to think HV are a bit of a waste of space?

[kaymondo]

Just wondering what other people's experiences have been as I have found the ones in my area extremely unsupportive and not particularly knowledgable when i ask them for advice on certain topics.

As an example, despite DS being perfectly healthy and happy, HV has been telling me he is not putting enough weight on because he has dropped from the 91st percentile line (he was v big born as 2 weeks overdue) to the 50th. He has now been tracking the 50th line for about 4 months. He is exclusively breastfed and i feed on demand but was made to feel so insecure about it that i almost stopped feeding him myself. Only didn't because i had to see the consultant peadiatrician (sp?) due to an unrelated issue (reaction to jabs) and i mentioned to him that the HV had been monitoring his weight - he basically laughed at it and said that ds was absolutely perfect. Next time i saw HV she said still worried about weight, i told her what the consultant had said and she still said it was an issue Saw her this week and starting discussing weaning - have just started DS on solids at 5.5months and she was completely clueless when i was asking some questions about BLW and basically was implying i should have started on solids ages ago (which i know is a hot topic this week, but this was before that hit the headlines and i thought i was doing the right thing by holding off and didn't get to 6 months anyway!)

Not sure if its just our area but i always go in feeling tense and come out feeling rubbish. I'm a fairly strong minded person so, despite a few wobbles, i carried on bf'ing and am happy that i started ds on solids at the right time for him, but i do worry that other people in my position may have stopped bf'ing due to unsupportive attitudes, or been pushed into starting solids early.

I'm genuinely interested to see if my experience is typical or whether others have had a better experience.

I had to ask a HV to leave. My DD was 2 months prem and was only 3lb 12 when she left the SCBU so I had a hospital nurse come everyday for a week - had no probs as she was my 2nd prem DC but the HV wouldn't prescribe my DD a certain cream for her dry skin (result of being prem) unless I bought a certain washing powder !!
Never saw her or any other HV again.

My first HV was lovely to chat to.
Until I asked her to wash her hands before picking up my ds. Her hands were filthy, and she sighed and said how much work keeping chickens was! I nearly died at the thought of all that chicken crap coming into close contact with a sick baby.
She wouldn't wash her hands, so I asked her to leave. Cue almost daily visits from her colleague who tried to convince me that I had PND. This colleague regularly checked in to see if I was cleaning too much as that was a sign of PND!

My HV really, really pissed me off. First visit after DTs came out of hospital, she was examining them and noted that M has large ish birth mark on one bottom cheek (so cute ) 'oh, we better make a note of that before someone thinks it's a bruise' wtf?

BTW, check which weight charts they are using as the ones for breast fed and formula fed are different. BF DCs grow steadily but more slowly and this causes those with limited capacity for thought to announce that your child isn't growing properly, upsetting an already stressed new mum (me) even further. Also, consider showing thm a picture of your childs father when they grouse about weight gain. DS got longer and longer but rarely fatter and in vain did I explain to the wretched woman that ALL of DH's family are built like racing snakes! A colleague whose husband is about 5'1'' and who is only 5' was told that her child was "too small.

Feel like I should stand up for the HV here.

I've had two HV's (the first retired when DD was 4 months) and they were both fab! My current one has been the best support I could have asked for during my period of PND, and I could honestly say she is worth her weight in gold. I'm sad that other people haven't had the same expereince as me, but feel that sweeping statements along the lines of 'they are all useless' is a shame. There are plenty of crap teachers/nurses/admin staff etc etc, I wouldn't let a couple of bad ones put me off.

Thanks for all your posts - its interesting to hear that my experience isn't that unusual although i absolutely accept that there are good hv's out there too, as with any profession. Just keeping my fingers crossed i get one with my next dc! For now i'm going to steer clear as much as poss!

Hopelesslydisorganised, I wish you were our HV. Ours is useless: if we didn't want to check DS's weight every so often we wouldn't go near her. I wouldn't actually ask her anything if I had any concerns, because I wouldn't trust the answers. She's obsessed with whether I've got enough milk: since I've told her at every visit that DS is EBF, and he's obviously healthy and gaining weight, the answer should be pretty damn obvious, but apparently not to her.

Plus she totally ignores DH (who is usually the one wrestling DS in and out of his clothes, changing the nappy if needed etc) and addresses everything to me (even though she knows perfectly well that I'm only around during my maternity leave and shortly DH will be the main carer). She also, more seriously, totally ignores DS: he could be covered in bruises and she wouldn't notice provided his weight was going up.

They're only there to snoop around and see if they need to involve social services. Mine was bloody irritating

Mine were/are nice, but I get better info off the internet. They can't do anything, i.e.: I asked them to feel the back of DD's head to see if they thought it was still flat, but I have to see a doctor for that apparently. Every other opinion or piece of advice has been NHS guidelines, which I can get myself.

I find HV's nice enough but useless.
Pointless job, although i suppose they keep worried new parents from clogging up appointments at the doctors.

If he's been tracking on the 50th for 4 months most paediatricians would sign you off anyway. The most important thing is that they find a level and grow on it uniformly eventually, wherever it is. He is growing, that's the most important thing!

DS2 dropped from the 75th to the 0.2nd before our kind, patient, trusting HV referred him! Honestly, if she hadn't been so lovely and all we'd have been up that hospital much earlier. She just managed to look beyond the charts and really looked at him and saw he was a really happy, sociable child who was just, well, skinny. She even apologised when she made the eventual referral (by which point even I was starting to get a bit concerned!)

Smile sweetly at the gorgons, say yes yes and then go do your own thing!

Mine have been lovely. One came to visit a couple of times when DD was tiny and I wasn't very mobile. When she offered to come back after the first visit as I couldn't get to the baby clinic she said "I'll write down that I'm coming back in your baby book, but I don't see any reason to write in a reason, it really isn't anyone's business". I also spoke to one on the phone when I had a complete PFB moment about nappy rash and was really reassured - I think that was better than using up a GP appointment and for basic baby advice I think they might know more than a GP (though from the sounds of it not all of them do). I'm glad they are there, but haven't seen one since DD was about 6 weeks old.

I understand why they do it but calling me "Mum" and not my name is something that a lot of them do and that winds me up a bit.

Only about two out of about 15 over the years were confident about breastfeeding, the rest were clearly nervous at my hamfisted efforts and were gagging to get my babies onto formula during the weight dip after birth - a VERY large factor in giving up BFing by 3 months in both children's case.

One in particular was spectacular though - so reassuring and lovely and beautiful and I wanted her to be my mummy.

All the HVs I've come across have been a nightmare. They are useless when you need advice but when everything's fine they invent problems then foist unwanted wisdom upon you. IME anyway.

I was obviously lucky.

My HV was the type who said different babies suit different methods. Mummies have different ways... She was quiet and positive.

She supported me when I battled breastfeeding for 2 months failing dreadfully. She supported me when I went onto formula. In fact she was utterly solid gold then -her opinion I'll never know cos' she made no judgement on me. She just helped and kept returning to check on us. I had no family and in a new area with my first child and she was the smiley huggy person who helped me meet other mum's. I needed her.

My second child - well she played a blinder there too. Whilst the Dr's at the surgery thought I was a moaning minnie at the health of my 1 yr old for several months... One phone call to her and she was straight in the surgery informing them of her ideas of a diagnosis, that I wasn't a crazed mummy and got us appointments at the Children's hospital.

She's moved areas. Lucky them. The mummies in the area I live have nothing but praise for her.

I've seen two HVs regularly since DD1 was born, one (my allocated HV) comes to visit, is always 30+ minutes late, and sits and lectures me/drones through her script and has been no use whatsoever, and one who I see at the clinic, who is lovely and very helpful.

The useless HV left a message on my phone last week saying she was coming to visit next week, with the option to rearrange if it wasn't convenient, but no question of whether I had a choice about the appointment. Thanks to this thread I've been brave enough to call and say thanks but no thanks, I have no concerns about DD2 (3 months) so won't be needing the visit :). Saved myself a good hour or so of pointlessness.

Lovely and friendly and listened to me crying but was useless when it came to any other area. Failed to help me diagnose DS1 silent reflux, failed to diagnose DD2's reflux, lactose intolerance and dislocated hip! To me dislocated hips, reflux and symptoms of this should be their "bread and butter" but sadly no!

Mine was shite. I had twins delivered at 36 weeks. They put on weight faster then her fucking graph said they should. She told me I was over feeding them. She was the stupidest fucking idiot as she couldn't see that a graph from singleton baby data wasn't really likely to be applicable to twins who nearly always end up playing catch up after birth. Quite honestly I needed the extra stress of her input at that time like I needed a hole in the head. She was a very stupid woman.