To hate living in Manchester (and North in general)

[ILikeMilk]

Moved here four years ago to be with DH, and I still cannot get used to it. We are in a nicest area of Manchester, and it is still feels very provincial and boring. I dream about living in London, but DH does not want to look for a new job. I feel like there is no point and don?t want to decorate the house, make friends, etc, I just fantasise about being in London every single day. There is not much to do here, no nice streets or galleries, not much to do on the weekends as a family. I went to London this weekend, it was so painful to come back. Does anybody else feel this way?

Oh, there's many a great day out to be had in Stockport

I do sympathise, OP - I lived in Manc with my OP when we first got together, and would have ended up staying there if he could have got a job - as it turns out, the first job he got was in London, so we moved back to London, where I'm from.

I admit I was a bit relieved - not that I found Manchester boring, but I am a Londoner, and just missed it. We then moved out to the Home Counties, and only recently moved back nearer London - I have to admit I do love being able to get into London more easily; just the red buses cheer me up.

That said, we were in Didsbury, which is quite kicking, and had lots of friends there, so weren't so cut off.

Not surprised you found Stockport station depressing - I suspect even the most die-hard Stockportian probably feels like that. I mean, I like London but feel a tad unimpressed when I arrive at Luton airport, say.

Give Manchester another chance - as a southerner, it is a bit of a foreign country - I'm bilingual, now, after many years, and can 'mither' with the best of them, and we eat our fill of Eccles cakes etc. But there is a bohemian side to Manchester too.

Or move?

I haven;t been to the hat museum yet - just the thought makes me and also [snore]

WHy is everything up hill in Macc? Even on your way out?!!

There are parts of every town that are shit....including Wilmslow. If you make no effort to see past a bit of graffiti and a couple of people being a bit 'off' then nowhere will be good enough.

I used to live in Manchester (for 2.5 years) and HATED it. Found it really insular and depressing. Wasn't far from Stockport, but never made it to the hat museum - maybe that would have changed everything ; 0

OP, I live in Hale. I love it. Well, I love the location more than the place itself, Manchester just a short tram ride away, the Peaks also really close. I ignore the overly yummy mummies in their £200 jeans and get on with being me.

But I'm happy being provincial. Because, to me, coffee with a mate is coffee with a mate, whether its £1.50 in M&S in Altrincham or £loads in Notting Hill. I think that perhaps if you had friends, it would be easier. We are not all footballer's wives.

In all seriousness, get yourself to Rhyme Time at Hale Library on Tuesday morning, or Altrincham Library on Friday afternoon. No one is up themselves in the slightest. Everyone has a chat afterwards, particularly at Alty.

Saying there are no nice parks is rubbish though. Have you been to the Devisdale? Stamford Park? John Leigh Park?

ilikemilk I live in liverpool and if you wern't such a snob you would find it is not awful it has some lovely areas.
You are a dredful snob, no question.

Why does no one ever spare a thought for those of us who live in the East? It's always a North/South divide!

'Bloody bloody bloody hell.

As an exiled Manc forced through work to have to live in Stoke-on-Trent, your posts make me want to deck you.'

Now, now Wilf you know you just love it here.

Seriously OP - life's too short. It's not where you live your life, it's who you live it with, lighten up a bit. Up North ain't that grim.

haha saggar: you'll be extolling the virtues of the pot banks and oatcakes to me when I'm moaning on, won't you?

I am a mancunian born and bred but now reside in hale (ish) and love it. Have lived in east Manchester, didsbury, chorlton, Sheffield and briefly London in my time and can see pros and cons to all but hale suits our needs.

If I had pots of money I'd live in London but I don't so I'll just visit thanks.

Also I've made loads of friends through school and ante natal classes, everyone very friendly round here.

I escaped sunny Stoke and fled up the M6 to be in Manchester 16 years ago Wilf

OP you don't live in Manchester you live in Cheshire there's a bloody big difference. Plus I won't lie there are parts of Manchester that are shit, really really shit. I won't name them but they are mainly in the north east aspect of the city.

But there's SOOO much to do in South Manc with little ones you can be spoilt for choice, the Peak District has some of the most beautiful countryside in Britain and is only 20 mins away.

I DO know how it feels if your heart is with a city to be fair. I tried Leeds for 6 months and absolutely hated it. Hot footed it back to Manchester at the first available opportunity.

No-one ever comes to or stays in Stoke willingly

Quite, Minx. I work in NE Manchester and it is seriously grim in parts. Though there are some lovely bits up there too.

And I do have some sympathy for the OP. I made my DH move out of Wilmslow as I hated it. When we go back I thank my lucky stars I don't live there with a baby as I'd not have been in a good place mentally. But it wasn't because it was provincial, it was because I couldn't get anywhere without a car.

There are grim parts in London, too.

Yes, London has its crappy parts too! Hackney anyone?

I feel bad for OP, she seems depressed, and it seems hubby is doing nothing to help.

I have to say, I'd go absolutely bonkers living in the sticks or someplace that is not really happening, like where DH is from (Sunderland). Its pretty grim.
But Manchester always seemed pretty cool and fun to me.

I live in Chorlton, and i can't imagine ever living anywhere else. We have a village green with carolling at Christmas good schools, boutique shops, great bars and resturants, a lake, Chorlton Art's festival, Beech road festial, The unicorn organic supermarket, the award winning Barbikan deli, the ees county park, true multi culture and the city 10 mins away.

OP you just need to move or stop expecting it all to come to you.

Start a moan-blog and call it "Wife in Manchester".

Burning - was at Unicorn and Chorlton waterpark today. Chorlton is fab!

Oh, and OP - I got the Hale and Altrincham handbook through the door today. There is a two page list of things to do at the back, with contact nos, etc.

If you don't get it through the door automatically, I will send it to you through the post. This is a serious offer. PM me.

I live in Hackney. I have a love/hate relationship with it. There is a lot to do in London but how much of it can an average family actually get through? You can't be in 5 places at once. The DCs won't like all of it. What's the point of taking them to family gamelan at the South Bank or whatever if they're as happy kicking a ball around or flying a kite on Hackney Marshes?

It's great it's there. What we do go to is top quality, amazing, fascinating, inspiring family time. 99% of it we don't bother with. It's what you make of where you are, not what it makes of you.

Ahh, Unicorn in Chorlton. The best shop in the world, ever. Nowhere in the world have I ever found anywhere to match it. Still miss it, even now, 9 years after moving back to London.

And hey! No knocking Hackney til you've tried it!

If you'd said you don't like living up North because the Northerners start spitting with fury every time they hear a southern accent and you just can't get them to be nice to you, I'd have sympathised, (been there, done that).

However, you just sound like you aren't looking for the positives: beautiful countryside, great history, wonderful culture, exciting urban life in Manchester, good people if you can get past the prejudice Northerners dole out to Southerners....

Perhaps you should try living in a different area in Manchester, and then, if you still don't like it, move back to London. If home is London, it will pull you back in the end

OP it sounds as if you and your DH are encouraging each other to be unhappy - has he n
ever tried to help you feel more at home there and build a shared life in all the 4 years? I wonder too if perhaps he is aware you've never made any effort to settle and your attitude is rubbing off....its not clear from your comments what you enjoy about life together.

YANBU to hate Manchester, for lots of it is shite, but then again YUBU to want to live in London or any city come to that. Dirty smelly places that they are

And BTW what is wrong with the Midlands? True I left as soon as I could, but would deffo prefer it to Manchester.