AIBU to want the DCs to avoid rugby?

[Quattrocento]

Watched DS's rugby match today. He is 11 and he is something called a prop.

He caught a ball somewhere near the back of the pitch. He said it was the 22 (?).

Then he ran with it. Various big boys tackled him at several points. He woozled round them or ran through them.

Then just before the touchline, FIVE of them dived on him and brought him down.

I nearly had apoplexy. The potential for serious harm in this game is immense.

DS came back to me covered in mud and his eyes shining. 'Did you see my try?'

No, I didn't see your try DS. Because you were underneath a pile of flailing arms legs feet and boots (with studs).

This game is too dangerous. Isn't it? But it would break DS's heart and embarass him horribly if I make him stop.

So, AIBU to want him to give up rugby?

YANBU - ask any insurance company. dh worked with someone who broke his neck playing rugby.

I am worried by this talk of mouthguards. They are absolutely COMPULSORY. No question.
Teachers and coaches should not permit anyone play without them.

YA-mostly-BU

Especially as your DS loves it so much, I think you're going to have to play supportive mum and just grin and bear it.
I get how hard it is to watch DC's doing something even a teeny tiny bit dangerous tho.

Rugby is a wicked game to watch, and even better to play...

Oh, I just remembered the weekend I was worried sick as DS1 was off playing rugby in Wales (by the time they are 14 they are playing serious rugby and Welsh rugby players tend to be HUGE). He came home safely but the next day DS2 fell off the sofa while watching TV and broke his foot in four places!!!

I love rugby, played it myself and hope that ds will also be involved, but if I'm honest with myself YANBU.

I can imagine I'll find it hard not to rush onto the pitch screaming "don't hurt my baby you awful, awful boys" at his first tackle

My brother loved playing rugby when he was little and then gave it up for cricket and hockey. Now hockey, that's a violent sport right there.

My mum encouraged him, but she also took out a sports insurance policy.

I played rugby until I was 45, including some high level rugby at Uni. I hated some of the rugger bugger things which sometimes surround rugby but I absolutely loved playing. The adrenalin rush before the game and the exhaustion after the game are just wonderful. It was the only sport I truly loved and did other sports like athletics, cross country and squash only because I felt they would help me get fit for rugby.

I had a few dislocations and injured ligaments as well as losing a front tooth (before gum guards became the norm) and only broke my arm when I was 42.

Having said that, neither my mother nor my wife were keen on watching me play and two of the three times I had to go to hospital was when one of them did come to watch, which discouraged them even more.

One of my veteran team mates was a QC and decided he had to give up rugby when he appeared in the Court of Appeal, prosecuting a criminal case, with two black eyes.

I played prop by choice in my later years, having slowed down and one of the things that does concern me a bit about junior rugby is that players do get typecast at an early age (all the posters on here already describe their children by the position they play). My son was a pudgy 8-year-old but became quite slim, yet he was never considered for any position other than prop.

BTW OP, that sounds like a great try, especially for a prop.

20 year old friend played rugby, his mum constantly worried about injuries, so he gave it up and swapped to hockey. First game he got hit in the eye and had 6 stiches

scrumpox (does that even exist?)

I have banned DD1 from playing this year because hse has a ballet exam approaching and her knees aren't up to both. phew.

I played tight head prop in my hall's seven's team at uni. Loved it and will be encouraging DS to take up rugby when he's old enough. Definitely agree about the mouth guard. Also warm up thoroughly, I have a shoulder I can tell the weather with after not warming up properly.

The Beast's experiences match my friend's too - reluctantly giving up after a couple of important presentations being given with black eyes and split lips. So only another 20 years or so of rugby left.

Your son's try does sound very impressive though, I never came close to scoring and in sevens's the pack has much more opportunity than XV's.

So in conclusion YABU but perhaps best to shut your eyes next time he end up at the bottom of a ruck :)

YABabitU .

Your son will also grow up with a group of friends who know the meaning of loyalty and teamwork. Everyone I know who's played rugby talks about (and often is still close friends with) his/her friends who have looked after/stuck up for/got them home safely at several times in their life and especially in their teenage years when young men do some very stupid things.

I once heard a police chief on the radio say that he was relieved when his son became a goth because it came with some great and loyal friends and he would be avoiding town centre bars on a weekend. The presenter made a similar comment about rugby friends and I agree.

Tough one - we never want to see our DC's being pulverised, but we can't wrap them in cotton wool either. My cousin smashed his femur (prep-school rugger) and had to have pins put in it. He was so desperate to get back on the pitch that he went in too early and broke it again. This time he was strapped into a wheelchair and not allowed out - so he and my little brother used to go-cart it down a big hill (with his full leg plaster sticking out the front) for fun instead. Boys are generally insane when it comes to their personal safety (my DS and his 3 friends have drowning, being run over, falling through skylights, nails through feet and various broken bones between them and they are only 8) mothers, however, are naturally inclined to try and preserve them.

YANBU to want to protect your DS, but YABU to think that banning him fom playing rugby will in any way endear you to him or ensure his safety.

oh one of my DS's friends had 20 stiches across his face after a pillow fight a couple of weeks ago - boys play rough, they can't help it!

YABU!

DS has played rugby since he was 6. In 5 years, he has had two serious injuries. The first - he and his mate were sliding in the mud after training (as you do when you are 7) and he fell and broke his collar bone.

The following year he had stitches in his head for a gash...caused by him swinging his medal around his head after presentions and it hitting him side-on at speed.

Any decent rugby club will teach safe rucking/tackles/scrums etc as soon as they start contact rugby.

My boys love rugby - they're not brilliant, but would kill me if I stopped them. A while ago when one was about 11 he was at the bottom of the heap in a match and when he surfaced had a bloody nose, swollen eye and one boot. Ref looked over to me and said "Mum needed here I think" - when I went over my DS glared at me through the mud and blood and hissed through his teeth "go away", in no uncertain terms.

Now when I watch and they're almost 16 I just wince privately and agree that indeed the stud marks down their legs are impressive battle scars.

Rugby is fantastic. I used to play women's rugby at University. Yes, there are injuries and it's a bit rough but very much par for the course.

And a useful reminder to stop lying all over the ball, SIR! SIR! HE'S ALL OVER IT!!

*stomp stomp stompy stomp

YABU

Sounds like your DS loves the game, and is good at it too.

I like the discipline in rugby. I like the way they have to call the referee 'Sir'. And if a player so much as looks at the ref the wrong way he penalises the whole team.

It's such a shame the refs in football don't do the same. It would do away with all the cheating and intimidating the ref that you see.

Why did i open this thread my ds has just started rugby training. He cant play matches till hes 6 in october though ad he loves it especially getting muddy .

He also does martial arts as does my dd, he doesnt compeate in martial arts like dd does. Now if you want to see something scary then watch a martial art comp

Sorry, YABU. I am Welsh, grew up in S Wales where our secondary school had FOUR rugby teams in every year group, every Monday's assembly had a detailed analysis of the weekend's matches, and most of the male teachers played too. Boys who played were generally popular, admired, were genuinely fanatical about it and benefited from things like rugby tours overseas. Many went on to support and join local rugby clubs where there is a terrific social network even if they eventually give up playing. There's now also a flourishing gay rugby scene too - I'm friends with a casino bouncer who is 6 ft tall and wide, and plays for a number of teams, both gay and straight. Yes, there are injuries but a great deal is done these days to mitigate this, and against that, put the increased fitnesss, social benefits etc. I'd say there are far more positives than negatives.

I love rugby & think it's a brilliant game, but I would honestly feel the same as you OP if I had a young child playing it.

It can be very dangerous, and there are many spinal injuries suffered by players (not to mention broken noses, dislocations, cauliflower ears etc). I believe younger players are ment to play a safer game with different rules to adults, but I don't know how this actually manifests.

Please define many. You may illustrate your answer with reference to skiing, riding, rock-climbing and being a passenger in a car, unless you feel that this would not help your argument.

Also, boys are taught to shake off their scraes and "man up" - so none of this pathetic howling in agony clutching of body parts over a slightly rough tackle like you get in football - most of which is just playing up to get a penalty. There's also no arguing with the ref - you have to "suck it up" even if the ref is being a tosser.

And any dad on the sidelines not behaving himself or swearing at the ref has quiet words said to him - usually by several built-like-brick-shit-houses dads.

The old adage applies:

Rugby is a game for hooligans played by gentlemen. Football is a game for gentlemen played by hooligans.

It sounds as if he loves it and is good at it.

YANBU to want to keep him safe but YWBU (would be unreasonable) to try to discourage him or stop him.

You say you broke your nose and arm riding (was that one or two incidents?) so you know what it is like to choose to do a slightly-dangerous activity because you enjoy it.