To think my lot are the most ungrateful wretches I will ever come across in my entire life?

[lastresort]

took DS1 and DD swimming today as a treat, co with DD2 it can be difficult.
Anyway after hour and half in cold pool I said 5 mins then we have to go. All hell breaks out and I basically have to drag them back to changing rooms whilst being told am worst mother in world.
Sulking in the car I informed them that as it was Saturday we would get a takeaway. One chose pizza, moaned cos not big enough, one chose spag bol, refused to eat cos it smelt funny, and DH complained that his kebab should have been on Naan bread not Pitta. Oh and as usual, DS2 just repeated his usual reply of 'don't like it, disgusting'.
So I had to start cooking after forking out £15.00 for takeaways that nobody wanted to eat.
Am I being a mug here or what?

Lastresort - You misunderstood me I think. I know you did everything for their benefit, but that's the point. They didn't appreciate it so make it clear you are happy (all an act) and relieved that you don't have to do it again as it doesn't make them happy.
If trying to please them leads to you not doing what you want and them not appreciating it just pretend you don't care (which of course you do) and make it clear that arguing and ungrateful behaviour is NOT rewarded with treats.
Can't dh take them swimming on a sat while you have an hour off and then do an easy pizza tea?

what a shame that your efforts have left you feeling sad being a mum can be hard

harecare-DH take them swimming on a saturday to give me an hour to myself...hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
No he will never do that while football is on.

Lose the skycard? Or his season ticket?

Give them each a duster and a bin bag and tell them no one gets anything other than breakfast til they have earned it - including your dh.

I think you'd have less work if you were a single mum.

Can he take them in the morning before the football? Or on a Sunday?

darleneconnor- they are my thoughts exactly. Maybe I should post on lone parent site

harecare- in the morning before football? Have you never seen Soccer A.M. It all starts in the morning and runs into the evening.
Sunday? No that is Golf day. But, as he reminds me constantly, he did all this stuff before we were married. Yes, and I used to go clubbing on a Friday night, get shitfaced, lie in bed all morning on Saturday, then hit the shops for the afternoon....do not do this now though. So sacrifices have to be made, by some and not others, it seems.

YANBU for feeling upset; YANBU for feeling usupported vis a vis your last message. YABU perhaps for expecting a bit too much from a 9 and 4 year old with different levels of stamina/understanding. I would have given 60 mins in the pool and started counting down after 45. Takeaways or trips to McD's, Pizzhut would have been conditional upon compliance after swimming. Sulkers/moaners would have been given soup and a toastie and sent to bed. Frankly if DH isn't prepared to join in with the swimming I'd given him the phone and told him to organise his own takeaway.

Instead of being angry at him because he gets to do what he wants, work out ways you can do what you want - if he's home watching TV all day that makes him perfect babysitting material for the DCs while you catch up with mates at the shops - if that's what you want to do.
Him being happy on the weekend doesn't mean you can't be happy too, or he should be made unhappy because you are.
Have you spoken to DP about not feeling appreciated? Can the 9 year old go golfing too? Can the DCs get into football? If not, when will they see their Dad? It doesn't matter if he was like that before you married, he has children and needs to work out ways to spend time with them.
It sounds like you are bending over backwards to please everyone else, they aren't appreciating it and so you're not happy. If they did appreciate your efforts would you be happy?

Go out before him next Sunday, don't give him a choice.

You need to take control of this situation.

harecare-yes,yes,yes, if they appreciated my efforts I would be glowing with happiness.
That's it in a nutshell really. I am bending over backwards to make my family happy and getting nothing in return, no thankyou for this, no thankyou for that, no kiss my arse....nothing. They just moan about the food not being right, even when I have cooked a full roast dinner followed by apple pie and cream....nothing. No 'mmmm, that was deliscious, thankyou, nothing!!!