Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want the DCs to avoid rugby?

134 replies

Quattrocento · 12/01/2011 20:54

Watched DS's rugby match today. He is 11 and he is something called a prop.

He caught a ball somewhere near the back of the pitch. He said it was the 22 (?).

Then he ran with it. Various big boys tackled him at several points. He woozled round them or ran through them.

Then just before the touchline, FIVE of them dived on him and brought him down.

I nearly had apoplexy. The potential for serious harm in this game is immense.

DS came back to me covered in mud and his eyes shining. 'Did you see my try?'

No, I didn't see your try DS. Because you were underneath a pile of flailing arms legs feet and boots (with studs).

This game is too dangerous. Isn't it? But it would break DS's heart and embarass him horribly if I make him stop.

So, AIBU to want him to give up rugby?

OP posts:
Doodlez · 12/01/2011 20:56

YABU - I reckon he stands more chance of serious injury if he plays thug-football. Rugby is a far more orderly and polite game.

Big clap to your DS for that try BTW - it was one hell of a run! Smile

herbietea · 12/01/2011 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

IShallWearMidnight · 12/01/2011 20:58

YABU - they're taught how to be safe and (mostly) are. Two of the DDs play/played rugby and the only blood injury either of them had was from.....ballet Grin.

ruggermum · 12/01/2011 20:59

YABVVVVVVVU

Rugby is a great game, for them that like it.
Fresh air, exercise, team spirit. What more could you ask?

The only down-side is the laundry.

itsanewday · 12/01/2011 21:00

Nope. I don't think any mother actually enjoys seeing her ds in the midst of that. Mine plays hooker (the one next door to the prop). He is an average-sized 12yo and plays with BIG 12 and 13 yo's. He gets really stuck in and I find it very alarming. But boy does he love it.

You are not being unreasonable to wish he didn't play. You would be unreasonable to try to stop him, or even to voice your concern. Sorry!

MentalFloss · 12/01/2011 21:01

My DS2 plays a lot of rugby and it took me a while to get used to him being tackled... but he has never had a nasty injury because they are taught how to be safe so YABU (but check the coaches are teaching them how to tackle safely)

scurryfunge · 12/01/2011 21:02

DS aged 16 has played since he was 7. It is well managed and safe at club level. I would wonder at age 11 why they are playing with full tackles....I am sure that wasn't done when DS was 11 but I may be wrong.

Sirzy · 12/01/2011 21:02

YABU although I can understand why you feel that way!

To score a try like that he sounds like he has a real talent for it and if he loves playing it great!

I am a rugby fan and hope that DS wants to play when he is older, its a great sport!

SmethwickBelle · 12/01/2011 21:04

You're not unreasonable to care about your baby (I'd have kittens too) but don't forbid it.

How brilliant that he has an interest that involves something other than sitting on his bum in front of the telly or a computer console and that requires a certain level of fitness.

Be proud. He sounds like a great kid. Easy for me to say, I have all this to come Grin.

Original poster
Quattrocento · 12/01/2011 21:04

Oh no

If mothers think IABU then I have no hope

So you think a polite note expressing that I would prefer DS not to play rugby would be the action of a big girl's blouse?

There were legs there and feet and studs and DS was underneath it all

Truly horrible to watch

OP posts:
insertexpletive · 12/01/2011 21:04

I played womens rugby for 10 years - shall I list my injuries for you?

It's a great game Grin

jonicomelately · 12/01/2011 21:04

Another mum here with a prop for a son.
I used to 'watch' with my hand over my eyes. After one of his first competitive matches I was so relieved he was OK I hugged him, MUCH to his embarrassment. Apparantly rugby players shouldn't get hugged by their mums...on the pitch Grin
I'm slightly better now.

pagwatch · 12/01/2011 21:04

It is a bloody marvellous game. Teaches self discipline and sportsmanship.

Dh played a really good standard and ds1 has been first team for the last few years.
Fabulous game. They do get injured but serious injury remains rare.
Unless you would stop your dcs skiing or riding then you are being very unreasonable.
Although get him out of the pack. Numbers 10 and higher are safer.

pascoe28 · 12/01/2011 21:05

YABU - MTFU!! Smile

bruxeur · 12/01/2011 21:05

Just remember that if you stop him playing rugby he might start playing football, and then he'll turn into a wife-beating, whining, spitting, cheating dirty little prole.

Stick with the rugby. Awesome game.

Am impressed that a prop didn't faint from agoraphobia in that much open space - very modern.

itsanewday · 12/01/2011 21:06

Also, I think that you may find that you start to enjoy it the more matches you see and the more you understand the game. I have the terrible situation at the moment of having to choose between a great rugby match and an under 11 girls' hockey match - how do I tell dd I'd far rather be watching the former. Stick with it and I suspect it'll all come good!

ohnoshedittant · 12/01/2011 21:06

YANBU I feel exactly the same!! It's too dangerous! I'm trying to encourage my DC's to enjoy non-contact sports (swimming, tennis, dance etc.). It's not going well though; they just want to wrestle!

I think you would U if you made him stop. But def not U to want him to.

ScotlandR · 12/01/2011 21:07

YABU.

No more dangerous than football, and the attitude of rugby is much nicer. Rugby players tend to be very chummy off-pitch, regardless of their team. Whereas football teams IME are very tribal and can be very competitive and unpleasant to people who are on the 'wrong' team.

He's unlikely to get seriously hurt, but he is likely to learn important skills and make good friends.

Takeresponsibility · 12/01/2011 21:07

Troll

bruxeur · 12/01/2011 21:07

Don't get him out of the pack! The tight five are the clever ones. The backs tend to need help with their laces, and cry if they get muddy or chip their nail varnish.

Original poster
Quattrocento · 12/01/2011 21:08

What is MTFU? Am I one?

I'll happily watch another match. Providing DS is not playing.

What was that about being a number higher than 10? Are they safer?

OP posts:
MotherSnowyMountainGoat · 12/01/2011 21:08

Rugby was quite dangerous in the 1970s due to collapsing scrums, but is a lot safer now the rules have changed. I grew up in South Wales, where rugby is more of a religion than a sport (Pontypool Front Row etc), and there a few guys in wheelchairs after scrums collapsed. That has pretty much stopped now.

Having said that, DH still has a filthy scar on his knee from an illegal tackle when he was 16 (he was the quick one on the wing, whatever that's called, but apparently not quick enough) that knackered his cartilage and needed an operation. I suspect it was the kind of injury that could have happened with a number of sports, though - my cousin had a knackered cartilage from netball.

ecobatty · 12/01/2011 21:08

YANBU. All my friends played rugby when I was a teenager and the list of injuries is nothing short of horrific. I shall never allow my dc to play it. (no doubt they won't want to as they shall be too busy doing martial arts like their father Hmm)

Original poster
Quattrocento · 12/01/2011 21:10

He has recently switched from being a tight head prop (?) to being a loose-head prop (??) Or it might be the other way around. Is either of those safer?

OP posts:
bruxeur · 12/01/2011 21:11

Man
The
Fuck
Up

Is acronym.