So what is it exactly I have been doing for the past 5 years?

[carocaro]

DS2 starts school in Sept 2011 and me and DH were just talking about it and he said " you can get on now and do some actual work then"

He went out to his work straight after, whilst I am left fuming. What have I been doing for the past 5 years then?

We always agreed and I wanted to be a SAHM till both children were at school, I've helped him with his business, kept my hand in with work here and there and sold stuff, lots off in on ebay when things were very tough due to redundancy. Done all the other stuff to do with the house, budget, food - you know all the stuff.

I am just AGHAST that he has just been such a total prick and does not have one ounce of acknowledgement for the past five years.

if i were in the OPs position then instead of getting all precious i would just say:

"yes, it will be great to get out of the house, have lunchbreaks all to myself, and you, DH, will have to do half of all the housework - i can't wait "

i'm sure he hasn't considered that side of it all.

FWIW my dh has been the SAHD for a brief period and would happily and openly say he found it very difficult and feels he has the easier "job".

He finds a day at work far easier than a day doing what I do. He works long hours in a job with high responsibilities, although I am not sure that is relevant - most jobs are hard!
I used to work and when I did had far less to do in the house as I do now. No one was here so it didn't get messed up, some of the dcs meals were provided at nursery so I didn't have to deal with that, someone else entertained them so I didn't have to think about that, I had company so I didn't have to make an effort on that front and so on...
I am a SAHM now because of childcare costs a few years ago and I love what I do but it is a misconception to believe that I spread out what a working parent does in the evening over the whole day. Yes, some of the jobs are the same and yes, being a working parent is exhausting (hats off to you all) but that equation doesn't quite add up.

Well said, carrots. (Can't believe I just typed that. Must be time for bed.)

I suggest that you go on strike/ come down with a nasty illness for a few days. he may appreciate you a bit more. Ear infection suggested.... wail with pain whilst holding ears... pretend to lose balance as ears are full of gunk.. can't bend down without wincing or in your case screaming with pain...
had a real ear infection, (the bugger is kicking off again) and a couple of days part time in bed(catching up on sleep after nursing dcs several hours a night for 7 days) dh actually admitted that he needed me.. (rather than complaining that this that or the other had not been done) he even admitted it was so hard looking after the children that he couldn't get anything else done!!!!!

that shouuld last another couple of days at most though.

Blimey.

His snipe about work pissed me off because there seemed to be no acknowledgement at all of the job I have been doing as a SAHM, that I had been pissing about having a laugh for five years and it did not really matter that it was me the "MOTHER" doing it, as it really could have been anyone, as the contribution to the family/household could have been given by anyone at a really and it was about time I bought some cash in then I would really matter - if you see what I mean.

I did talk to him about it and he said it was a snipe aboout the lack of cash we have, but admitted he had failed to see it my my POV in any way. Just because you don't get cash for it does not mean it has high value. Not all things should be measure in the pile of cash they create.

I just felt very undervalued by it. As for being a working parent and a SAHM they two cannot be compared, like cheese and a car, becacuse they are so different and are done for such different reasons.

I would not mind his "work" right now, three nights in Florence at an exhibition with nice meals out everynight and YES I know it'shard work standing on a exhibition stand all day and having to talk to clients etc. I do get it.

you havent being doing a job.you are a sahp.parent is role and responsibilities,tasks.we are all parents.you are paraent at home but you cannot equate it to 5yr work.it isnt

but yes your contribution and input is valuable, as is fact he is sole earner and supports the family,this isnt about who does most who has it hardest.isnt a competition to see who most hard done by

your input and time with your children is worthy and special and contributes to overall family unit.as does his work

and whilst you dont see everything should be measured in cash/economic units it is his earning facilitates you being at home