to think men seem to have taken to MN in their droves recently......and I don't like it

[LadyBlaBlah]

Every thread I go on, there are men putting forward their opinion

I have enough of men in RL. AIBU thinking they should bog off to DN or go play the X Box or something?

I was an early adopter of 'mansplaining'- I might even have use it first on MN . I definitely think it exists.

I think he meant that her explanation about how it was not a generalisation /used as a generalisation was rot. Not that it didn't exist as a concept/event.

To my understanding anyway. and I agree with him...am I mansplaining, then, too? Surely I can't be, if I'm female?

I wonder if sometimes male sexist behaviour is anticipated too vehemently. So something Pan said was interpreted as something sexist by HB and something innocuous and probably correct by me?

No, a woman can't mansplain. She could still patronize the shit out of people though.

So the difference between mansplaining and being patronizing is that mansplaning requires you to be male?

HB - I hate to upset your dismay that you are currently enjoying, but I haven't said anywhere that blokes never get all bombastic and preachy and all of the other habits associated with this term.
I said I dismissed it as a cack word as it is a gross generalsation, and can appear to be quite offensive. Coley rejects it as a generaisation and points to male privilge as a defence of it. Yes blokes, and some women IME behave like this and it's pretty frustrating.

I am not denying anyone's experience - it's just a poor term. I don't "mansplain" as you tell me I am - I am just rejecting the grossness of the term for being the inaccurate absurdity it is.

Not really, no. It is more that the patronising attitude comes from a place of the specific experience of male privilege. And they would be unlikely to talk to other men in the same way, because they don't feel the lack of respect for other men's opinions.

My mum 'Mumsplains' to me when she tells me the same story 8 times in 2 days.

disagree with BoF - blokes tend to get a bit more 'competitve' when expressing opinions/giving advice/imparting information to other blokes. The scope to do this between blokes is massive.

oh ok sorry I obviously wasn't concentrating on the thread at that point.

Don't see what's wrong with generalisations though. You can't have a proper debate if you are continually individualising everything and having the caveat of "of course not everyone in x group does this/ thinks this/ is like this etc."

I think most reasonable people understand that if you are talking about a group, you don't mean every single member of it.

Are there two Pans on here?

I don't know what's going on, keep a lid on it because things are starting to simmer, people are getting steamed up, I'll get my coat.

UnquietDad wrote about "mansplain". - "It's patronising because it is deliberately engineered to be so, which the man in "mankind" never was."

Really? How do you know the intention behind the creation of the word "mankind" was not to patronise? Why did they pick "mankind" rather than "peoplekind" or "humankind" or "womankind"?

no truck - Helen at MNHQ just kindly gave me back my real name!

HB - take your point re generalisations BUT..this term has an implication with it that isn't really fair at all. IT could be as offensive as attaching any pre-fix to any beahviour. Would we tolerate "black-" or "jew-", or any other group. The existence of male privilige doesn't defend this use of "man-".

It is/can be as Pan says, between blokes.

So BoF - it doesn't in fact some from a position of privilege but from a lack of respect from those less privileged?

And to extrapolate that a position of privilege brings with it disrespect and failure to empathise with those in the opposite position is ridiculous, isn't it?

is that to me, Lenin?

man-hater - cheap shot made by blokes who don't like what has been said/done by a woman? Like 'frigid' if she turns him down for eg. man-hater IS a real insult. Mansplain is just cack.

A position of privilege does not inevitably bring disrespect and failure to empathise. I can think of several male posters on Mumsnet who are perfectly reasonable in the way they speak to women.

BoF - bit unclear on that. Are blokes on MN, when they are on MN, enjoying a male priviliged position? Possibly??

Men enjoy a position of privilege in society. That is difficult to dispute, I would have thought. That is not the same as saying that male posters all behave in an arrogant manner because of that privilege. In the main, they do not. You do see the odd one though. Footlong was a case in point, but he was eventually banned after several complaints.

Yes but BoF you're talking about everyone. Some people in that position do work hard towards equality.

So why this statement, in response to Salt's 'So the difference between mansplaining and being patronizing is that mansplaning requires you to be male?'

: 'Not really, no. It is more that the patronising attitude comes from a place of the specific experience of male privilege. And they would be unlikely to talk to other men in the same way, because they don't feel the lack of respect for other men's opinions.'

You seem to be saying that 'mansplaining' denotes a lack of respect for the woman/women in question. I thought that others were trying to say it came automatically from a position of privilege.

But you can be privileged and not disrespecting.