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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would it be awful to put DD in nursery even though I'm a sahm?

63 replies

Memoo · 14/01/2011 10:59

Maybe just one of two days a week to give myself a bit of a break.

Without banging on about it I've had a really bad year health wise and it has been suggested that this my be a good idea as it would be beneficial for me to have a bit of me time.

Just don't know what I think though

OP posts:

LittleMarshmallow · 14/01/2011 13:28

I would defo :) I have been off work the last 3 days but ds has still gone to nursery so I could do things without constant nagging etc and I found once he was settled there he loves it

Rosedee · 14/01/2011 13:31

Ds is 13 months and just started nursery for 2 afternoons a week. Laughing out loud at luxury! It's to give me a chance to do the bloody housework and maybe get a couple of hours me time which I never get. Go for it, am looking forward to my luxury time so much.

Original poster

Memoo · 14/01/2011 13:33

It's got to be beneficial to the child too if their mother is happier

OP posts:

loonyrationalist · 14/01/2011 14:03

I'm a SAHM; If I could have afforded to send either of the dd's for a morning or 2 at this age & found a nursery/childminder I was happy with I would have done it like a shot. I am very much looking forward to dd2 (almost 2) starting preschool in March & I will most definitely still be a SAHM.

Go for it!

valiumredhead · 14/01/2011 14:54

I did this when ds was 2 1/2 -I had no family near me and dh working very long shifts. He went to a childminder ( who happened to be a friend too) for 3 mornings a week. I was at the end of my tether as ds was a little toe rag very challenging I had had crippling post natal illness and did what I could to get through the day. It was beneficial to both me and ds and I still remember his little face when the childminder used to drop him off and he used to greet me waving a picture he'd drawn or just desperate to tell me what a good time he'd had. Looking back I wish I had done it when he was younger as it worked so well for us.

I'm sorry you have had a rough year, sounds like you need a well deserved break. Even having a bath where you KNOW you won't be interrupted is SO nice when you are feeling low x

WickedWitchSouthWest · 14/01/2011 15:04

YANBU. I had PND and put my DD in nursery for 2 half days a week from 10 months to give me some headspace and chance to recover. It did us both the world of good - I realised I actually did love her, and she just had a fab time!

Be prepared for some raised eyebrows (especially from the "reeks of luxury" camp - WTF?!) but frankly it's no business but yours. Like another poster pointed out, what other job gives you no time off?

Enjoy it, hope you're feeling back to full strength soon :)

Chil1234 · 14/01/2011 15:08

YANBU... Some children positively thrive on playing at a nursery and are furious when you come to pick them up to go home. :) Even if you were in the pink of health I'd say if you can afford it then go for it.

Francagoestohollywood · 14/01/2011 15:28

I think that spending a few hrs in a good nursery is very beneficial for the vast majority of small children.

And, if your child enjoys it, feeling guilty is a waste of time

giraffesCantDirtyDance · 14/01/2011 15:32

I think its fine. Find a lovely nursery you and dd are happy with and enjoy the break. Then you can have quality time with her other days. Would be if you put her in nursery 5 days a week 8-6 so you could do nothing but this is different. Go for it.

teenyanne · 14/01/2011 15:33

No YADNBU. My dd is 14months and has been at nursery 3 days a week since she was 10mo and I went back to work.

If I happen to have a day off in the week, she still goes to nursery 1) because she loves it and gets excited when she arrives and 2) because it gives me some time to do all the stuff I need to get done on my day off in about 1/3 of the time it takes when I've got her with me.

If you find the right nursery for her, then she'll be fine. (And if you're anything like me, then she'll get to do all the really messy stuff at nursery (feet in baked beans, swirling pasta in paint etc) that I'd prefer not to do at home).

And fwiw, you'll still be a sahm even if she is in nursery - noone thinks that a sahm isn't one anymore once her children go to school, and going to nursery isn't that different. "reeks of luxury" indeed - what nonsense.

Butternutsquash22 · 14/01/2011 16:56

I think you definitely should do it I you can afford it. You need the break. I used to do childminding for a single mum an afternoon a week, and I would just go round to their house and either play with the three year old girl in the house, or take to park etc if a nice day, and her mum would just go to her bedroom with a cuppa, a book and her laptop. The door was shut, and mummy wasn't there as far as we were concerned. Everyone needs a timeout!

fatpantsandgladrags · 14/01/2011 17:01

absolutely do it! DD1 has been going for 2 half days a week since she was 15 months....it coincided with me getting pregnant with DC2 and I badly needed the rest

Fiddledee · 14/01/2011 17:30

YABU you need to suffer like I have although did put DD in a pre-school aged 2 when very heavily pregnant with DC2. Now DS is nearly 2 and I am counting the months until he can go to pre-school in September.

I wish I could have put DD into a nursery sooner as I was so ill when pregnant with no.2 for the whole 9 months. If you have no family help or any other options.

I would do nursery rather than childminder, most of the childminders round here spend an awful lot of time on school runs rather than playing with them.

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