2011 15:02

I totally disagree with the person who said it doesn't hurt. It bloody hurts and continues to hurt for ages as if you rest your head the backs of the earrings push into your neck.

I've had various needle piercings and none of them caused a fraction of the pain that having my ears pierced with a gun caused.

mippy · 19/01/2011 15:29

It's common practice in several West African countries as well.

mippy · 19/01/2011 15:30

I saw a baby with an anklet on the other day. Is this the new thing?

bestmamaderwelt · 19/01/2011 16:03

Different cultures do it all the time. The pain isn't nearly so bad apparently when there little, soft ears and that. I'm sure t started for religious reasons. Live and let live the pain is so momentary and it doesn't cause any future problems, in fact the lobes are supposed to be important acupuncture points, so who am i o judge.

bestmamaderwelt · 19/01/2011 16:05

the snobbery here is amazing :/

melikalikimaka · 19/01/2011 16:11

Maybe they have got them done for cultural reasons. But that is the last thing I would do to my little child.

theoriginalscummymummy · 19/01/2011 16:17

YANBU. It's gross. Somebody would call the social if you punched a hole in them with a glorified staple gun anywhere else.

bestmamaderwelt · 19/01/2011 16:18

Thats fine like i said lets live and let live.

esmeroo · 19/01/2011 16:21

I heard a mom the other day whose 11 week old baby had her ears pierced. She was telling another parent that it was best to do at a young age because babies dont feel it. The other parent was agreeing!.

coatgate · 19/01/2011 16:22

Mippy - so is female circumcision.

Surprised by this thread. On one a few months ago there were lots of people defending ear piercings in young children and babies. I got a bit of flaming because I have told my DD that she will have to wait until she is 16!

I might relent on it and move to maybe 14, but apart from the chaviness I simply could not stand her losing her bloody earrings all the time!

twirlymum · 19/01/2011 16:24

I am always astounded at what can be excused in the name of religion.
Btw I have never heard of a religion where ear piercing is compulsory Hmm

samoa · 19/01/2011 16:24

bestmamaderweit you are so right, there is too much snobbery here. I am from West Africa and it is completely normal to have a baby girl's ears pierced. In fact I had my dds done when she was 6mth old. She did not cry and they have never been infected. I had mine done when I was 6 weeks old and I have never had problems. I just took them out when I played sport. I can't live without my earrings.

It is not child abuse or chav.

begonyabampot · 19/01/2011 16:25

anklet bracelets can be cultural as well.

OldMumsy · 19/01/2011 16:28

Look on the bright side, the chavs haven't started tattooing their babies yet Grin but give it time I suppose...

izzywizzywoowooo · 19/01/2011 16:28

I would never get DD ears pierced, Don't see why anyone would to be honest...I feel guilty enough taking her to get her jabs! Why would anyone want to put their baby through unecessary pain?! I really don't get it..

I would also refuse to pierce a babys ears if I was in that line of work.

To a PP who said she saw a baby screaming and had to go out, I'd be the same, otherwise knowing me I would of said something, not like the poor baby can!

pascoe28 · 19/01/2011 16:30

Samoa - What is normal in other countries is not necessarily normal here - female circumcision, polygamy, no laws against rape, for example.

If people want to pierce their children's ears before they are old enough to object, that is up to them...just as other people are entitled to draw their own conclusions.

begonyabampot · 19/01/2011 16:31

but in some cultures it is seen as the norm and they probably can't see any reason why you wouldn't get it done. Still think it should be illegal in the UK though but I really don't care enough to make a fuss.

samoa · 19/01/2011 16:34

pascoe28, I agree with you on the fact that what is normal in one culture may not be in another. But what I object to is being called a chav

samoa · 19/01/2011 16:38

I don't really think that you can lump ear piercing in with female circumcision, polygamy and rape.

pascoe28 · 19/01/2011 16:38

samoa - you've been called a chav by some stranger on a website, someone you will never ever meet or have anything to do with again...bit of perspective needed, perhaps??!

Lonnie · 19/01/2011 16:39

I have not done any of my daughters ears because I didnt feel that it was something I wished to do (nor did my dh)

I had my own done at age 7 and Ive loved having them pierced since my daughters are 13 11 and 7 none of them have it done they have not asked enough for me to do so (as in I dont say sure you can have it done when they first ask I say if you want to in 6 months time we will speak of it)

Having said all of that I think a lot of YABU. it IS a cultural thing all you are saying is that it is not a part of the culture of Britain you grew up with. Doesnt make it less of a cultural thing. I will also say this idea of waiting until secondary school is a HUGE cultural thing. (I grew up in Denmark when I first heard that one my mouth fell open why do you suddenly know at age 12 but not at age 11?)

It is possible to have different cultures within the same country I think it is fair to say that the piercing babies ears is one of those. it is not a middle class thing I will completely agree.

It is the parents choice all you can say is " I would not make that choice" and yeah I guess judge but plenty of that is going on on this thread imo

LadyInPink · 19/01/2011 16:43

I had to wait until i had left school to get mine done and i wasn't too fussed about waiting as suffered from eczema but my DD age 6 has stated she never wants hers done even though some friends do (though none in her class) and so it will be her decision.

I have a friend who is half spanish and had hers done at a very early age. She is married to an English man in this country and she has said she wants her baby to have her ears pierced (currently pg with a girl) but he says no. I agree with him because they are in this country where culture has nothing to do with it. Her sister however defied her English DH and got her DD done anyway. I do think both partners should agree if piercing a baby but the child should ultimately makes the decision when they are old enough imo.

ThistleDoNicely · 19/01/2011 16:47

YANBU. I think 10 might be a reasonable age if the girl was sure she wanted it and responsible enough to carry out aftercare. I'm expecting a boy and there will be no ear piercing at all while he is under my roof [practices stern mother voice and finger wag] as I think ear piercings look vile on boys.

I was allowed my ears pierced at 11 (just before going to secondary school) after years of begging my mum. As a teenager I wanted to get my nose pierced and my dad said that would be fine as long as I got both nipples done at the same time - I never did get my nose pierced! Grin I did however, as a student, get several other piercings, including one nipple. Never told my dad though hehe

bestmamaderwelt · 19/01/2011 16:47

female circumcision is a terrible comparison. Living with pain for the rest of your life and never being able to enjoy sex following a horrific procedure is not the same. No body would chose it, unlike ear piercing. Its done to control women. Ear piercing is about acupoints and adornment.

LeQueen · 19/01/2011 17:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.