Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my lot are the most ungrateful wretches I will ever come across in my entire life?

36 replies

lastresort · 15/01/2011 18:31

took DS1 and DD swimming today as a treat, co with DD2 it can be difficult.
Anyway after hour and half in cold pool I said 5 mins then we have to go. All hell breaks out and I basically have to drag them back to changing rooms whilst being told am worst mother in world.
Sulking in the car I informed them that as it was Saturday we would get a takeaway. One chose pizza, moaned cos not big enough, one chose spag bol, refused to eat cos it smelt funny, and DH complained that his kebab should have been on Naan bread not Pitta. Oh and as usual, DS2 just repeated his usual reply of 'don't like it, disgusting'.
So I had to start cooking after forking out £15.00 for takeaways that nobody wanted to eat.
Am I being a mug here or what?

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 15/01/2011 18:32

I wouldn't have cooked ,so yes you are a mug Grin

belgo · 15/01/2011 18:33

Sorry but you are being a mug. No way would I freeze in a pool for an hour and a half. $% mins. max. and they get a five minute warning, if they don't comply, they don't go swimming again for a very long time.

No way would I cook after 15 pounds on takeaway! How many takeawys did you go to - pizza, speg bol, kebab all in the same takeaway?

celtiethree · 15/01/2011 18:33

Yanbu. Who would expect kebab on nan!

eviscerateyourmemory · 15/01/2011 18:34

I wouldn't have cooked either. Sounds like you have had a difficult day.

belgo · 15/01/2011 18:34

That should be 45 mins max.

valiumredhead · 15/01/2011 18:34

You are being a mug Grin

PorkChopSter · 15/01/2011 18:36

Possibly. But there is a huge element of Managing Expectations here too. If I were to get to do an activity of my choice for 90 mins followed by a meal of my choice that I hadn't cooked or shopped for = brilliant.
For everyone else? It doesn't have the same emotion/expectancy. They don't care in the same way & it doesn't mean as much.

At least that's what I tell myself Grin

ssd · 15/01/2011 18:37

you're not a mug, you're only human doing your best

xstitch · 15/01/2011 18:40

Don't cook, you have provided a meal and they refused to eat it.

harecare · 15/01/2011 18:45

Clearly going to the swimming pool doesn't make them happy so that'll be the last time. Takeaways don't make them happy, so that'll save some cash.
Excellent!
You now no longer have to freeze for an hour and a half in the pool or fork out for takeaways - until they beg you!

If getting treats makes them grumpy, that's just fine, you'll please yourself from now on and perhaps they'll start to try and please you.

TheCrackFox · 15/01/2011 18:45

Hmmm, I would have made DH cook it whilst I had a bath.

Original poster
lastresort · 15/01/2011 18:58

I don't think IABU in expecting SOME kind of gratitude from them, am I?
I did not go swimming to please myself, it was for their benifit.
The takeaway WAS supposed to be my treat as it would mean I could have some form of weekend R&R and not have to cook. That was obviously a big mistake. I did have to cook and the aggro it all caused has stressed me out more than not cooking, IYSWIM.

Would be nice if someone said thankyou....just for once.

OP posts:
alemci · 15/01/2011 19:00

how old are they. i do understand how you feel having ungrateful teenagers myself.

MsKLo · 15/01/2011 19:05

Agree with ssd

It would be easy to say you are a mug but we are all mugs when it comes to our little monsters darlings

FabbyChic · 15/01/2011 19:07

I would not have bought so many different takeaways, I'd have said McDonalds/Burger King/Pizza hut not dif ones for dif kids.

If they did not eat that then they weren't hungry so I'd not have cooked.

Original poster
lastresort · 15/01/2011 19:12

My little darlings are not teenagers they are 9 and 4

OP posts:
tinkerbellgotpan · 15/01/2011 19:15

Not a mug no!But a really lovely mum and wife!
For what it's worth I felt really bad for you and peed of with your not so DH in this case.
I personally think he could do with a swift kick up the .How would he feel if it had been the other way around?I agree with what others have posted if so greatly unappreciated don't do it again.Instead leave DH and DC to sort out they're own weekend and go and do something really lovely just for you!Might make them think twice.Hope you enjoy the rest of the weekend.:)

mummyshreddingnora · 15/01/2011 19:16

wow - after a tantrum in the pool there is no way I would be saying right lets get a takeaway!

YANBU - but you are being a mug

clam · 15/01/2011 19:16

"I had to start cooking" No, you didn't. You chose to. I'd have given them toast, maximum.
So, I hope you've laid it on the line that you will not be taking them swimming again, or for any sort of takeaway, until they learn to appreciate such treats. And stick to it!

Original poster
lastresort · 15/01/2011 19:23

So wanted today to be a nice family let's do something different' day.
Al it has done is make me feel really sad that my family are so spoilt and selfishSad

OP posts:
crisptart · 15/01/2011 19:29

You started cooking after buying all that take away?! Yes you are being a mug and a big one at that!

Original poster
lastresort · 15/01/2011 19:34

Have just had to sep DS1 and DD as fighting again. Also told them both to clear up their rooms.
Whilst doing this DH just relaxing on sofa.
Am fed up with being taken for granted by kids who trash all their stuff and expect me to clear it up, and a DH who does bugger all to help. Angrynow, very Angry

OP posts:
MadamDeathstare · 15/01/2011 19:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ilythia · 15/01/2011 19:42

I agree with the others that have said no more swimming, no more takeaways. AT 9 they can start to cook for themselves anyway.
And DH should be backing you up, why didn't he cook if you were at the pool?

Much sympathy though. I hate it when you plan for something and they cock it all up.

Original poster
lastresort · 15/01/2011 20:35

TBH have reached end of tether with DH which is why I have posted on legal stuff to see what financial help I could get from social if (when) I leave him.

We , that is me and kids, will see nothing of him at weekends until football season is over. Then he will be all over us wanting to do the big family day out every saturday.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread