To not quite understand the fuss over Eastenders

[MistletoeMush]

This may have already been done, but I just don't understand all the fuss. Its a story, the people involved are not real. Surely one of the purposes of drama is to explore situations, dilemas, emotions etc which it would not be possible to explore in real life. Also are soaps not famous for tackiling difficult issues, murder, teen pregnancy, rape, kidnap, violence, disasters, adultary, death by various means. Why is this storyline so much worse?

Yup, I've read them. I think it's a crap and badly researched storyline. But I just don't think that it's going to be a widespread influence on how people respond to bereaved parents.

"But I just don't think that it's going to be a widespread influence on how people respond to bereaved parents."

Well by all accounts they are treated pretty badly & whilst EE hasn´t caused that, it´s done nothing to counter it.

I think a lot of it depends on whether you just see it as an unrealistic drama/soap, or a programme with responsibilities as it is watched by so many-and will happily take praise for a well handled storyline when it is given.

But from my POV, with the way storylines have been unrealistic/sensationalisd in the past, I wonder why anyone thought that this would be treated differently.

well it has made sky news with the mn debate.

OP YANBU

Swan you are right I was curious about why there was such a big reaction to this storyline when other challenging storylines in the past have not recieved so much attention.

Diddl I think that your last point is correct. Why are people suprised that EE has sensationalised this story?

All this protest and media coverage has done is increase ratings for EE, which has long struck me (though I don't watch it and haven't done for a long time) as a programme delighting in violence and unpleasantness.

The producers will be delighted. That's why I question the wisdom of a MN protest.

dee - do you think that the "us and them" scenario you describe is at least partly caused by the fact that anyone who expresses a different opinion is told to shut up and f**k off, that they have no idea what they are talking about and that their opinion is not valid? That's certainly the feeling I got from the other two threads. Very few people are going to post knowing that they are going to shouted down and insulted, and that might well be why the view is said to be "unanimous". Whilst I sympathise with those of you who have suffered the terrible terrible loss of their precious babies, and think myself incredibly lucky to have two healthy children, I am still entitled to an opinion, and to express that opinion on a forum of which I am a member.

EvilTwins, no matter what the topic there are those not of the minority view who feel silenced. That's every topic. It's just weight of numbers I would say combined with the very high emotion of the issue.

its good that ee have tried to spread awareness over cot death - and i think the way kat and alfie showing their grief has been portrayed well

but everyone is up in arms over the baby swapping - esp those who have lost a child (and my heart goes out to all of you) and all of you are saying its not what a normal sane new mum would do

but

in ee, ronnie is not a normal sane mum

she was raped by her dad many times

she had a dd at 13/14 who she had to give up

she had a mc

she found out her boyfriend slept with her sister and got pregnant

she found her dd and knew her for one day before being killed in front of her

she found out her mum KNEW her dad was raping her, but did nothing

she had another mc

she found out her dad raped someone else

her dad got murdered

she lost her own son one day old to cot death

tbh if all of that happened to someone,surely you may do the same as ronnie .........

all she wants is to be a mum

sure she will end up in a mental hospital once she gets found out

Gah - typed a lengthy reply and it vanished.

EvilTwins - As far as i am concerned you are absolutely entitled to your opinion, and i have no problem with that whatsoever - why on earth would i?

I think, imho, a lot of this 'us and them' feeling is bourne from frustration and the feeling that we seem to be banging our head off a wall, going round and round in circles, if you will. It seems to go like this;

'We're complaining about this because we feel strongly that it's wrong'

'But it's not real, it's only a soap, turn off the TV if you don't like it'

' Yes, we know it's not real etc, but we feel we must say/do something because of XYZ'

'But it's not real, it's a soap, switch channels'

'But can you not see that this is why we feel we need to complain?'

'But it's a soap, not real, switch off'

'Yes, we know all this, but this 'XYZ' is why we feel strongly about it'

'Oh get a grip, its not real, turn the tv off'

And so it continues, until someone loses the will to live and snaps.

Yes, you're very entitled to tell us that it's only a soap, that it's not real, that we should turn our TV's off, in fact lots of people have said that, and very vociferously. Just like we are equally entitled to say that actually, no, we think this is wrong and this is what we're doing about it.

I think the point is that those who have complained/spoken out are very well aware that it's not real, it's only a soap ect. We do not need to be told this every fifth post.

I don't want an us and them situation at all. If you don't agree with our stance then fine - that's your right, but please let us say our piece without the constant barrages of the above.

Frankly it's tiring and trying and wearing.

You have your opinion, i have mine. Fine. Great.

Now lets agree to disagree and please just let it go.

and as i said on demented's thread

Any midwife worth her salt would have queried the

20% weigh loss - FAR TOO HIGH

Lack of club foot

ESP as another baby of same age dies across the square .....

I don't think the only count-argument in being expressed in the anti- EE threads is that its not real. My point was that I was unsure why this particular storyline had recieved so much attention when EE is well-known for presenting challenging and controversial storylines.

Mistletoe I have complained about this because it is the straw that has broken this particular camels back .
I am fed up as a bereaved mum of being portrayed as some kind of loop .
I can honestly say that I don't remember ever seeing a mum whose child has died behaving in a strong and dignified manner (and believe me when I say that I notice these story lines )

All the mums I know whose children have died are very strong , very aware of others feelings and on the whole stay silent for fear of upsetting others .

This is why I have complained .

I have no idea why people who have been affected by other story lines haven't complained so strongly . But surely the fact that this time people have actually tells you something ? They have got it spectacularly wrong and it pisses us off .

agree with many posters above and op - soaps invariably deal with many differing tragic situations in generally slightly (or hugely) bizarre ways... don't honestly understand, even having read lot of posts, what is so different about this one.. Think my main issue with the arguement is that I find it strange that so many people want to restrict scriptwriters to writing about a subject only in an acceptable (to them) way... I've no problem with people not liking it, thinking its stupid, ridiculous, offensive whatever, but I don't like the idea that some people want to insist that some topics are only dealt with in a specific way

Tell me exactly, II31, how exactly you would deal with this storyline?

I'm not a script writer so I've no idea! I'm an audience member rarely of EE tho over christmas have seen a bit of this story... and I think from what i've seen that the whole no one noticing its a different baby thing is nonsensical and fairly stupid..

yanbu.

Am so relieved that some other brave MNers are willing to say the same.
Not that I watch EE, but from the little I can glean from the media coverage I have been unable to avoid, I don't think it's a storyline about SIDS at all. That's the mistake. It's a storyline, in which infant death happens to feature, about a deranged person.

Travelling thank you for sharing your thoughts. I think you are absolutely right to complain if don't agree with the way that bereaved parents are being protrayed. I started this thread because I wondered why this story in particular had been so heavily critised not because I thought it was wrong to complain. Its certainly better to take action about something and complain rather than just moaning about it and doing nothing. How do you feel about Kat, do you think she is a more accurate portrayal of a bereaved parent?

travelling

I am so sorry that you feel bereaved parents are seen as being demented (sorry if thats the wrong word). I am not a bereaved parent, so I dont have your perspective

I dont know anymore. I think the reaction has been overhyped to say the least, and I'm with the OP

but in parallel I am upset that its upset people, if that makes sense?

its easy for me to say @people dont think bereaved parents are crazy@

but I have not been on the receiving end either

OP YANBU.

I have beem womdering why this is such an issue. My first thought is if you don;t like it use your remote - you do not have to watch.

My second after reading this thread and considering I type up mental health papers most week days I have to say that I could see someone who has been through what Ronnie has been through doing somehting like this. Really this is not all that far fetched - if you knew what went on in some mental health services you would be more than stunned.

On the flip side I think Kat and Alfie are dealing with it in a very dignified controlled manner and I really think that does balance things up.

As for poeple who worry that people look at them when they have lost a child and are near their children - I think slight paranoia creeps in and people are probably more worried about how you are feeling than what yu are going to do to their baby.

I agress, MadameC, and today's episode touched on that with people's reactions to Alfie.

MadameC I am perhaps the least paranoid person you could ever meet.
Also as travelling has said 'we' are constantly trying to put others at ease in our presence and go out of our way to ensure people are not upset. In fact this often entails us saying things that are totally untrue so we do not leave others in an awkward situation!
e.g. How are you?,, Fine (Of course I'm not fine, but for me to tell you how I really am will make you feel uncomfortable!)
I'm so sorry, thank you - it's ok (um no its not but how else do you answer)

This is the life 'we' are living

Earlier on, dee said "It saddens me though, that this seems to be turning into an 'us and them' scenario", and yet that is exactly what it's become again.

Why are people who have not suffered the dreadful loss of a child not allowed to have an opinion about this?

Where have i said that you aren't allowed to have an opinion??