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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Am i the parent of my own child

64 replies

GinormousJase · 15/01/2011 23:22

Hi there

I dont know if this is a normal thing that most new parents have to deal with or if its something which is abit wierd, but either way I'm having problems dealing withit and would like to hear other peoples thoughts on the subject. It's getting to the stage where I hate visiting my parents because of it.Any advice would be fantastic.

I'm rather new to being a parent, my 1 and only child is 2 years old. Ive spoken to alot of my friends and they all say the same thing, my parents will always try and take over because they know best having done it before.

My problem is my parents constently, and I mean like all the time refer to themselves as mummy and daddy and to me and my partner as nanny and grandad. Its like all the time. My little girl seems to know who's who, and dosent really seem to be affected by it, although there has been the odd occasion where she's been alittle confused.

I've spoken to my parents about it, and apart from causing arguements and ill fealing, they deny doing it and tell me im wrong, now and then they'll tell me its hard when you've had kids of your own its hard to get used to. The fact that my little girl is now 2 years old i feal they've had plenty of time to get used to it.

I cant understand how this can be, I mean if its not your child, how can this mistake be made. From the people I've spoken to, none of them have ever encounterd this.

It's getting really hard for me to deal with now and I just dont know what to do or say. Is it me just being silly, has anybody else had to deal with this. are they still going to be calling themselves mummy and daddy when shes 16?

Id love to hear anybodys thoughts or experiances on this matter. Thanks alot for listening.

OP posts:

charliesmommy · 15/01/2011 23:24

but they arent her Mummy and Daddy.... YOU are...

or am I totally misunderstanding this post... lol!!!

QuoththeRaven · 15/01/2011 23:25

thats a bit... bizarre actually.

next time it happens, just say "oh nanny is getting confused, im your mummy" and laugh it off.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 15/01/2011 23:27

your parents sound very strange. why do you let them do that???

AgentZigzag · 15/01/2011 23:27

I think you're going to have to toughen up those boundaries with your parents.

I know what you mean as my mum was the same with my DD1, although not to the extreme you're describing.

You're not being stupid, or wrong, and they don't know better than you.

kaymondo · 15/01/2011 23:27

hmm, i can kind of get that they might accidently call themselves mummy and daddy because they're used to referring to themselves as such because they've had kinds, but referring to you and your partner as nanny and grandad is just plain weird - and any such confusion is odd after 2 years!

BluddyMoFo · 15/01/2011 23:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pinkyp · 15/01/2011 23:30

My dad has sometimes said to my ds..go see your mummy, then corrected himself and said oh i mean your grandma.SO it does happen but he hardly ever does this just occasionally. I've NEVER been called grandma tho! I cant see why they would call you grandma? Fair enough calling each other mummy and daddy by mistake but i imagine they've never called your nana before you had your dc? Surely they'd call you buy your name by accident?

ThreeIsEnoughForMe · 15/01/2011 23:30

Thats really odd tbh!! Why on earth would they call YOU and your dp nanny and grandad?? You are just going to have to pull them up on it every single time they do it, then they wont be able to deny it. Its silly carry on and will just confuse your dd and annoy the hell out of you if you let it go on!

dearprudence · 15/01/2011 23:31

Yep, they are weird. No, this is not normal.

Sossiges · 15/01/2011 23:31

Are they Froot Loops? Or are they doing it on purpose to wind you up? Either way, if it were/was me/I, I'd tell them to go their own way. Life's too short.

Sossiges · 15/01/2011 23:36

They're freaking ME out. I'm coming over all goosepimply.

Original poster

GinormousJase · 15/01/2011 23:40

Thanks for the replys so late at night. It is wierd, really wierd. Its not now and then either, its like all the time, and I dont think I'm blowing it out of proportion like they so. Ok they do have my Great Grandad living with them, so that kinda throws in a curve ball, but after 2 years, hell after 2 days I just cant understand it, I've pulled them up on it loads of times, just causes arguements that I can do without.

I'll pull them up on it more, but that didnt work last time, infact we didnt speak for a couple of weeks because they didnt accept they were doing it, they even looked at each other and laughed.

They seem to think if they get it right a few times the few times they get it wrong wont hurt. But it does, deeply.

OP posts:

antlerqueen · 15/01/2011 23:41

I remember when i was young (3-4-5 or so i think) - my parents lived with my mom's parents and my granny always used to say that i was her baby. I remember feeling bad/guilty somehow hearing it in front of my mum.

I would just do what QuoththeRaven said and call them up on it politely everytime they do that and say they just made a mistake, etc.

BluddyMoFo · 15/01/2011 23:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kewcumber · 15/01/2011 23:44

I would say to your DD everytime they do it "Ho ho ho, Nnay/grandad is getting a bit senile and thinks they are your mummy/daddy. Aren;t they FUNNY!" And laugh merrily and loudly.

You will sound every bit as odd as they are being but if it doesn;t stop them then they need to see a good psychiatrist.

Sossiges · 15/01/2011 23:47

PMSL at Kewcumber

AgentZigzag · 15/01/2011 23:47

Is it creepy to suggest recording them on your phone to play back to them if they don't believe you?

shitmonster · 15/01/2011 23:48

This is seriously weird. Could you possibly record them interacting with your DD so that they can see how many times they refer to themselves as Mummy and Daddy?
At least it would validate your concerns.

charliesmommy · 15/01/2011 23:50

Are they both quite normal otherwise? because I would be worrying they had some sort of dementia to be honest. It just doesnt make sense.. at all.

chitchatinsantasear · 15/01/2011 23:51

How would they react if you start calling them by their actual name? Walk in and say 'Hi Martha and Fred, how are you?'. If they get upset, then tell them that as they are getting so confused between who is mummy and daddy and who is grandma and grandpa then until they sort it out you'll call them by their real names to avoid confusion!!

HerBeatitude · 15/01/2011 23:53

I would go the kewcumber route and either take the piss out of them and say they're going senile, or pretend to be really concerned.

"Mum - you called yourself mummy again. Have you thought of going to see a doctor about your memory problems? and Dad should see one too, you said he left the key in the door, you know you can get support if your memory is declining, don't you?"

And then every time they do it, put a really concerned patronising annoying look on your face.

Shodan · 15/01/2011 23:58

Do what Kewcumber says and back it up with badges.

You get 'DD's MUMMY'.

They get 'DD's NANNY' and 'DD's GRANDAD'. Hand them over with a sweet smile and say 'You seem to need reminding so I thought these would help'.

PatPending · 15/01/2011 23:59

I could understand the odd "slip" - e.g calling one another "Mummy or "Daddy" (well actually I can't as we are grandparents and have never, ever done that) but to "accidentally" refer to you as Grandparents??!!

Very bizarre - and:
"they even looked at each other and laughed"

Weird ...... I mean really weird.

Back off from them OP .... this is not right.

MsKLo · 16/01/2011 00:00

What the fuck?!

You are spooking NOT being unreasonable! How fucking disrespectful and stupid if them to do this! I raging for you! I could not see them - that would drive me mad! Maybe you should show them
This thread! I wish I had some answers for you but they obviously don't give a shit as they keep doing it! Do they try and take over the patenting side too?

You poor woman!

MsKLo · 16/01/2011 00:02

I agree about backing off from them

Tell them that if they don't stop this stupid behaviour you will be left with no choice but to not see them

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