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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I think I have just been unreasonable...

54 replies

BlueberryPancake · 07/01/2011 16:51

I shouted at a (secondary school) boy probably 12 yo because he jumped in front of my car and I nearly hit him. I mean, nearly hit him by a could of inches. I had to do an emergency break with my two kids at the back. I was FUrious. I got out of the car and shouted at him. I didn't sware or use any abusive language but I did shout very loudly. I wish I hadn't shouted so much and so loudly, he is going to be traumatised for the rest of his life.

He came running on the street out of nowhere, there were cars blocking my vision, and I could have killed him.

OP posts:

Figgyrolls · 07/01/2011 18:00

You gave the silly sod a short sharp shock, as well as yourself, don't feel guilty. YANBU

TrappedinSuburbia · 07/01/2011 18:04

I hope you scared the shit out him enough so he never runs out on the road again without looking. You've done him a favour.

JJ · 07/01/2011 18:05

I have a 12 year old boy and I would be hugely massively thankful that you had not only stopped in time, but also shouted at him - I would hope that he was too terrified to ever do it again. He feels invincible sometimes but will always pay attention to a good telling off and do what he needs to avoid that in the future.

IAmReallyFabNow · 07/01/2011 18:07

YANBU.

I had a child step out in front of my car. Luckily I saw him and was expecting him to do it so was already going slow. I got out and asked his mate what his name was and what school he was at and phoned the school to tell them. The appreciated it.

Before Christmas two children stepped out in front of me on a blind corner and if it had been anyone else going round that corner they would have been hit. They were only about 7. Not sure why they were walking to school on their own at that age.

LittleMissHissyFit · 07/01/2011 18:18

You yelled at him because he scared you, we all do that, even with our own DC. His own MOTHER would have done the same.

Thank God you weren't speeding, thank goodness you weren't distracted, and stopped in time.

I think you did exactly the right thing FWIW. He needed to be shocked into thinking about road safety.

BarkisIsWilling · 07/01/2011 18:20

Thoroughly reasonable. One cannot always be reasonalbe.

WhereYouLeftIt · 07/01/2011 18:37

YANBU, that is precisely the sort of thing that children should be shouted at for.

As a matter of interest OP, "but I should have spoken to him more calmly" - why do you think that?

Original poster

BlueberryPancake · 07/01/2011 18:51

Because he's a kid and I said 'think about what your parents would feel like to receive a call saying that you are in hospital' I was a bit irrational and he was probably only 12 or 13. And my throat was hurting once I was finished...

OP posts:

sweetcornfortea · 07/01/2011 18:53

not unreasonable to shout

WimpleOfTheBallet · 07/01/2011 18:58

Deadei...I want to see you "unfurl" that sounds amazing! Will try it on the next brats who endanger me or themselves!

slartybartfast · 07/01/2011 18:59

yanbu
i think 11 or 12 is the WORST age for rta's like this

mathanxiety · 07/01/2011 18:59

You were probably awash with adrenaline and actually not able to do anything about your choice of words or jumping out of the car, just as slamming on the brakes wasn't something you could consciously think about.

Pat yourself on the back for being alert and missing him.

YANBU.

daytoday · 07/01/2011 19:03

YANBU

This actually happened to me as a child. It was all my fault. I ran out into the road, between parked cars. heading for the sweet shop, straight into the path of a car. The car screeched to a halt and I banged on the bonnet. The lady driver got out. She was shaking and wanted to see I was ok. I was fine. Once she knew that she went BESERK -

This experience still stays with me - I'm nearly 40 now! It wasn't the fact that she shouted that affected me - it was how upset she was. She was shaking. She was so worried she could have hit me. Its a drivers worst nightmare isn't it. I was about 12 at the time. It made me feel really bad. I was much more careful crossing roads after that.

hmc · 07/01/2011 19:03

Blueberry - don't be so hard on yourself. When I was 8 I ran into the road without looking and a car did an emergency stop. The driver asked sternly "How old are you" - I replied "8" and he said in a very angry voice whilst wagging his finger "Well you won't make it to your 9th birthday if you carry on like that"

I felt stupid, embarassed and properly told off - but the driver did me a favour by showing me, in his reaction, the gravity of my stupid mistake

Melaniefhappy · 07/01/2011 19:42

Don't be sorry.

Two years ago, before reversing in a car park I looked one way, looked the other, looked again and then very slowly and gingerly reversed. I quickly put my foot on the brake (basically instantly) when I saw a mum and her kid next to my car (just where had they come from??) and the woman yelled several rather choice items at me about not looking where I was going. I had done but I had just not looked IN FRONT of my stationary car to see her and her son weaving through the car park several rows over ....I should have realised she might very well surface behind me at some point ...and then cross behind me...

However I thank this woman every time I reverse as her words literally echo in my ears.. EVERY time..and last week I was reversing out of a supermarket bay and checked, checked, checked and the fourth checked quite literally saved the 6 year old who had sprinted out from behind the rows of cars parked parallel (right next to me) in the car park- second time this has happened to me.

The 6 year old's mum caught my eye and shouted at her child to be careful ..after the fact - not a dikky bird to me or even a smile of thanks despite the fact that if it had been someone else, her son might well have been flattened ...and I would never have slept at night again.

So thanks to being bollocked two years ago by someone, I am now paranoid about reversing. Rightly so and thanks whoever you were! There you go. YANBU.

jugglingjo · 07/01/2011 20:09

And it shows that you are a nice person that when you were pretty mad at a kid you'd come near to hitting in your car (but didn't !) you didn't say he could have died, and only mentioned he could be in hospital.

It must all have been a horrible shock.

I really think you did very well, especially for driving carefully, and having quick reactions.

Laquitar · 07/01/2011 20:17

Do you feel any better Blueberry?
Did you have a drink?

Original poster

BlueberryPancake · 07/01/2011 20:26

Getting a drink now. Feeling better thanks for your messages!

OP posts:

Grumpla · 07/01/2011 20:29

YANBU, enjoy your evening. Thank goodness you were able to stop.

pointythings · 07/01/2011 20:29

Totally, definitely, NBU. I'd have done the same, and as a parent would have been grateful.

LadyOfTheManor · 07/01/2011 20:33

Ah, well as a shit fellow driver, perhaps it'll make him look twice next time :o

Fontsnob · 07/01/2011 20:34

YANBU
Not saying that this boy did this but we have had to speak to kids in assembly about not walking out in front of cars. This is at secondary age too, they walk out and just expect cars to stop! Or push each other off the pavement. It is crazy.

jugglingjo · 07/01/2011 20:40

If you have a faith at all you could send up a quick prayer. (Or even if you don't.)

Along the lines,
"Thank you God that I didn't hit him"
Perhaps add,
"Keep him safe as he travels through life !"

I find this sort of thing quickly brings a good sense of perspective to situations

coatgate · 08/01/2011 11:43

Congratulations - a full house of YANBU!

gorionine · 08/01/2011 11:48

YANBU, at least you did not start running after him, barefoot and screaming like a banshee like I did to my neighbours son who found very funny to tie a rope going from one side of the road to the other about 1m high off the gound. I kept taking it off he kept puting it back and I eventuially lost patience.

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