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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think HV are a bit of a waste of space?

68 replies

kaymondo · 15/01/2011 22:44

Just wondering what other people's experiences have been as I have found the ones in my area extremely unsupportive and not particularly knowledgable when i ask them for advice on certain topics.

As an example, despite DS being perfectly healthy and happy, HV has been telling me he is not putting enough weight on because he has dropped from the 91st percentile line (he was v big born as 2 weeks overdue) to the 50th. He has now been tracking the 50th line for about 4 months. He is exclusively breastfed and i feed on demand but was made to feel so insecure about it that i almost stopped feeding him myself. Only didn't because i had to see the consultant peadiatrician (sp?) due to an unrelated issue (reaction to jabs) and i mentioned to him that the HV had been monitoring his weight - he basically laughed at it and said that ds was absolutely perfect. Next time i saw HV she said still worried about weight, i told her what the consultant had said and she still said it was an issue Saw her this week and starting discussing weaning - have just started DS on solids at 5.5months and she was completely clueless when i was asking some questions about BLW and basically was implying i should have started on solids ages ago (which i know is a hot topic this week, but this was before that hit the headlines and i thought i was doing the right thing by holding off and didn't get to 6 months anyway!)

Not sure if its just our area but i always go in feeling tense and come out feeling rubbish. I'm a fairly strong minded person so, despite a few wobbles, i carried on bf'ing and am happy that i started ds on solids at the right time for him, but i do worry that other people in my position may have stopped bf'ing due to unsupportive attitudes, or been pushed into starting solids early.

I'm genuinely interested to see if my experience is typical or whether others have had a better experience.

OP posts:

NW20 · 15/01/2011 22:47

Nope. Every one I have come across is completely useless, not willing to make any kind of committed answer to anything, just sits on the fence. Very unhelpful.

What do you actually need to be qualified in to be a HV?? I could give the vague and non-specific advice they dole out.

curlymama · 15/01/2011 22:49

I think, as with any profession, there are good and bad. Mine was lovley when I had ds1, but the one that was around by the time I had ds2 was next to useless. I felt lucky that I'd been blessed with a lovely HV for my first, which was when I needed her advice the most.

It seems from lots of stories I've heard though, that on the whole they are not great. Maybe it's a training issue.

cece · 15/01/2011 22:49

I find this is often the case too. Obviously there are exceptions...

Beamur · 15/01/2011 22:50

Mine was great. Caring, sympathetic and knowledgeable.

PartialToACupOfMilo · 15/01/2011 22:55

I agree there are good and bad, mine were on the whole pretty good, but I got a bit miffed when they ticked the no longer breastfeeding at dd's one year check, although I am still feeding her morning and night. Think as dh took her they assumed I couldn't be, not that they should be assuming anything. And also during one appointment (again with dh - maybe it's him that's the problem... ) he mentioned that we had just stopped changing dd's nappy on the chest of drawers as she rolled a bit one time and came close to falling. In the notes they wrote 'discussion regarding safety'. I was so cross, dh was telling them we'd made a descision about how we changed her based on keeping her and it read like he'd put her into some kind of danger

Other than that though all good

1gglePiggle · 15/01/2011 22:57

I'm sure there are some good ones out there. However the ones I have come across have very outdated advice and have basically made me feel like crap and a failure.

I don't bother going anymore.

MsSparkle · 15/01/2011 22:58

My HV would have been the last person i would have gone to tbh. If i was unsure or worried i would talk to friends with kids or MN or look it up on google.

I cannot stand my HV, especially after she was just about to give my ds (who went in for his 2nd jabs) a 2nd dose of his 1st jabs.

She had the needle in her hand and said "so this is his first jabs then?" Then me saying "NO! Second!"

"Oh" she says whilst looking blankly at my baby who was massive for a 3 month old baby so how she could have thought he was 2 months was beyond me!

Original poster

kaymondo · 15/01/2011 22:58

1 try to prevent dh from having contact with them after their initial visit to the house when they asked us both about our childhoods. I said mine was good, dh said his was great. Cue long discussion as to why mine was only good and not great like his

OP posts:

nowanewme · 15/01/2011 23:01

Some were great, others were useless. I found the whole processes soooooo stressfull (as a bit like forest gump said- you never know which one you are gonna get) I stopped going. Its been about a year now and no idea what centile DD is on. She looks healthy, is hitting and exceeding most of her milestones and climbs better than any mountineer I have ever known so I assume shes doing pretty well.

allnightlong · 15/01/2011 23:03

YANBU it like the have to find something wrong or give 'advice' on something even if you and your DC are 100% perfect.
I've refused to have anything to do with mine since DC1 was first born, they aren't compulsory.

SmellsLikeTeenStrop · 15/01/2011 23:05

I think it's a little unfair to make sweeping statements about a whole professional body based purely on your experiences with one member. Just sayin'.

I have four children and I've experienced health visitors who are very good and capable - the one I have now for DS2 fits that description. The HV I was assigned when I had DC1 was absolutely pants. I've also had good GPs and bad ones, good teachers and bad ones, so there you go.

mitochondria · 15/01/2011 23:06

Mine wasn't particularly helpful.

I went to see her with a baby who sicked up all day every day. Could it be reflux, I asked?

Oh no, "all babies are a bit sicky" apparently.

I chuckled wryly through my vomit-covered exterior at her next helpful suggestion "have you tried changing his milk?"

(I was breastfeeding, couldn't see how that could easily be achieved).

Then after weighing she spotted cloth nappy "oooh, don't see many of those these days. They must be an awful lot of extra work for you"

Second baby, I didn't go much.

AllSheepareWhite · 15/01/2011 23:07

Haven't been since DD was 8 weeks old, I don't see the point, have a fantastic GP if I need a medical opinion and family who can give me sounder advice if I have any other questions about food, sleep etc...

Original poster

kaymondo · 15/01/2011 23:08

allnightlong - i completely agree, they are def looking for something they can 'fix'.
hadn't thought about just not going, been a good little conformer so far, but def something to think about as i get nothing but stress out of it.

OP posts:

Mists · 15/01/2011 23:11

They are very valuable as a sort of scientific control but you would make their heads spin if you told them that.

For example, if the HV thinks it's all fine then chances are you need to see a developmental Paed.

Case in point, I was worried that amongst other red flags for autism my DS wasn't great at eye-contact. The HV that day who had eyes going in complete opposite directions was allowed to assess him as having no problems! That slowed down the dx a bit.

There are very many great HV and on MN several. Fantastic HVs. But the majority need to be smiled and nodded at and given the Red Book to fill in. It keeps them off the streets.

allnightlong · 15/01/2011 23:17

Kay It's just seen as the normal thing to do most people don't even consider it an option. If I hadn't been a nanny before DC (so came into contact with a wide range of them)I might have gone along to them too but since I know how hit and miss they are I knew I'd be better off without them.
If I need support I have MN and my family and my own expereince. If I need medical advice I'd rather my DC see a doctor.

DH was a bit paranoid at first that Social services would swoop down and do a check on us, but I pointed that was unlikly they'd have no grounds to justify it and they worse issues to deal with than non attendance to see a HV. Even if they did we have nothing to hide!
DD is 4, DS 7 months so I think we're safe from 'spot checks'

susiey · 15/01/2011 23:22

I tend to avoid them at all costs,the ones I have now aren't bad really they all seem ok one said in a hopeful tone when I went for daughters (DC3) 8 week check you should probably come and get her weighed I just laughed and said I probably wouldn't as long as she was getting heavier and growing !

when I had DC1 that practice were particularily bad at finding something to make me worry about when clearly my daughter was fine and that was just with minimum contact jabs and 1 year and 2 year checks.

I moved area and this lot seem a lot more sensible!

AimingForSerenity · 15/01/2011 23:30

I gave up mine (albeit many years back now)when in a discussion about weaning and how to modify recipes to make them baby-safe i.e. no cows milk, etc she suggested making macaroni cheese with formula milk(?!) When I pointed out that cheese was a dairy product she told me it wasn't, it was a protein and she clearly had no idea it was made from milk. At which point I thought and never went back!

CrystalQueen · 15/01/2011 23:44

YABU to tar all HV with the same brush. There are good HV and bad, like every job. On MN the HV tales are a bit like the childbirth ones - no-one posts to recount their straightforward births do they?

For the record the HV I have seen have been entirely normal and competent. No-one has tried to tell me to wean at 12 weeks, do CC at 2 weeks or anything else. In fact here the drop-in baby weighing clinics have been withdrawn so the HV can concentrate on the families with problems - there's no expectation to get a healthy baby weighed every week. If you think you're better informed than the HV, ignore her.

DancingThroughLife · 15/01/2011 23:52

Well, the ones I've seen are fantastic, so YAB a teeny bit U. BUT, if yours are rubbish then I can see why you'd think they all were.

My HVs have been brilliant with all DDs weigh ins - she's steadily dropped from the 91st centile to almost the 25th in 7 months, EBF until we started BLW (on their advice at 6 months). They haven't once encouraged me to top up with formula, or in any way make me think that my milk isn't enough for her.

I saw one last week for DDs weight, and apparently they've been told that the NHS officially encourage BLW now, rather than pressuring into purees etc before you/DC are ready.

AlmightyCitrus · 16/01/2011 00:07

My first one was lovely. I never really felt the need to ask her anything. I think she just popped in for a chat.

Second one, can't remember. Only saw her very briefly a couple times.

Third one. Told her to leave and not come back after about 5 minutes. Made a right arse of the heel prick test, then started asking stupid patronising questions.

I saw her a couple more times when DS went for his jabs. First time she approached me, all smiles till I told her to go away, second time I just shot her my best "bugger off and leave me alone" look and she did.

I still have the letter she sent, begging me to let her come back, and how important she should be to me. I read it when I fancy a laugh!

AngelHMum · 16/01/2011 00:16

I am glad I'm not the only one who has encountered not so good health visitors.
All of my 4 DCs have been premature and I had the same health visitor with them all.

She had an obsession with PND and was terribly disappointed each time when I didn't develop it.

I am sure there are some very good HV's out there providing support, advice and help for mums who need it.

Sadly mine wasn't one of them - I always thought she was the one who needed medication not me !!

CountBapula · 16/01/2011 00:23

Mine told me to do CC on DS at 14 weeks :(

germum · 16/01/2011 00:25

I know someone that used to be a HV and even she says they are a waste of space!

Pointless job IMO.

GetOrfMoiLand · 16/01/2011 00:27

I am sure there are lots of wonderful HVs out there, I have seen on similar threads people singing their praises.

However when dd was a baby the HVs seemed certifiable and I never bothered going to clinic.

Tbh I do not see the point of them as a pfofession at all. I don't see why so much money is spent on the HV service.

When I have another baby I will certainly not bother with them.

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