I think I have just been unreasonable...

[BlueberryPancake]

I shouted at a (secondary school) boy probably 12 yo because he jumped in front of my car and I nearly hit him. I mean, nearly hit him by a could of inches. I had to do an emergency break with my two kids at the back. I was FUrious. I got out of the car and shouted at him. I didn't sware or use any abusive language but I did shout very loudly. I wish I hadn't shouted so much and so loudly, he is going to be traumatised for the rest of his life.

He came running on the street out of nowhere, there were cars blocking my vision, and I could have killed him.

It's an adrenalin response and entirely natural, YANBU at all.

And, tbh if he's traumatised for the rest of his life so what? Maybe it'll teach him to stop stepping out without looking and actually HAVE a rest of his life.

I had similar yesterday btw (schoolkid walked out from behind a bus, oblivious to the traffic with her ipod on looking at her phone). I was a bit further away than you so didn't have to slam on too hard. I know she hadn't heard me coming at all (and I drive a 1968 Morris Minor, so it's not exactly a stealthy vehicle ) from her reaction to my horn hooting - she literally jumped. I gave her my best Paddington Bear stare as she turned to look and she mouthed sorry. Hopefully she's learnt her lesson.

I sometimes think that people should know about true trauma and the terrible things that happen on an ongoing basis to small children before they start talking about "traumatising for life" because they were shouted at for doing something ineffably stupid

I have had a bad week with a number of terrifying neglect cases and tbh this may well be a proverbial straw

it is normal to shout at a child for doing something dangerous

YANBU

but....about a year ago dh was driving when a car being driven by a 17 year old came flying around a corner and nearly hit him, dh had to swerve to avoid it

he followed the car and had words with the boy, who immediately said sorry and said he'd only just passed his test

dh is quite imposing and told him off sternly but swears blind he didn't shout at him

when he got home he called the school (dh's old school) and told the headteacher of the incident but didn't give the kid's name over as he felt he'd learned his lesson

anyway next thing we know dh was charged with breach of the peace and fined

the kid's mum called the police on dh for scaring her son. the son who was driving so dangerously outside a school, with 4 passengers aged 14 up, round the corner form our house

dh genuinely thought he was doing the right thing but it's ended up being a nightmare

FWIW I would shout at a child for endangering his/her own life and that of others but it doesn't always work out for the best...

YANBU A 6yo boy in my street did this shen my DS then 4yo was in the back. I shouted at him and got DS out and took boy to his parents house and quite unleashed told his father if his DS wasn't aware of road dangers he should be supervised out on it, and that I didn't want the guilt of knowing I'd run over and seriously injured, at worse, killed a young child.

2 Weeks later the boy deliberatly ran out in front of my car (about 50ms away) pulling a face. I rang police and SS. He has only just begun to play out alone again aged 8.