or is Pamela Stephenson's blase attitude to apparent rape really scary?

[quiddity]

She's concerned about this "poor man" who can only enjoy it if he starts having sex with his girlfriend when she's asleep. Unless Pammy edited out some crucial details, then as a number of commentators have pointed out--that's rape!

I'm with LeQueen.

Her attitude is concerning, and it is rape - I don't imagine the bloke said to her before hand "Darling do you mind if we get it on once you're asleep?". And more cruical than that, the woman is bothered by what's going on.

Pam S holds some very odd veiws. And is quite odd in general IMO.

YANBU at all. I was totally horrified by this when I read it at lunchtime. Seems to be her standard sort of advice though, she seems to view women as no better than slaves/maids/sex toys. Yes LeQueen and SirBoob, it certainly is rape. Shocking advice from a so-called mental health professional

she is one of the reasons why I never get the Guardian.

BettyCash:

It's my favourite way to be woken up, the difference is that I've told my boyfriend I want him to do it and he wouldn't keep doing it if he wasn't sure that I liked it.

I love being woken up with sex - but in my experience that means sleepy cuddles, gradual sleepy awareness of DH, then sex - not waking up to find someone who can't climax when awake is in the process of using my body to reach orgasm. That is truly horrible.

I'm surprised the Guardian wouldn't require Dr. Pam Whatsername to write a disclaimer about consensual sex - it's amazing she doesn't even mention it.

Exactly, QueenStromba. The woman who asked her for advice isn't enjoying it. She says "After sex, or attempts at sex, he's quite cold and impassive, and doesn't want to talk about it."
It sounds horrible.

Never read her colum before but it does seem she gives strange advice. Seems there are bigger issues that need to be addressed but the advice thats given is a bit too deep, hopefully there are more to the letters than is actually published.

this is weird advice too

How about be careful sleeping with people you met online, is the anyone you could talk to in rl etc. Id go for that before write your body a letter

This "advice" just gets more and more disturbing!