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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be really unhappy with people pointing out how much weight I put on in pregnancy

41 replies

shirleyhyypia · 11/01/2011 13:17

Its not implied, they SAY it. :(

I actually only put on 6lbs, but it easily LOOKS like 2 stone at least, I guess as I was so inactive as I was ill.

I'm still BF my DS so cant diet, and eat quite healthily anyway.

OP posts:

InspirationalBreadbin · 11/01/2011 13:23

YANBU. I really don't know why people feel the need to comment.

AgentZigzag · 11/01/2011 13:28

Tell them to fuck off and mind their own if they're so rude to say such shite.

I put on shed loads, a year later and I've got rid of it, but nobody ever, ever mentioned my weight afterwards, except to reassure me I was fine if I asked them.

You weren't fat, you were pregnant.

RudeEnglishLady · 11/01/2011 13:30

Ouch! Thats so rude.

YANBU.

However, you can't win you know. I lost my pregancy weight in a few months, nothing outrageous, and 'friends' were very in my face making comments, pretending to be joking. I felt sort of like a piece of meat! One morning I just said - you are making me uncomfortable I think I'm just going to go home. They stopped after that. Now the joke is that you aren't allowed to mention RELs weight - which is more funny I think.

Theres so much more to a person than poundage. You have no need to diet and if you wait a while, I'm sure BFing will put you back to normal. Thats what did it for me and I put on over 2 stone. You need your calories now!

AgentZigzag · 11/01/2011 13:33

Who is it making these remarks shirley? What do they say?

Original poster

shirleyhyypia · 11/01/2011 14:10

Mainly my family, a close friend was pregnant at the same time as me so friends have been quite sensitive.

Comments about the size of my bum, me being in competition with my auntie (size 22) for biggest belly, asking if im pregnant again and havent told them.

My DH jokes about it, but that doesnt bother me quite so much as the out and out nasty comments. I have a horrible family. But its just what theyre like. :(

OP posts:

AgentZigzag · 11/01/2011 14:22

And how do you find yourself reacting?

Whatever you said back, it obviously wasn't clear enough if they still feel they can make 'jokes' at your expense.

I think your DH is out of order too, it might be easier to stomach coming from him, but he should be making you feel attractive not adding to the shitness you're feeling.

DrSeuss · 11/01/2011 14:23

Tell them that you can sort it out by losing the weight but that they are f-ing ignorant and ugly and nothing much can be done for either of those!

AgentZigzag · 11/01/2011 14:28

drseuss

Actually, I think I'd deliberately sit there eating cream cakes with a smug, self satisfied relish just to spite them - and see the judgemental on their faces

SkyBluePearl · 11/01/2011 14:29

2 stone is the recommended weight gain. just ignore everyone. lots of people actually put on 3 or 4 stone never mind 6lbs.

SeaTrek · 11/01/2011 14:33

Very rude.

I would just ask them why they felt the need to say that? Did they think you hadn't noticed or were they actually trying to be rude and if so, why?

Watch them squirm.

Original poster

shirleyhyypia · 11/01/2011 14:39

seatrek - I like that one!

Feel I must point out to anyone that thinks 6lbs is good gain that I'm not a small person to start with, I was "obese" before I got pregnant.

OP posts:

CognitiveDissident · 11/01/2011 14:48

shirley

As baby+placenta+associated gubbins = well over 1stone you've actually lost weight this pregnancy.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 11/01/2011 14:55

But you don't mind them taking the piss out of your auntie. I guess that's ok because she's a size 22. You lost me there, sorry.

LadyOfTheManor · 11/01/2011 14:59

Tell them to get fucked.

I'd say- "Oh I'm sorry I've JUST had a baby, did that escape your little minds?" and that you have more pressing matters to deal with (as new mothers do).

The good thing is, breast feeding should help shift the weight. I alternated breast feeding with swimming. I did a feed and left immediately leaving my lo with my dh then heading to the pool for only 30 minutes. It got me out of the house, and got me moving again.

If you are happy with how you are, then take no notice. My father likes to point out that I sometimes go over my eyebrows with pencil to make them more defined-I point out that he has gone bald and he usually shuts up. It's childish mud slinging, but you'll feel better for it! :o

AB12 · 11/01/2011 15:00

When I was pg i put on two stone. (I was average weight beforehand). My male, aged in his 60s neighbour told me over the fence 'there is really NO excuse for putting on more than 18 pounds, you know.'

I wanted to brain him.

He has since made comments about the fact i stopped bf-eeding at 4 months ('you have to stick with it and don't wuss out') and the fact we use a dummy (if your baby cries it is because YOU need to find out what is wrong').

I fucking hate it hate it hate it hate it.

I wish people would just STFU. (breathing deeply).

I am seriously going to lose it with him one day. iwish so much that when he made the comments about the breastfeeding I had said 'thanks for that. And how many children did you say you had fed?'

But I do understand how it is hard to be compared in terms of the weightgain. I have a cousin who is 5ft on the button and petite. She is putting on a neat, tight little bump. I have always had the skeletal size of cart horse and just LOOKED bigger. My mother/ aunts comment how well the cousin i s looking, and are pointedly silent when it came to me.

AgentZigzag · 11/01/2011 15:06

I can't see where the OP says she doesn't mind how they make remarks about her auntie gwendoline.

LadyOfTheManor · 11/01/2011 15:08

Well that doesn't really affect her does it?

If my sister said to me, "you're fat" that would effect me more than her saying "aunty Gwendoline is fat".

I wouldn't care about Gwendoline-as that remark wasn't aimed at me.

However if I was compared to Gwendoline and Gwendoline was a size 22, I'd have reason to complain!

AgentZigzag · 11/01/2011 15:10

Sorry, that was to GwendolineMaryLacey, but I can see how it looked as though I was saying the OPs auntie was called gwendoline

LadyOfTheManor · 11/01/2011 15:12

tut tut I just called her Aunty Gwendoline-thought she'd been nicknamed in a post I didn't read.

Now I look like I'm calling another poster a fat pig.

Apologies.

LadyOfTheManor · 11/01/2011 15:13

ha ha ha it actually reads quite amusing now I know that little fact.

Sorry Gwendoline.

TickettyBoo · 11/01/2011 15:21

YANBU!

My family do it too, not nastily but to "make a joke" and its not funny!! I can't get in my clothes still (lo is nearly 8 months old) and so treated myself to 2 new long jumper type tops, I felt so much better as had been living in 2 crappy jumpers for ages... until my dad said I looked like I had a maternity top on and was I pregnant!

So nice that people want to build you up isn't it! lol

putthekettleon · 11/01/2011 15:26

oh god, I sympathise - people are just rude. A friend's husband said to me when DD2 was about 4 weeks old 'and how long does it take for the bump to go down?' !!! The worst thing is, he wasn't even being intentionally rude, I think he was genuinely interested as they are planning on having kids soon but I was mortified!

If it helps, I put on 3 1/2 stone with each pregnancy Dunno why (hmmm, maybe cake actually...) I'm an average size 12 usually but I balloon in pregnancy. I got so sick with being told I was huge/a cannonball/ people not believing I still had 10 weeks to go etc etc.

It took a year to lose the weight with DD1, and this time round DD2 is 7 months and I've got 10lbs to lose still. Just take a deep breath and ignore it, ooh, or the best retort I've heard on here: 'I'm sorry, that sounded very rude, did you mean it to be?'

theevildead2 · 11/01/2011 15:32

I've had loads of a jokes (I am huge) it doesn't really bother me. I'm pregnant.

If I wasn't and they sad how fat I was I'd be horrified. People just like commenting on the bump don't let it get you down. I don't think its meant cruelly.

SO I think you are being a bit unreasonable but I understand why

Gogopops · 11/01/2011 15:33

Ignore them. 6lb is nothing!!
I put on about 5 stone with each of my DC's - it was really depressing to weigh more than DH!!

Lost all the extra weight within about 9 months on both occasions. Only downside was that Victoria Beckham gave birth virtually the same day as me with DD1 and I kept comparing my weight loss to hers - stupid really, must have been the hormones.

dinkystinky · 11/01/2011 15:35

YANBU - ignore them or do as I did when people commented on my pregnancy weight (I put on about 3 and a half stone each time - looked like I had a spacehopper stuffed down my top) - threaten to sit on them

If your weight is getting you down, you can do some light exercise and focus on healthy eating while you're bfing - the post baby pounds will go eventually (though in my case it took over a year each time).

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