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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want DH to get life insurance

29 replies

tigitigi · 10/01/2011 16:28

I am fully insured so that if anything happens to me he gets a weekly stipend for childcare etc. If anything happens to him I get nothing. He has a hereditary chronic condition, nothing serious but it has led, together with weight, one single insurer to refuse him when we got mine sorted out. This has been an excuse not to do anything. I am so frustrated as it is not just if he got sick but if he fell under a bus, we would be left with death in service and nothing else. We do not have a mortgage so that is not an issue, just living costs and school fees.

OP posts:

scoobydoobydoobydoobydoo · 10/01/2011 16:32

My DH doesn't have life insurance either. He refuses to on the grounds that if he died I should be more concerned with losing him than how much money I would(n't) get

ChasingSquirrels · 10/01/2011 16:34

why don't you get his life insured then?

TattyDevine · 10/01/2011 16:35

Haha. There must be a way to convince them without them thinking you are plotting their demise...

Tigi any chance you can do an online application and get to the point where you are nearly ready to press the button, get a quote etc, and say "honey, come see this, how's £13 a week (or whatever), shall we do it? Take the bull by the horns? Its all online these days, I think, just be a little proactive with this one as its you who's stuffed if he is...well, stuffed...

BreconBeBuggered · 10/01/2011 16:36

Of course YANBU. He is BU to not even look at other insurers. It wouldn't take that long to get a few quotes. My DH and I both have chronic illnesses, but managed to get insurance.

AMumInScotland · 10/01/2011 16:37

As ChasingSquirrels says, you can always take out the policy on his life - you'll just need to be able to give the relevant information about his health.

geordieminx · 10/01/2011 16:37

Just do it - if you are married if he did die then you would get the money and he would be none the wiser.

pink4ever · 10/01/2011 16:39

This is something I have nagged my dh about.Neither of us have life insurance and it really worries me. I am sahm and if anything happened to dh then dcs and I would be up shit creek without a paddle. He says we cant afford it but I think it is more to do with his attitude to my being a sahm(posted on this subject before) and that he views his money as His(and wouldnt even want me to have it after his death iuswim).

minibmw2010 · 10/01/2011 16:46

I think its incredibly irresponsible of anyone's partner to leave the other without financial safety for the sake of maybe £20 a month insurance. Especially when there are children or mortgages involved.

geordieminx · 10/01/2011 16:52

I got insurance for dh and I through {{http://www.cavendishonline.co.uk/ cavendish]]

They are recommended by martinmoneysaver. You pay a one off fee of £35 then the monthly premium which is a lot cheaper than most others.

Dh and I have seperate poilices - it was only an extra £2 a month - it means if we both die then its twice as much, it also means if one of us was to die, then the other one a little while later there would be twice as much for ds.

I think mine is £6 per month (under 30, non smoker), dh's is £40 (over 40, smoker) but its well worth it for the peace of mind.

FabbyChic · 10/01/2011 16:52

Having a mortgage means you have to have life cover no choice about it.

geordieminx · 10/01/2011 16:52

here

darleneconnor · 10/01/2011 16:53

but if you doont have a mortgage, couldnt you get one to pay for the fees/expenses?

You woould also get widowed parents allowance and increased tax credits.

MedusaIsHavingABadHairDay · 10/01/2011 16:53

I'd be downing tools ..(or refusing sex, whatever works...!) until he got it sorted.

Seriously you do NOT want to be without life insurance, even if you have a higher premium because of health issues!

A colleague of mine had a husband like this.. he was fit and healthy and decided not to 'waste' money paying life insurance anymore.. and had no mortgage as it was a HA house.

Then the roof he was fixing ..not properly supported..fell in on him and he died. She was left with nothing, couldn't make the payments on their car etc etc.. she was humiliated as well as grief stricken.

To be honest I think any partner who doesn't want to ensure their families comfort and survival in the event of death is unbelievably selfish:(

Mine has me insured to the eyeballs as he reckons there won't be a queue of women lining up to take my place with 4 teenagers....

LadyOfTheManor · 10/01/2011 16:54

Didn't you have to both take out life insurance in order to get a mortgage?

TheCrackFox · 10/01/2011 16:57

I arranged life insurance for both of us and then informed DH. (I don't normally wipe his arse, promise). Could you just arrange, it took me 10 mins over the phone.

exexpat · 10/01/2011 16:59

Everyone with children should have life insurance.

DH died suddenly at the age of 41. Luckily we had a decent amount of life insurance, so I have not had to worry about money as well as everything else - being widowed in your 30s with young children is crappy enough as it is without having to worry about being homeless and penniless.

Scooby - I think your DH has got it the wrong way round. Life insurance actually buys you time to grieve before getting on with your life. If he died uninsured, you would be too concerned with how on earth you were going to live (and cursing his stubbornness) to spend your days thinking about him.

ChasingSquirrels · 10/01/2011 17:16

I am going to (although haven't done it yet) insure my not-yet-actually-ex husbands life, as if he died the child maint I receive would die with him. I have been told there is no issue with this.
TBH, I don't think it is at all unreasonable that the beneficiary sorts out the insurance.
Our IFA also recommended Cavendish Online that someone else posted about.

CupcakesHay · 10/01/2011 17:18

Wow - def NBU. As soon as i found out I was preg DH went and got life insurannce - for him. But weirdly won't sort it out for me... which I keep insisting he needs to do. i don't think it's anything ghoulish in it, but think at a terrible time in your life, it'll be one less awful thing to worry about.

Ragwort · 10/01/2011 17:24

I am constantly amazed (even after 10 years on Mumsnet ) that women will have children with men yet won't sort out the absolute basics like wills, life insurance etc. How can you NOT make these important decisions when you are happy enough to have children by these men???

My life/marriage is far from perfect but at least I know that my child will be cared for if I or DH (or both) die.

My DH's DF died without life insurance & he has never forgotton the struggle his mum had to bring up the family in very difficult financial circumstances (which could so easily have been avoided by having proper insurance).

oldraver · 10/01/2011 17:27

I agree with exexpat... One of our endowments was quite new when DH died and they put me through the wringer before they paid out, it took over three months and I wasnt sure if I would have to sell up and move away. Not something you want to be thinking of when you have lost a loved one. I can only imagine the extra stress not being insured could bring

sowhatis · 10/01/2011 17:28

we are both insured. makes total sense. those that wont are being irresponsible IMHO.

Malificence · 10/01/2011 17:57

I can't understand that way of thinking at all, it's pure laziness and stupidity.

Both partners should be insured for the mortgage plus a minumum of £100k with small children to consider.
The younger you are the cheaper it is.

DH as the main earner is also covered for critical illness and disablity.

All our combined policies come in at less than £50 a month and I've recently got 2 small top up policies for a fiver a month that will give DD £25k if one of us snuffs it - but that was more to do with getting the airmiles .

Malificence · 10/01/2011 17:59

Cupcakes - why does he have to sort out something that you can easily sort out online within a few minutes?

CupcakesHay · 10/01/2011 18:27

malificence - yeah i'm crap at stuff like that - i'm one of those lazy girls who lets her DH do all the finances, etc... so umm - yeah i know.... please don't berate me too much!

fairtradefloozy · 10/01/2011 20:01

you don't have to have life insurance to get a mortgage, since they can just sell the house to recover their costs. Also the insurance with mortgages is pretty rubbish compared to some other market products. Shop around, get a good deal and some peace of mind. Can you show him this post and "encourage" him.

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