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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in thinking it was wrong of this person to put this on FB status

31 replies

tomhardyismydh · 09/01/2011 13:41

...was sad to hear a young man at (insert local sevondary schools name) has comitted suicide today.

I found it very insensitive, its sunday and other kids and parents from the school will read this and this could create gossip and upset to lots of people who do not have the facts.

i think the silly woman should have not put anything and hope the school will deal with this sensitivly tomorrow.

OP posts:
mutznutz · 09/01/2011 13:44

It depends on who this lady is to the young man and if what she said was indeed factual I suppose Sad

sloggies · 09/01/2011 13:45

Was it the poor mother that put it on? Not the best idea I agree, but maybe she just wanted to put it 'out there' as she is very overwhelmed, and the more word goes round, the less she will have to do it, iuswim.

JamieLeeCurtis · 09/01/2011 13:47

Oh, blimey, second "inappropriate way to communicate" thread regarding FB today. Don't get me started.

YANBU

ZillionChocolate · 09/01/2011 13:47

But isn't the information going to be dispersed at some point? It would be a problem if she's got it wrong somehow. I'm not sure that schools have a magic formula for breaking bad news.

Original poster
tomhardyismydh · 09/01/2011 13:48

it wasnt the mother of the person, that i could understand if it was and thats whet she has chosen to do.

OP posts:
Original poster
tomhardyismydh · 09/01/2011 13:49

i just fear that it may cuse alot of inacurate speculation, chinese wispers etc with such limited facts.

OP posts:
mutznutz · 09/01/2011 13:49

Who is the lady to the deceased?

Original poster
tomhardyismydh · 09/01/2011 13:51

im assuming she is not a relative as she has a daughter at the school but no other family memebers at the school.

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Newgolddream · 09/01/2011 13:51

Well if its wrong information then of course its not great. But judging from personal experience (my sons 16 year old friend commited suicide a few months ago) - then people will be talking about this anyway, FB or no FB.

This doesnt stop the school dealing with it sensitively of course.

mutznutz · 09/01/2011 13:54

Well I'd say if it's factual and she has been asked by the family to do it then it's ok...or if she has seen an update from a family member and repeated it without adding bits.

However, if none of the family have mentioned it on the internet then I'd say it's very wrong and she should butt out until the family want it announced.

borderslass · 09/01/2011 13:56

I think the way it's worded is wrong DD2 knows others who ve died in her year and a respectful R.I.P. is normally posted by fellow pupils/parents.

Original poster
tomhardyismydh · 09/01/2011 13:56

saddly its the second sucide I have heared this week a friend of mine also died a few days ago.

I would not dream of putting anything about it on facebook or share this information with anyone, as its not my news to share.

I think that is why I took notice of what she had put on her status.

OP posts:
BluddyMoFo · 09/01/2011 14:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JamieLeeCurtis · 09/01/2011 14:06

Exactly Bluddy. She's not a newspaper. It's gossip and it's not her place

saffy85 · 09/01/2011 14:09

It's even sadder when a person's suicide is used as fodder for gossip mongers. Sounds like an attention seeking status imo.

BluddyMoFo · 09/01/2011 14:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Columbia999 · 09/01/2011 14:20

Was it followed by loads of exlamations along the lines of "Oh no, hope u are ok hun/babes etc etc"? Ugh.

BodleianBabe · 09/01/2011 14:23

Agree with Bluddy. I think status updates like this are usually posted by attention seekers who don't really grasp what is ok to 'gossip' about and what really is something that should be kept private. They just want somehow to be 'involved' in the story.

If something like this had really upset you you'd ring and friend and talk about it with them not splash it FB and (what is even worse) 'discuss' it on FB with a load of illiterate messages and 'sad face' symbols.

theevildead2 · 09/01/2011 14:23

was sad to hear a young man at has comitted suicide today

The wording says to me she didn't even know him. So I think it's pathetic attention seeking and making it about her agree with Mofo.

My aunt was doing this when 2 girls died at my neices school. She didn't even know the girl but everyone was discussing how "sad" they were and it did fuck me off. Seemed so fake.

ladysybil · 09/01/2011 14:26

i found out about the death of one my uncles on fb through a status update. i spent a good ten fiftenn minutes completely and utterly freaked out before establishing that it was a distant one, and not someone i was close to.
but thats what fb is. a century ago people probably thought of telephones in the same way.

ChickensAreFlyingUnderTheRadar · 09/01/2011 14:29

YANBU. Insensitive and vulgar. I hope someone tells her so.

Original poster
tomhardyismydh · 09/01/2011 14:30

no one has commented on her status strangly enough. looks like alot of other people have far more tact.

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Original poster
tomhardyismydh · 09/01/2011 14:32

chickens i did consider doing so myself but thought it would be equally as vulgar to do so on her status update. maybe I should message her.

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borderslass · 09/01/2011 16:47

I'd private massage her telling her it's in poor taste.

quietlysuggests · 09/01/2011 16:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.