to think that if a man gives you his number

[garageflower]

and asks him to text you to arrange a date, as he's liked you for the last two years and now you're finally single....he should reply to the text you send.

I wasn't even that bothered before.

I agree with BB .

You don't think that maybe the big brother (who also secretly has a thing for you) found out about your chats and texts and put the dampeners on it because he plans to make a move himself?

BB,

As a bloke I read it exactly as you did. She has not sent the text he was expecting. Having said that, it is a cowardly and unchivalrous guy who cannot ask a woman for a date directly but asks her to ask him.

The other alternative is that he has met someone else in the interim and does not know how to tell the OP.

I like that all the women think one thing and the blokes another.

It's amazing anyone ever hooks up sometimes isn't it?

OP think you might want to listen to the guys here even though I'd probably think the same as you... I suppose this is one time when men know what they are on about lol

Hmmm, men sometimes take an odd approach to these things what with the desire to appear to play it cool etc. Put it out of your mind and leave it. Be polite but not overly friendly and let him do any further chasing.

Agree with BitOfFun

Do NOT text him again!

You sent him 2 messages both friendly and asking him questions, therefore expecting a reply.
If he cant be arsed to reply to your questions just because you didnt ask the exact question he was expecting, then he's a bit of an idiot tbh!
If he likes you he would have replied 'yes, thanks had a great new year, how about meeting up when i am back from hols?' ...

Take a gorgeous date with you to your mates birthday party!!!!

Good morning everyone

Ok, lots more replies since I went to bed last night, thank you for all of them.

I'm sorry if my original post sounded confusing, I'll give as much detail as poss, as the men's opinions have thrown me a bit.

Oh, and apologies if I sound a bit schoolgirl. This isn't someone I'm losing sleep over or anything, I was more just a bit perplexed!

There has been obvious chemistry between me and man for the last two years when we've met. I have been in a relationship for that whole time but that is now not the case. I also have gone on Facebook a bit more in the evenings, feeling more sociable etc.

Man pops up on Facebook chat. We both admit we've liked each other for a long time. He asks to meet up with me, I say perhaps but would it be weird not to mention it to his brother who we're both close to.

He says it's up to me, he sends me his number and I say perhaps we should do something in the New Year. I send Facebook message on 29th, text on NYD and not heard since. I now have to see him next month at his brother's 30th.

His brother and I do not have any underlying chemistry and his brother is also, I think, still in love with his ex.

Anyway, I am not going to contact him again. He could well have met someone else which is fair enough or he could just have changed his mind. I'll see him at the party and be cool but friendly enough.

And, I will update

Ps - Sarah, best of luck on your meetup and be sure to update!

I'm not a bloke, but I do agree with the blokes! You took the easy way out, contacting him without actually giving anything away. You wanted HIM to commit to asking for the date, didn't you? He asked you to do that, and you chickened out.

Also, you had his number, why didn't you just ring him? Txt and messaging is the work of the devil.....!!!!!! Soooooo many people get upset by misunderstandings!

But haven't you said he is ON HOLIDAY!!??

Facebook could just be he hasnt logged on as ...on holiday!
Text, hasn't replied as...On holiday!

And yes agree with chitchat and the others, you were not clear to him in your original mesage. Forget all the mind game crap others are suggesting, if you like him ask him out directly if you dont then dont.

He isn't on holiday now. He got back about a week ago.

Oh I don't know, I'll just see him at the party and I'm sure we will get on fine. It's in 3 weeks.

Bottom line is he didn't respond to communication and even if that's because I chickened out, I know I would have if I liked someone.

having read your later post giving more background, I now agree with the blokes on here.

He asked to meet up with you, you were a bit unsure, sounds like he was quite clear in leaving it "up to you" to let him know if you did want to meet up.

You then message him, but same general, chatty tone as you did before he asked you out. That's very different to saying to him "have thought about it and yes, I'd like to meet up". So he is probably thinking you don't want to and has backed off.

Just ask him! Or at least don't give him the cold shoulder at the party!

I wouldn't bother with him - he is so laissez faire about this it's not worth it.

I'm so excited about the party now

I want you to fancy him more though OP

She does said she wouldn't have started a thread just to say.. I'm not really bothered but... (even if that IS what she said!)

She thinks she's playing it cool .. Which is why both her and the bloke are so bloody confused! they will get drunk at the party and accidentally on purpose fall in to bed weith eachother.

You heard it here first!

Op and her mate's brother sitting in a tree.. K. I. S. S. I. N. G.

Sarah, I met up with an ex, someone I dated for about three months when I was 17. We didn't split up over anything to do with our relationship (my dad made us split due to something which I really don't want to go in to )

We had a great night and it was like being 17 again . Must have done something wrong though, we didn't go out again and although we are still in contact I doubt we will be dating.

A word of advice...do NOT go back to his place even if you don't sleep with him. Disaster. . Even if you have done previously - treat it as a first date (and now I will be taking my own advice )

OP if he likes you he will text you. If he doesn't reply to your texts - there is your answer.

Slight update:

He popped up again last night on FB chat. I'm thinking he is deffo after some kind of fuckbuddy situation, which is all well and good, but I'm not, especially not with one of my best mate's little brothers!

So we're on friendly/flirty terms and I imagine there will be chemistry and flirting at the party...will keep you guys posted.

The more I spoke to him, the sleazier I found him, though, so I may just stay at arms length depending on how horny I am

Fuckbuddy is what I was thinking when you said he wasn't fussed about clearing the situation with brother. He is thinking with his cock. No reflection on you though, he just isn't after a 'relationship' by the sounds of things. You are, however, irresistably fanciable clearly.

garageflower text him again if you are interested - if you just said something about his holiday then maybe he thought you were being nice but giving you the brush off, especially if he was shy or lacked confidence. Text him again and suggest coffee or something.

Gonna leave things alone now and just have a laugh with him at the party.

He is definitely thinking with his cock, fair enough to him I suppose!

meant "giving him the brush off" not you ie he may think that you were just bein gfriendly but not interested. Men don't reply to texts - nor do I actually - unless there is a reply specifically asked for.

Not read all the thread but I think some men like game playing, and never grow up!They want you then when they can have you they run off
But for your sake I hope this guy is not like that!!

I am not great at replying to texts, and don't think it's the best way to arrange stuff. I wouldn't read too much into him not replying to a NY 'hi, how are you?' text esp. if he was away at the time.

Why do you think he wants a fuckbuddy? Perhaps he just really fancies you. FB is not a great medium for reading how into you someone is...

However, I would not push it before the party, as it will make you look desperate. And personally, I'd date him a couple of times before doing anything to make him think all you want is a casual fling, esp. given the friendship with the brother.

research No when we split up it was nothing to do with our relationship either. More a case of wrong place, wrong time etc :(

OP he sounds a sleeze. Just stick to Plan A and enjoy the party. There are plenty of fish in the sea allegedly, maybe one of those fish will be there too.

Oooh Sarah, glad you're back.

Hope all goes however you want it to over the weekend. How do you want it to go exactly?

Yep - just going to enjoy the party have a giggle with my friends and whoever else I might meet. Actually feel better for having spoken to him, because now I feel I can just be how we were before with no awkwardness or wondering what is being thought.