to bank on getting bursary whilst earning £70k?

[Leafysuburbia]

We have enrolled our child at a fabulous pre prep. We could afford the fees at the time but after job changes it just is no longer an option once the 15 free hours nursery provision finishes and DC has to enter Reception.

When I spoke to the head she was non committal but told me that all financial circumstaces are looked at and although salary figure is too high to normally consider bursary that things like excessive mortgage (tick), very high overheads including debt (tick) would all be taken into account. Tbh every month we are struggling, really struggling to save even £450. She also told me that generally once a child has started the school she considered it negative to their education to have to let them go so she would usually recommend a bursary be approved.

Said child has not yet started pre prep.

We have another younger child and my concerns are partly that if we can't afford one we certainly can't afford two.

How many people have managed to get bursaries while earning well in excess of the usual low income expected and has this continued to work when two children are in attendance?

Am I being ridiculous in even trying? Am very concerned as DC1 is considered exceptionally advanced in terms of development (genuine concern please do not flame) and needs a high level of attention/stimulation (no idea about DC2 yet, very very little indeed!). Local state schools said to be good but HUGE class sizes and very oversubscribed, hard to get into.

Anyone? Is it fantasy to start pre prep with no realistic hope of remaining? Or do we really have a hope - is it possible, is it reasonable to consider successfully claiming bursaries?

If you have an excessive mortgage and debts large enough that you can't afford the fees for one child, then you aren't going to be able to afford them for two children.

There is no harm in asking for a bursary but I wouldn't hold your breath.

Maybe look at state schools again and put any spare cash towards home tutoring if DC1 needs it, or reducing your level of debt so that school fees are more affordable when they are older.

Once approved, is the bursary good for the rest of your dcs' time at the school or does it depend on them making the grade (which I assume for dc1 with his/her exceptional development will not be in issue) or renewed yearly.

Is there a possibility that the school having approved the bursary for dc1 will not approve it for dc2?

Personally, it is exceedingly foolish to think of even climbing the financial rockface of private education when you could not afford it for one dc, much less 2. It is a recipe for premature white hairs.

If grammar is an option, then save for tutoring instead whilst using the state school.

Very hard to take this post seriously, I'm afraid.

You have, by nearly all standards, a high income.

If you want to privately educate two children on your income, which is, with some sacrifices, do-able on your income, then you need to make changes - a smaller house, and smaller mortgage, etc etc could leave you with enough disposable income to afford private education. It's up to you to prioritize what's most important to you, and budget accordingly. You certainly have a large enough income to make these choices.

As someone who lives on less than a third of your income for a family of 5, and has not got these sort of financial choices at all, I find it hard to take your problems very seriously.

Don't mean to be rude, but I am being honest about my point of view.

BTW, DS2 is on a full bursary at an independent school, earned through his own merit (he had to pass entrance exams and an interview with the head to get his place.) In order to get a full bursary place at his school you need a total household income of less than £19000 a year, a requirement we meet, sadly. I'd consider £70000 pretty well off!

I think the head may have been trying to let you down politely. If still in nursery, your DC has barely entered the school and there may well be higher priority calls on the bursary pot.

I suggest you start looking now at options for other schools. If you can find one you like in the state sector (or just a cheaper private one), then you can take a few years to rebuild your family finances and look again, perhaps, at re-entering at 7+.

It's a fantasy and I know because I have done it and in fact am about to remove my 6 year old DD from her prep dspite having a bursary and the promise of more help for DD2.

The reasons I would not reccomend it are as follows.

Bursary's are review regularly and I have been living in fear of losing ours...I feel pressure that DD does well academically ALL the time...not fair on her.

When secondary school begins I will possibly never manage fees for 2 DC and so they may have to go to local secondary and won't know a soul as their mates will all be off to private schools.

We feel crap that DD comes home asking why never go skiing...and why she cannot go on some hideously overpriced extra scince course they run after school.

I never thought this kind of peer thing would bother me but tis' hard to see DD think she is missing out.

She's going to go to a very nice village school and we are rejoycing at the freedom from stress...she can now have riding lessons and we can eat go on holiday.

We are saving for secondary incase one of them turns out very academic and an win a part scolarship...we plan on tutors.

Blueshoes: scholarships are usually offered likenthat, subject to good conduct and effort. Means-tested bursaries are almost invariably reassessed annually and could be reduced/withdrawn depending on changes to family finances and health of the bursary funds.

OP, you're havin a laaarrrff.

Best lesson you can give your DC is to manage your finances better and make sound decisions based on the facts at the time.
Fact one..you are saying you can't afford it.
therefore, you can't afford it.
Don't committ to something you'll kick yourself for in the future when you can't meet the needs.
Fee's are one thing, then it's the uniform, lunch fee's, transport costs (possibly), trips and if anything like my DC1 school money for 'this fundraising' money for 'that fundraising.
Well done on just about being able to save more than I take home in a month.

If DS has lot's of needs re. stimulation then get him into Kumon or similar...support his learning....clubs and sports allhelp round a child out.

Tbh having been there and done it, the only advantage I can see are opporunities for lots of drama and similar...a good state primary can offer the same especially if you pay for outside clubs. We're looking foward to a healthier social mix for DD...

Wow! £70k, £4k a month, I know people who earn a third of that and manage fine.

Besides, state schools are fine if you put a little extra work in at the end of the day. Spend one on one learning time with the LO and it will make all the difference. My partner is a teacher in a state school, I went to private school and my children will attend state school as I see no difference as long as the parent pays a little extra attention, and maybe signs the LO up for after school activities the school might not provide.

I know I shouldn't say this, but why should it have become completely acceptable to assume that you have to supplement state education by teaching them yourself?

If I went to have surgery, and was expected to do the stitching, etc, after the operation, I'd be nonplussed. And worried for those who were, perhaps, not capable of doing that stitching themselves.

I say this as someone with dc in the state system. I am just rather surprised by how this has become an acceptable statement to make.

"Tbh every month we are struggling, really struggling to save even £450"

Have you ever been in the position where you're working 3 days a week for £6 an hour, totalling £576 pre-tax, £432 after tax for all household expenses in addition to what your £6 an hour husband, who works 42 hrs a week on average, earns?

How the FUCK could someone have the cheek to post "struggling to save even £450" on here?

Have you any fucking idea what a normal family, with 2 able-bodied working parents, has to survive on?

I can't even be bothered to respond to the OP's post, tbh, after reading shite like that.

OP, you are something else.

at Animula!

It's like KNOWING that when you go to get your childs braces fitted that you'll have to adjust them and remove them yourself.

Or giving birth and having to do your own stitches.

@Animula

I totally get what you are saying, the problem is that lack of funding means large class numbers and subsequently less one on one time with the teachers. My DP finds this incredibly frustrating as it does make it harder for him to help the children who need it the most as he is spread so thin, but he does his best (the new cuts are going to make this situation even worse now though). But one thing that helps greatly is if parents spend at least one hour a night reading with thier children or doing some sort of educational activity. The difference it makes to the childs development is significant. You would be surprised the amount of parents who make no effort at all with thier childrens education. But surely just because a state education is provided does not mean parents should make no effort??? Teachers can only do so much after all. And it is a great way to spend time with your children while educating them in my opinion.

I hope I dont sound hollier than thou BTW lol!

LDNMummy - I get that. I know that. And I know that that is the reality of the situation.

But it really isn't right, and I am saddened (yes, really) that we don't experience a shock every time we think about it.

I think it's sad that my dc are at an advantage, because we can teach them at home, and put the hours in, and English is our first language, and that, implicitly, that advantageous differential will not be ironed out by the state education system.

We really should be quite shocked by that. Not simply saying, well, it's a parent's job ... .

It may well be good parenting, but what it shouldn't be is an advantage. It's sad that it has been translated thuswards.

And let's face it, you're not, really, talking about reading for an hour at night, but a whole range of other supplements.

Back to the OP - I think bursaries for primary are rare. Secondary it tends to be 50K or lower.

Yes...animula..we earn a LOT less than the OP and were only offered half fees.

hahaha this is toootally the thread that other thread is about, isn't it... oh lordy.

is it terribly rude of me to ask what sort of job you do? i always wonder what kind of job pays seventy thousand a ,im chufffed because my hourly rate has gone up to eight pounds.

send your ds to state school if he is that clever he will be fine anyway and you wont have to worry about the money it will cost to send him to private school , plus if he had a tutor that would help too.

state school????? are you INSANE?

I think you should take a really long, hard look at your finances and see what you can trim from your monthly expenses. If there's really nothing you can trim then I think you need to try the oversubscribed but good local state schools. However, I bet there's plenty you could trim if you set your mind to it though. Food and household products can usually be trimmed a lot with careful attention to meal planning and canny shopping, lunches can be made instead of bought out, things like jewellery that you don't need or clothes you don't wear any more can be sold. Perhaps you could renegotiate your debt? Your job situation may improve.

I don't think school makes any difference at all to children whose parents are putting in an effort with reading and providing exposure to learning opportunities until about age 8. At that point a school can make a big difference in a child's chances. But up to then, imo, it's all about what sort of environment and encouragement and experiences a parent can provide.

I live on less than 450 a month.