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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would it be awful to put DD in nursery even though I'm a sahm?

63 replies

Memoo · 14/01/2011 10:59

Maybe just one of two days a week to give myself a bit of a break.

Without banging on about it I've had a really bad year health wise and it has been suggested that this my be a good idea as it would be beneficial for me to have a bit of me time.

Just don't know what I think though

OP posts:
JamieLeeCurtis · 14/01/2011 11:36

Both my DSs went to playgroup for a couple of mornings a week from the age of 2 and a bit, and when DS2 was around 8 months old, and DS1 was 3, DS2 went to a childminder for an afternoon, sometimes a day.

I understand why you might feel funny about doing this - I felt really guilty that I wasn't doing "my job" properly. But I really needed that time otherwise I would have gone under with PND.

Have you considered a childminder as well as nurseries? - no experience of nursery at this age, but my childminder was really fab

HettyAmaretti · 14/01/2011 11:39

FFS it sounds to me like Memoo deserves a big lump of luxury and some time off. Which other job has no sick leave and no holiday entitlement? Lol at not being a SAHM while the child is in nursery.

LoveBeingADaddysGirl · 14/01/2011 11:40

Ffs this isn't so she can go shopping or get her hair done, both of which wouldn't be a problem to me, it's because of health issues. It will enable her to recharge her batteries and look after her own health.

Op go ahead it will do you some good.

LoveBeingADaddysGirl · 14/01/2011 11:41

Cross posts Grin

Aloneinthehouse · 14/01/2011 11:41

YADNBU go for it I had to do the same when my two were small and fwiw it made me a better parent as it meant I could recharge without them hanging off me and allowed me to regain some patience

LoveBeingADaddysGirl · 14/01/2011 11:42

Dh got dome extra holiday cause he worked bank hols , I told him to book some for the days I'm at work and dd is in nursery cause I can think of nobetter way to spend one days holiday (ESP as we have no spare money!)

timmytucker · 14/01/2011 11:44

YANBU

This is exactly what we've done, My DS who is reaching 1 year has been going for two months and he loves it.

He only goes for one morning a week on a Friday and I can honestly say it was the best decision we've made.

He gets to play with other children, whilst I tidy the house, read the paper, go for coffee, etc.

dickyduckydido · 14/01/2011 11:44

Absolutely do it. It means that you can do all the little bits and pieces which always need doing without your daughter. This means the time you do spend with her will be more focussed on her and not on shopping, cleaning, running errands etc. And it gives you valuable rest time, which is very necesary if you have health problems.

MissFit · 14/01/2011 11:49

Memoo I remember what an awful year you've had :( Definitely definitely do it. If you feel it would help you feel better, then it's worth it and will benefit the whole family.

domeafavour · 14/01/2011 11:57

My DS did 2 afternoons a week, try and do consecutive ones, it helps them settle in.
It was a life saver
And it did him the world of good

rookiemater · 14/01/2011 12:06

Go for it, DS is at preschool now and I could have changed my hours so that he didn't go to after nursery at all, but with working I would have had no time at all to myself. Therefore I still have Fridays off which allows me to get the shopping done, sort out errands, go for a swim oh and er mumsnet Blush

Anonymousbird · 14/01/2011 12:09

YAMDNBU.
Good for you both, I suspect. She will love it.

purplefeet · 14/01/2011 12:09

Do it.

I put DS in nursery 2 mornings a week from age 2. I'd had health problems and my doctor suggested it so I could get some rest.

I did also work part time, but DH and I shared childcare.

I wish I'd done it months earlier. Nursery has been brilliant for DS - his speech has improved, he's made friends, and is eating better.

Good luck op.

FindingStuffToChuckOut · 14/01/2011 12:11

YANBU - you could consider a childminder also? We had huge success with out CM & DD had that one on one relationship, which benefited everyone.

purplefeet · 14/01/2011 12:13

By the way I can think of at least 5 sahm's who put their dc in childcare a few times a week from 12 months so they could have a break.

I did stress a lot about it, but it was the right decision. I also considered using a childminder but couldn't find one suitable.

Mummy2Bookie · 14/01/2011 12:15

I would. Although I'd tell the nursery that you're a WAHM if you plan on having her there for full days. Simply because I used to work in nurseries and they are very bitchy about parents who put kids in settings when the parents are at home. You or your dd don't need that stress.

Chica31 · 14/01/2011 12:20

I do, normally I work full time, but on maternity leave at the moment DC2 due in 2 weeks. DD is still going to nursery and loves every minute of it. I do feel guilty, but I have low iron levels and I am shattered. Staying home with me at the moment would be no fun at all!

Do it, it will be good for you and her

COCKadoodledooo · 14/01/2011 12:30

YANBU. Ds2 is 14.5 months and I so wish we could afford to do the same.

socialhandgrenade · 14/01/2011 12:34

Hi - I think you should go for it. Perhaps start her just doing two mornings? IMO she will get used to going more quickly if she goes more often. I did this with DS, then after four weeks, booked him on to stay for lunch. After another week I extended to the while day. I did feel awful, particularly when they phoned me on his first day after an hour and told me to come back. But after the first month, he couldnt wait to get in and would say "nursery fun, stay nursery" when I collected him. I think it's made a difference to his ability to share and assert himself appropriately too. Go for it, your health is important, and she will enjoy it.

Francagoestohollywood · 14/01/2011 12:45

Lol at "reeks of luxury", God forbid eh?!

Go for it.

Original poster
Memoo · 14/01/2011 12:56

I'm quite amused at the 'luxury' comment!! believe me my life these past 12 months has been anything other than luxury!

Really appreciate all the positive comments. Have been feeling guilty about even thinking of doing it but feel so much better now, feels good to do something positive for me Smile

OP posts:
berri · 14/01/2011 12:59

Yes do it - I am a SAHM and my DS goes once a week. Sometimes my mum-in-law has him a day too so I get 2 DAYS OFF!!!!! Yay!

Much as we love our little bundles of terror joy, it's good for them to be busy all day with other toddlers and other people setting boundaries, and invaluable for me to have a bit of time to myself.

With that time I can choose whether to get on with all the house stuff, cleaning etc, or just sit down with a cuppa and mumsnet!

I second what someone else said about feeling guilty though, the first time I dropped him off I ended up blubbing half the way home, and a year later I still feel a bit bad. This wears off quickly however when treated with tea and a chocolate biscuit.

Meglet · 14/01/2011 13:00

yanbu. And enjoy the break.

I have one afternoon a week when I'm not at work and the DC's stay at nursery so I get a chance to catch up. Just being able to go to the dentists, hairdressers, doctors, bank, gym etc in peace is bliss.

illgetyoubutler · 14/01/2011 13:07

Ooh go on, do it!
I'm a SAHM too, and I plan on putting my DD into nursery when she is 3, for however many days we can afford it.
Cant wait!
Freeeeeeedommm!

Original poster
Memoo · 14/01/2011 13:26

You get some free nursery hours when they turn 3

OP posts:
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