24 hrs and I am still fuming... AIBU??

[Whiteybaby]

To give a bit of background I am 23 weeks pregnant with DC2. DD1 is 21 months. I work 4 days a week and commute to London for three of those with First Capital Connect using their carnet tickets. For those that dont know these are sold in packs of 10 singles and you fill the date in when you use them. It gives 10 singles for the price of 9 and is a great way to save some money and time if you dont need a season ticket due to not travelling 5 days a week.

Yesterday I was running late for the train so dashed on with a minute to spare. I hadn't filled in the date on my ticket (which you are supposed to do prior to entering the station) so before I sat down I got my pen out and filled in in. The train was heaving with people standing so I went into 1st Class.

Anyway a ticket inspector came into the carriage and immediatly said I shouldnt have got on the train before filling in the date on this ticket. I said sorry but that I was running late and had forgot to do it before. She said "if i ever see you do that again i will fine you!!!" .

She then went on to say this is a standard class ticket why are you in first? I explained that I was pregnant (very obviously so) and that there were no seats in standard. If you have a season ticket FCC will give you a letter to allow you to sit in 1st. However, with these carnet tickets you cant have that but I had been told inspectors would be sympathtic. She just kept banging on tho that I shouldnt be there without this letter. She finally grudgingly said she understood but that another inpsector would fine me!

She was rude and agressive from the start and to my shame I spent the rest of the journey sniffing into my hanky in true hormonal style .

I have reported the incident as think she was out of order but have been told that it is up to inspectors discretion as to whether a preg lady can sit in first if no other seats available. Am quite cross that we are just expected to run the gauntlet or make the decision to stand. I dont really want to pick on people to ask them to stand for me as thats pretty embarrassing!

AIBU? Can I just say tho in my currently hormanal state please be gentle if you think I am!!

Thanks for reading my missive! Hope it makes sense!!

"Yeah it's weird isn't it as people are so much more likely to sympathise and help out when you are bigger but that's not always when you need it most."

how exactly is that wierd? people are more likely to help when you are bigger because you are obviously pregnant. you may be in agony at 5 weeks but unless you wear a sign saying you are pregnant, no-one knows that you are er, pregnant!! common sense, no?

I think YABU,

I used to work on the trains and you have no idea how many people take advantage (I'm not suggesting you are) of being pregnant etc.

I have DD and am pg at the moment so I understand it is hard but what you don't see is the people who have paid a first class fare complaining and making (the likes of me) miserable and they do have point even if they are being a pita.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo . . . actually I was talking in general, so including people who know you and know you're pregnant, (or later on when you have a medium sized bump).

YABU I'm afraid.

Sounds like she was on a bit of a power trip about the ticket, if she was aware that you had just filled it in but without seeing her etc then she should accept that your intentions were honourable so not so much about that.

But I think its hugely presumptuous of you to go and sit in first class at 23 weeks pregnant. You were not entitled to do so, nor should you be (and if you were you would be able to apply for a letter like season ticket holders).

There is priority seating set aside for you and you should use it. I'm sick to death of pregnant women complaining that nobody gives them a seat when they dont actually ask. It may be obvious to you that you are pregnant but to other people, its a minefield. Unless you can actually see the head crowning, its never "safe" to assume a woman is pregnant. If you had politely asked if someone in priority would consider giving you a seat and everyone had told you to eff off, then perhaps you would not be unreasonable. But I suspect that you feel your bump is a ticket into first class and it is not. I think you deserve a seat but I think you should stick to the seats you ARE entitled to.

YANBU. Train companies hike up their fares every year way above inflation, there are never enough carriages and seats, services are frequently late... In short, as far as I'm concerned train companies can go and fuck themselves. You are paying this woman's wages so she should bloody well treat you with respect and kindness, especially since you're heavily pregnant.

I think yanbu but I'd be more annoyed at the people sitting watching a pg woman having to stand.

YANBU

you have my sympathy.

That woman was out of order. I am amazed at people saying YABU. Have they never made a mistake.

Hope you feel better.

You should try standing near some of the lucky ones with seats and stick your belly out. Someone usually offers I've found in the past.

YADNBU! - What has happened to feeling for others? Sympathy at least, even the inpector herself hasn't ever been with child.

The inspector probably does deal with a ton of fare dodgers all day but if she has not been met with agression from a passenger then she shouldn't give it out.

RUDE plian and simple.

I always give up my seat for preganat, disabled elderly etc.

Never mind, big hugs and good luck for the pregnancy.

YABU

But I totally sympathise with you. It was a one off mistake and you feel like you've been told off like a naughty school girl. The inspector could have been a little kinder, although to be fair she didn't throw you out of first class, so she was at least a little sympathetic about your situation. For all she knew, you could fail to fill out your ticket most days, but she gave you the benefit of the doubt.

Just forget about it and move on

Well FWIW, when I was in almost exactly your situation, I had managed to get onto the train and get a standard seat on what became a very crowded train. Ticket collector came along - and had to wake me up to check my ticket - and despite seeing it was a day return (I didn't commute often enough to make a season ticket worth it), told me I could move to first class if I'd like a bit more space.

They used to police the 1st class carriage at the London end until the train pulled out and every single time I got on, I was invited into 1st class when all the seats were taken by the ticket inspectors.

I think you got really unlucky.

YABU you didn't fill out your ticket before getting on the train and you got seen - you were let off.

You sat in 1st class even though you didn't have a ticket - you were let off.

I can't believe you complained! It sounds like you were having a bad day, but the inspector was doing her job.

My dh has worked for the railway for the last 20 odd years and he wouldn't sit in 1st class - even with his free travel pass.

I do understand how hard/uncomfy it is travelling when pregnant though and having to stand.

Someone on my train got fined for not filling in their carnet card yesterday. The inspector was saying they came across so many people not filling in their cards.

You were far more in the wrong that the ticket inspector, OP. I'm afraid I see nothing more than her doing her job.

I can't believe you complained about her when she let you off two things you could've been fined for.

I think I would feel bad if I was pregnant and somebody got up and gave me there seat. They were sat their first and I would probably feel so guilty because it wouldn't be fair on them tbh. I definitely wouldn't go on expecting them to move if they were seated. In these cases you have to make sure you get their first in order to ensure you get a seat especially if pregnant etc

If the lady was rude to you I can totally understand how you feel and it would upset me. Where is the customer service ? I think you shouldn't expect first class if you haven't paid for it and yes you could have filled your ticket in before but then the woman should learn some manners on how to deal with customers. Its her job to say it in an appropriate non aggressive manner so she's in the wrong for being rude.

She was right if a little brusque.

She was right, but when I was pregnant with DD and travelled on WAGN trains (which are now FCC) it irked me no end that Pregnant season ticket holders could automatically go in first class and I couldn't . I think that once when the train I was on failed at Finsbury Park and we had to get on another one (which was already full) I just went in first class . Too full for anyone to get on least of all an inspector.

YANBU. I think some posters are not picking up on some important points.

• OP was already filling in the date on the ticket before the inspector arrived, and therefore was not trying to pull a fast one in travelling with a blank ticket.

• The train company stated that if travelling while pregnant without a season ticket, the situation is not cut and dried and inspectors can use their discretion!! This means using a modicum of common sense and empathy, not much in evidence here.

TTC#2 and may well be in the same situation of part-time commuting. I'd write to the train company with a copy of your MATb1 asking them to explain their stance in writing, to the effect that pregnant but season-ticketless passengers are entitled to sit in first class if no other seats available at the discretion of the tickets inspector.

The OP boarded the train with a blank ticket..therefore could have started filling it in the minute she spotted the inspector.

The ticket inspector used her discretion and allowed her to stay in first class despite being a possible fair dodger.

The OP was very lucky to have been let off with both those things so complaining is out of order IMO.

Don't see it mutznutz.

If the inspector was 'rude and aggressive' and didn't know her stuff, the OP is right to complain. Having tried to go through the right channels I don't see why the OP should feel lucky that she wasn't made to stand at 6 months' pregnant!

Fill your ticket date in while you are having your breakfast. Surely you know by then if you are going to work so it won't be wasted. And if you want a guaranteed seat you should pay for first class.