or is Pamela Stephenson's blase attitude to apparent rape really scary?

[quiddity]

She's concerned about this "poor man" who can only enjoy it if he starts having sex with his girlfriend when she's asleep. Unless Pammy edited out some crucial details, then as a number of commentators have pointed out--that's rape!

Pamela Stephenson is just a weirdo with some very odd ideas. IMO.

Pamela Stephenson isn't what I'd call a "normal person". Theres something a bit odd and nutty about her.

I certainly wouldn't worry about anything she said.

Unless I'm missing something crucial,all she appears to be doing is giving an explanation as to why he might be doing this, not saying it's a good idea.

Presumably the woman wakes up when he initiates intercourse and either carries on with him, thereby consenting, or tells him to bog off.

Surely it would be only rape if she stayed fast asleep and he just used her body or if he carried on when she made it clear she didn't want to.

If he has already initated intercourse then it is rape as there is no consent ... she is asleep!!!

It says that he initiated sex whilst she was asleep not that she woke up to find him inside her. I presumed that there was a small amount of foreplay involved which woke her up.

There's just not enough information there to make a judgement.

I would say Pamela Stephenson is the Gillian McKeith equivalent in her "field".

Oh God I loathe Dr Pam.

I saw her interviewed many times she is such an utter idiot

what is scary is not that she thinks this stuff so much as the fact that the Guardian gives her print space for it! (And probably pays her too.)

what charliesmommy said - in spades! I would never turn to pammy for sex advice!

I would worry about any person who has been given a public platform not taking rape seriously. Her advice is nonsense and potentially dangerous.
All stages of sex should be consensual, you can't get consent from someone who is sleeping.
His apparent need for a passive partner is very worrying.

Am I the only person on Mumsnet who likes to be woken up with sex? C'mon no-one really sleeps through it!

Ive often wondered about her qualifications, Ive seen her described as a "psychotherapist" and a "psychologist" - has she done any proper training at all, or is it some mickey mouse qualification. As a Nurse working in psychotherapy I know how long some of the training can be, I am a Nurse Therapist but I cant call myself a psychotherpaist because Im not.

She does have a phd, not sure what in, I thought psychology?

I make myself not read Pamela Stephenson's column as it always makes me angry. Her default answer to everything seems to be "he can't help being a pervert/doing things you don't like, why don't you show some support and join in, even though you've said you've tried it and it made you feel sick."

She has a very strange attitude to sex, and I suspect, to other women.

Well said LeQueen.

She should stick to dancing!Is she a 'real' psychiatrist?I doubt it

A psychiatrist is a medically trained doctor who specilises in psychiatry.

I think PS is a psychologist, she can call herself a doctor because she has a phd.

I very much doubt she would have this column if she wasn't a celebrity.

Yes - while she has actually studied her subject and had her PhD, I can't believe it's a coincidence that the Guardian picked someone who also happens to be famous as a resident therapy columnist. You would really hope they would be above going for the celebrity choice.

I always get pamela stephenson and Pamela Anderson confused.

I'm confused as to why she wouldn't see it as an issue. SHe writes about her husband's abuse at thehands of his father. I believe that's what his dad used to do to him

I really want to respect her for being successful, talented and very attractive, but then she ruins it by writing such weird advice in her columns.

More sage advice from Pamela Stephenson. Boyfriend pressurising you to try things you are uncomfortable with? It's because he's feeling objectified, poor lamb, and wants to know that you trust him.