Materialism - sick of it

[Smartieismycat]

Since OH was made redundant in October I've been in denial, which finally came to light when I checked my bank balance after New Year. I think I have had a denouement; realise that the things I thought could make me happy have not. NowI long to just pay my bills on time, pay the mortgage without worrying and occasionally go out to cinema/for a meal with OH and enjoy spending time with my DD.
However it's tough, likeI'm not allowed to just be happy with that. Even reading my favourite magazines -0 Grazia and Marie Claire - left me feeling hollow and empty.
I'm going to have to reconcile my feelings with what is around me. How do I do that?

It has helped cleanse mine, went for my run (in the sun) and enjoying watching Muppets - the Star Wars edition with DD and OH

We too have had a change of circumstances but I think I was disillusioned with consumerism long before that.

I got really tired of reading about slebs, and handbags that cost 1000's. I stopped shopping for anything other than essentials.

The trouble is the news offered little alternative and was all doom and gloom going on about how bad it was going to get.

I don't want to fawn but MN helped me in that it exposed me to a wonderfully varied cross section of people, not just those the media choose to portray.

And trite as it may sound I realised the value of relationships and have put more effort into fostering those relationships which nurture and support me.

Do not watch property shows! Or any shows involving lots of money.

"Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly".... The Sunscreen Song

One of my NY resolutions is to only buy one item of clothing or handbag or shoes per month. I thought if I went cold turkey I couldn't hack it, but once a month will hopefully be enough to stop it feeling like complete deprivation and also allow me to replace things when absolutely necessary, like my swim suit which is unlikely to last the year.

Don't buy the magazines, if you want to read them then go to the library with your DD as most magazines are stocked there.

Why do you check your bank account every day? Perhaps stopping doing that would make you happier.

I completely and utterly agree, OP. It's everywhere - magazines, shops, television, advertising. You just can't escape the pressure to buy buy buy and then buy some more. I've had to throw stuff out to make room for more stuff after Christmas - stuff we worked our backsides off for, with the long commutes and stress at work for material goods that we don't need. The eldest is now 13, and is facing a barrage of pressure to have goods that are 'obsolete' in a year, and the youngest is 3 with a toy room full of stuff that has come from others in the form of hand-me-downs, presents or from us. The middle child is groaning under the weight of clothes, make-up and trinkets (again passed on, or presents) - we don't need 2/3 of it.

I don't watch these lifestyle programmes - Grand Designs for some reason really depresses me, as if we should somehow applaud or inspire to people who have huge budgets to throw at a plot of land, architect and build, and never, ever buy magazines.

reading glossy mags cheer me up - it's the private/selective school threads on here that depress me.

But everyone knows that private is better . Are glossy magazines as good for you as a selective education that requires a certain level of wealth?

well looking good can get you further up the career ladder more than brains imo

Are you saying that throwing money at education might be a waste of time?

oh yes no point if you're good lookin'

books, books, books, books....

seriously, instead of buying two glossy magazines, buy a good paperback. or if money's really tight go to the library.

read about people doing amazing things - whatever floats your boat - travelogues, a year in provence, cycling round the world.

if you're feeling really brave i'd recommend 'enough' by John Naish.

i am not going to say that i'm entirely immune to consumerism (not at all) but i do surround myself by friends who are artists or work in the arts, culture or community work, none of us have much cash and none of us persue 'this years' fashions. My DH and i are more extravegant than our friends in terms of travel/holidays but that's just till our LO comes along - after that it'll be camping in scotland every year and we'll love that

arrghhh 'pursue' not 'persue'

LOL South

Fluffles - Could I just add that charity shops are fab places for books, usually at about 50p/£1 each. Recycling stuff that would normally go to landfill - nothing better

oh yes, charity shops - but whatever you do DON'T read stupid 'chick lit' trash about women in NY 'having it all' and buying shoes while worrying about what men think of them.

Agree! Although 'chick lit' should really be banned from shelves worldwide - sod the censorship debate!

Read Jane Austen instead. Lots of women having to tighten their belts because of those pesky entailment laws...

I thought the OP was being advised to buy Take A Break mag there LC... ;) that made me smile!

We have a charity book shop (raises money for local hospice) I've got the Bill Bryson's 'History of Everything' is better than chick lit option, I agree that can be just as depressing as reading a women's mag. I'm going to spend the next few days trying to dump my materialistic self, and read MN more. x

Go to car boot sales. They're the graveyard of materialism. You'll see multiple copies of last year's 'must have' item on sale for pennies. It puts consumerism into perspective and makes me wonder wtf we're all striving for the latest this that or the other.

I find trawling charity shops/boot sales far more satisfying than just buying new stuff. It feels like an achievement when I find what I'm looking for.

I know this sounds trite but try growing some veg. Get a courgette plant at a boot sale in the summer for 50p. It's an elemental kind of satisfaction to see food appearing from nowhere.

We also forage a lot of free fruit in the summer. It's a lovely, outdoorsy family hobby. I've just made a winter compote of foraged quince, damsons and blackberries which were I dumped in the freezer a few months ago. I also made a granola topping from foraged walnuts and Tesco value oats. It's virtually free.

I've just looked at your profile ProfYaffle and you have an allotment and you keep chicken.

We grow our own veg and go foraging but just do not have the space for chicken. Sigh.

Materialism has its place but some people are thousands in debt and for what? The right label or more clothes than they can possibly wear. It is madness.

I'd forgotten I'd done a profile!

Are you sure you don't have space for chickens? We have a back yard about 6m x 4m and we have a small coop with just 2 chickens. I'd love to have some more though.

We probably do have space but DH is a bit sad precious about the lawn.

I have to hold my hands up, they do trash the lawn. Luckily my dh doesn't give a toss.