To hate living in Manchester (and North in general)

[ILikeMilk]

Moved here four years ago to be with DH, and I still cannot get used to it. We are in a nicest area of Manchester, and it is still feels very provincial and boring. I dream about living in London, but DH does not want to look for a new job. I feel like there is no point and don?t want to decorate the house, make friends, etc, I just fantasise about being in London every single day. There is not much to do here, no nice streets or galleries, not much to do on the weekends as a family. I went to London this weekend, it was so painful to come back. Does anybody else feel this way?

'an organ that changes colour!'

snigger

Ha-bloody-ha!

It's apparently one of it's greatest assets

shush or all of London will be rushing to Manchester...

I started reading this thread feeling a little bit cross, now I just feel very sorry for you actually.

It doesn't sound like you have a very good relationship with your DH, or a remotely happy life.

You need to move back

We live in Salford, moved here from living in another town about 25miles away about 2yrs ago. I love Manchester, MOSI is great for kids but is undergoing alot of refurbishment and Manchester Museum has great exhibits, unfortunately my 2yr DD doesn't give me enough time to really look around. Its great living a short bus ride away from the city. We go to Heaton park quite alot in the summer as well as some of the local parks in Salford which are well maintained.

As I'm a cheshire girl, I love Tatton and Marbury Country Park is really lovely all yr round (especially in the spring with thousands of bluebells) with cheap parking.

When the weather is reasonable, we also trek up to Southport/Blackpool or over to North Wales which is not too far a drive.

Life is what you make it. I know how you feel, for you, being a Londoner is in your heart just as being a Northerner is in mine. Good luck!

ensure - cheer up, Cumbria is fantastic. I relocated here and there's a lot going for it.

Lots of little groovy shops, countryside and coast on your doorstep. Carlisle and Lancaster are both near enough for shopping. Granted, there's a lot of rain, sheep and hills, but you don't see them everywhere...not when the low cloud is down.

It's just that compared to Manchester, its a bit, well provincial.

Actually, although the town centre is rather grim (as everyone goes into Manchester to shop), most of the suburbs are very leafy and pleasant to live in, and there's quite a lot to do in Stockport.

The Hat Museum in Stockport is actually pretty cool.

So are the Stockport Air Raid Shelters in the tunnels under the cliffs www.flickr.com/photos/stockportairraidshelters/sets/72157622732033688/

Bramhall Hall is lovely, and Staircase House is great.

And actually, I always really used to like climbing the cobbled streets up to the market and the area round that, especially when the shire horses from Robinson's Brewery were going past. It just felt like a wonderful trip into a more authentic past...

Um. The schools are pretty good?

you should try living here in the poorest area! BE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE.

I know what you mean. I definitely prefer to be out the city. I hated London at first (and I was in South Kensington, so not rough or anything!), I had several panic attacks when I was first there, but I did adjust(I was only there for a month though). But then I don't like the centre of Manchester ether, I don't feel terribly safe there.

Have you tried the Trafford Centre though? It's good with buggies and there are plenty of places to eat/sit down if little legs get tired.

Oh, FFS!
Firstly, you're not actually in Manchester, you're in Hale. An area where, when we moved up from Surrey, DH was most depressed to find he could get barely any house for our 750k budget (before the crash)

Secondly, there is lots of open space in Cheshire. We lived in Wilmslow for 3yrs and loved it up there. Our house backed onto fabulous woodland/park.

However, if you don't like it and are homesick it doesn't really matter where you are. Before moving to Wilmslow, we lived in a very sought after village just outside Guildford. I HATED it. Couldn't wait to get out. It's the sort of place where you're house sells in a day but I just couldn't settle and never felt I fitted in. As a consequence, I never did.

I think that's what is happening to you. Parts of your life are unhappy and so you'd be unhappy wherever you were. I think you need to have a long hard think.

good work there Grendelsmum

I wouldn't bother, Grendelsmum!

Lots of Stockport, including the town centre is rough. It always seemed weird though because places like Bramhall and Woodford are very nice. Although we lived in Wilmslow, we did like Bramhall but the traffic put me off.

I am from up North and love Manchester (lived there for 3 years as a student).

I don't think Manchester, or Hale, is the problem. You need to sit down with your DH and create a plan for moving out of the area you're in. Then you need to try and make the most of where you are until the time comes that you can move.

Seriously, saying there is nothing to do, it's all so boring, is incredibly childish. There is always something to do if you can be bothered to do it. You've had a lot of good suggestions on here.

I think your attitude may be making people wary of you. If you're determined to hate a place then you will be miserable. Make the best of it and have serious words with your husband.

LIVE in Wales I'm not FROM Wales. In fact I used to live in Salford so I think I'm more than qualified to judge the state of MAnchester AND their accents.

Luckily I'm not BRitish so I can avoid all these arguments :O

(If I was a Mancunian I would stand my ground but I'm not 'ard).

Oh and I remember Marple being nice too! I'm sure we once went walking around there.

Well, Ladyofthemanor, when we lived near Guildford, the accent was pretty much the same as in Wilmslow, I thought!

And you cannot judge S Manchester alongside Salford. Really, you cannot. That's like telling people in Richmond you judge them based on your visit to Dagenham!

I lived in NW Manchester for 7 years and didn't enjoy it much. But it's just an opinion, I've got friends who adore the place.
OP, you sound homesick, so you either move or look for the good in your situation and cope.
Not easy choices, but at least they are clear.

Thing about London is that it's great if you can afford to live in Highgate or Islington or Notting Hill blah blah but most of us in normal jobs probably could afford to live in er Hackney or somewhere which is not particularly a great area to live. In fact most of my mates in London who are on good salaries all live in dodgy areas in the East End as it's all they can afford despite great jobs!

London is lovely if you are strolling round Covent Garden but it is a shithole if you are in some less glamoures suburb. It is dirty, expensive and you can't drive round the city due to terrible congestion. I like to visit it but would hate hate hate to live there.

However I am a confirmed Northerner so suppose I have my own predjudices.

Ilikemilm - I do feel for you, but I don't think it's Manchester that is the problem, I think it's having no control of your life which has changed beyond recognition. I wonder if you are longing not so much for London, but for the person you were and the life you had?
We moved, not far from you, just 6 months ago and I love it. But I wouldn't live in Hale, despite everyone telling me that was the place to go. Far too coiffed for me!
Not having school aged children must make thing harder. At least at school there are a pool of parents to meet and befriend.
But you do need to invest in your life, your home and your family. Accept that life is different now, since having children and make the best of it. But your DH is letting you down, in your eyes, and you need him on board. I don't imagine it's easy for him to see you so unhappy.
Perhaps it's time for you and he to make a plan. You agree to pull out all the stops, and if, in 12 months things haven't improved you and he will seriously discuss alternatives?
Try MN local, or even arranging a meet up (I'm free most afternoons ).
When you are in a downward spiral, getting out of it is the hardest thing.

YABVVVU I'm actually offended for once at you calling it a shithole. Manchester is great and a lot of my friends live in Hale. I'd love to live there, but accept it's not the same as London (god, which bit!)

Quality of life (housing, commute, work environment for me) are much better in Manchester compared to the capital.

Second what others have said about you needing to get out more, make some friends!

It's a matter of personal taste. I work in London infrequently and stay in hotels, meet friends. I like it to visit but couldn't live there. Love the well to do areas but could never afford to buy.

London is ace. I love it. I think if you're a proper Londoner, you won't really be happy anywhere else. I didn't really enjoy living in the North of England

Our local surestart is at least 50% of mums have english as a second language.

It's been said many times you don't live in Manchester!

"And you cannot judge S Manchester alongside Salford. Really, you cannot. That's like telling people in Richmond you judge them based on your visit to Dagenham!"

Oi Monty - watch what you are saying! I love Salford and it really isn't all fish and chip shops and Coronation St! I know some really posh middle class people here and I love the lack of pretension. On average I really do think people are friendlier here than "down south" and far less likely to judge you on your clothes, type of car/house etc! There are smarter areas that aren't all street terraces and some of the newest apartments are like these:
[http://www.thehomesmine.co.uk/Manchester_property/To_Buy/Manchester_Property/Salford/Flats__Apartments/Property405507.aspx]
Salford gets a much worse press than it deserves IMO!

I'd rather live in Hale than NW London!

Look at what you could buy for same amount of money in London. I hate the tube, it takes hours to get anywhere.

I went to university in Manchester and there are theatres/shops/galleries there. Plus parks and countryside.

Make friends and you might even like it there.

ScatterChasse "Wilmslow isn't that bad! Alderley Edge is much more pretentious. But I would move to Prestbury like a shot if I could. I like hills! (But not Macc. That has too many hills.)"

What!? You can't have too many hills! But seriously - you think Prestbury and Macclesfield are hilly? They are on the edge of the hilly bits certainly but that's all. Not sure I would move to Prestbury even if I won the lottery (the only way I could afford it) I like Macc.

GrendelsMum "The Hat Museum in Stockport is actually pretty cool."

I have been trying to persuade DD that we should visit there for years and it has become a bit of a family joke. I will have to tell her it is "pretty cool" and see what sort of response I get!

To get back on topic - the OP seems to feel that her DH is not keeping his side of the bargain because he said they could move back to London if she didn't like it in the North. However, her unremitting negativity suggest that she never intended to like it and has made no effort to settle in. Consequenlt I am not sure if she has kept her side of any bargain either.

I am guessing that the OP is not a very "outdoors-y" sort of person otherwise with the whole of the Peak District National Park almost on her doorstep I cannot see why she would say "there is nothing to do with the family at the weekend"