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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to be woken up every morning by showering husband?

64 replies

Nuyorica · 14/01/2011 07:13

What do you think about the following?

My husband gets up at 5.45 every day as he commutes to London.

He showers in our only bathroom which is opposite our bedroom and next to our younger daughter's bedroom.

The shower makes a high pitched noise and wakes me up every morning and our youngest up about 2/3 of the time. Without this interruption we would all happily sleep until around 7.30.

Am I being unreasonable to suggest that he showers the night before? He thinks so......

OP posts:
fairtradefloozy · 14/01/2011 08:05

Same issue in this house OP - up at 5.45, out by 06.20 and a noisy shower, wake up etc.

It helps that he now gets dressed in our box room/study/junk hole rather than banging about back in our room - I now wake up maybe only 1/5 mornings.

The shower noise for us is the pump. I put a towel under it to and that helps.

littlemisslozza · 14/01/2011 08:07

YANBU, I do not see why he cannot have a shower the night before either. We do in this household and we do not smell!

My DH gets up at 5am and there is no way on earth I would get up for a cup of tea, nor would he expect me to - in fact he would probably think I was bonkers! He has learnt not to bang around and the children have learnt to sleep through his alarm. He lays his clothes out the night before and goes downstairs (where it is warmer in the morning incidentally) to get dressed, have a cup of tea and watch the news/read the paper before he goes. He does not think this is unreasonable in any way.

Consideration for other people works both ways, just because he has an early start for work does not mean everyone has to wake up surely?

rookiemater · 14/01/2011 08:10

It could be a lot worse. DH LOVES his morning radio and regardless of what time he gets up it is on deafen level and I have to listen to whatever is the cause de jour on Radio 4 at too early o clock. Then inevitably DS wakes up and as DH is in the shower it is my responsibility to get up.

To be honest if it was just the shower noise I would be delighted and stick in my ear plugs a bit more to block the noise.

jennymac · 14/01/2011 08:15

I agree with littlemisslozza - it is not just you who is being woken up but your dd as well and I don't see why if one person has to be up early, everyone else should too. My dh and I have one day off each during the week when we are at home with the kids, and the other person does their utmost to be quiet on the day that they are getting up early to go to work.

sybilvimes · 14/01/2011 08:19

How do you think he would feel if you woke him up one and half hours earlier than necessary every morning? I bet he wouldn't happily get up to make you a cup of tea.

Its basic consideration to another person to not disturn their sleep this way if you don't have to, surely? My dh showers the night before, then has a wash and shave in the morning. Perfect.

musicposy · 14/01/2011 08:21

Given that I have to constantly nag my DH to have a shower (doubt he'd ever wash if he lived alone), I think you're quite lucky. I'll have him! Grin

supergreenuk · 14/01/2011 08:21

YABU
I am in the same boat although him just getting up and getting ready wakes us as well as the shower. The way I see it though is that he is going out to earn money so I can stay at home with DD so we support him going to work and don't make him feel bad about the situation.

Have you thought that even if he didn't have a shower that he would still wake you while he gets ready for work anyway.

MrsTumbles · 14/01/2011 08:24

YANBU, I am a shift worker and LOVE a shower to wake me up in the morning. For a while when I returned to work I would have my 05:30 shower, but this woke DH and DD. I now have a shower the night before and leave my clothes downstairs so I can get ready without waking anyone. I can't see the reason for everyone being as knackered as me :)

Gabity · 14/01/2011 08:28

YABU. Count yourself lucky mine does it at 2.45am Sad (not the showering bit, but the crashing around)

purits · 14/01/2011 08:30

I agree with empire.
I would feel very guilty to be snoozing in bed whilst OH gets up at stupid o'clock on his own.Sad

OTheHugeManatee · 14/01/2011 08:35

YABU. I've done the commuter thing, and it's bad enough without having to go to work unshowered.

Fix the shower, get earplugs, go to bed earlier.

Zondra · 14/01/2011 08:48

Yabu!
Be glad he's getting up to work hard & provide for you!
Poor guy! I feel sorry for him.

Get the shower fixed or if that is impossible suck it up & go to bed earlier.

dinkystinky · 14/01/2011 08:49

YABU - fix the shower.

conniedescending · 14/01/2011 08:53

absolutely you are being unreasonable!

I have to shower in the morning regardless of what time i get up. I get up at 5.45 as I have a bit of a commute and shower and then use my hairdryer in the room where DH is (trying) to sleep. he has never complained and understands that I have to be at work!

nbee84 · 14/01/2011 08:57

Another YABU - I can't start my day if I haven't jumped in the shower. I also have the sort of hair that needs washing and drying after I've slept on it, otherwise I look like Worzel Gummidge!

TrillianAstra · 14/01/2011 08:57

Fix the shower.

Seriously - you are complaining that he wants to have a shower in the morning?

OhYouBadBadKitten · 14/01/2011 08:58

I'm one for getting up with dh. It seems kind and supportive to. I make our breakfast while he gets washed and shaves. Then we squint at each other over the breakfast table. It means I don't get cross with him disturbing me, he gets to sleep in a bit longer as hes not having to make breakfast and we get to spend time with each other before he starts his day.

TrillianAstra · 14/01/2011 09:01

Those of you saying you would get up at 5.45 are clearly morning people. Or very very self-sacrificing.

OP do you have to get up for work/school run/etc? Or are you and DDs all able to do as you like for the rest of the day?

PissOrnMoiStick · 14/01/2011 09:02

Agree with Trillian.

I think YABU, and selfish. I would not dream of going to work without a shower in the morning, even if I have had a bath the night before.

Surely it is only 5 minutes of noise and then you can snooze til 7.30 anyway.

poor bloke. It's bad enough getting up at that time of day and leaving the rest of the family in bed, without them mithering about the noise you make.

PissOrnMoiStick · 14/01/2011 09:03

Ooh I love the word mithering.

TrillianAstra · 14/01/2011 09:08

I actually quite like it if I wake up at 6 and see the clock and can think ooooh, back to sleep, lovely, don't have to get up yet

Abr1de · 14/01/2011 09:12

You will get used to it. My husband is up at 5.30am as well for the journey to work. At first our new shower woke us up but now we just sleep through.

Poor man, I wouldn't ever suggest anything that made his early morning routine even more grim.

GnomeDePlume · 14/01/2011 09:13

I'm just not up without a shower in the morning. I would be really upset if DH decided that I had to shower in the evening just so that he could enjoy some more beauty sleep.

He wouldnt by the way.

ccpccp · 14/01/2011 09:13

YABU.

Hes not getting up at 5.45am out of choice. Hes doing it to put food on your table.

Be a bit more understanding.

Perhaps you just need to go to bed earlier?

PissOrnMoiStick · 14/01/2011 09:18

I wouldn't say you should get up with him.

getting up at 5.45 when you don't need to is taking love and devotion too far.

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