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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not quite understand the fuss over Eastenders

199 replies

MistletoeMush · 06/01/2011 14:58

This may have already been done, but I just don't understand all the fuss. Its a story, the people involved are not real. Surely one of the purposes of drama is to explore situations, dilemas, emotions etc which it would not be possible to explore in real life. Also are soaps not famous for tackiling difficult issues, murder, teen pregnancy, rape, kidnap, violence, disasters, adultary, death by various means. Why is this storyline so much worse?

OP posts:
mumbar · 06/01/2011 17:02

I have (luckily), not had to deal with the death of my own child, but sadly the death of pupils. (SEN school).

I can understand why parents are upset about the fact Ronnie is being portrayed as deranged.

However, they are showing how she is unable to cope with what she has done, that she suddenly realised that she had made a mistake.

No greiving parent I have met has ever wanted anyone elses child, just their own back.

Iheard on the news this morning the actress who plays Ronnie has quit and is unhappy with the storyline herself. That speaks volumes.

Can I also just say that those parents who have had a child, baby die or be born sleeping I respect your honesty with regards to your posts on here.

spikeycow · 06/01/2011 17:20

I hate this storyline. The main thing I don't like is the assumption that Ronnie would want someone elses baby after losing her own. Reminds me of people saying "you can have another baby" after someone miscarries. Children aren't replacable

spikeycow · 06/01/2011 17:21

Oh, people have just said that Blush

2shoes · 06/01/2011 17:21

the bit that gets me is that it is such an evil thing to do, to inflict that grief on another parent, then watch it unfold.

diddl · 06/01/2011 17:25

It is dreadful though that some mothers feel that they are being "demonised" because of an unrealistic soap "twist".

tyzer2001 · 06/01/2011 17:45

I'm guessing that most of you have boycotted watching it as you don't seem to know what you're talking about?

She's not acting out of 'evil' and she's regretting what she's done massively but doesn't know how/is terrified to put it right. It's very easy to say 'just own up' but she's got herself into a ridiculously tangled mess and is scared to own up, and to have to tell Jack his child is dead etc.

tyzer2001 · 06/01/2011 17:46

And she doesn't 'want' another baby, in fact she can hardly bear to look at him!

StuffingGoldBrass · 06/01/2011 17:48

I would have thought market traders and garage mechanics would have more of a reason to complain about being unrealistically portrayed than anyone - let alone publicans. Anyone in Eastenders who does this sort of work invariably ends up a cancer-riddled rapist or rape victim who burns down the pub, eats his/her own mother and then finds out he's his/her new partner's long lost lovechild.

Frankly, this is all just hype to get people to watch the bloody thing. If you don't like it, go and watch something else, or you could even try reading a book.

MassiveKnob · 06/01/2011 17:55

But Dot does fold a nice sheet. I should think many a laundress (?) in real life would aspire to fold like she doth Grin

Perhaps this is the 'point of reference' the beed are talking about.

MassiveKnob · 06/01/2011 17:56

beeb

wannaBe · 06/01/2011 18:06

"You are entitled to your opinions as are those who think it is a rediculous
programme and feel anyone who actually believes it is real must be barmy." But that's just the thing - anyone who has dared come out and said that "it's not real, switch it off" has been totally dismissed as being uncaring/unfeeling/clearly has never lost a child so doesn't know what they're talking about... etc.

it is a hideous storyline and is totally wrong. And I can absolutely see why those who have lost a child are so offended by it.

I can also see why someone might initially watch the programme and then complain about it. What I don't understand is why someone who has not seen it would complain about it, or why someone would watch it to become offended by it so they can complain about it.

It is a story - it is not real. The television has an off switch - you are not obliged to watch it. Except we have all now been forced to watch it, because the complaints mean that clips of it are being played on the radio/the news/chat shows/the list is endless. I don't want to watch it. I haven't watched eastenders for nearly seven years and I wish to continue not watching it. I don't wish to be forced to not watch any other programmes because others can't exercise their ability to switch off the television instead of increasing our exposure to this unrealistic, badly thought out crap that masquerades as entertainment.

And the number of complaints has forced the viewing figures up by over 10% - they had over eleven million viewers on Monday, so the complaints have had the opposite effect - there's no such thing as bad publicity.

The only thing that works for these shows is to not watch them. The fewer viewers they have the less likely they are to continue these types of storylines.

The point has been made. Please can it be let go now. When I switch on the evening news I wish to see what is going on in the real world, not to have to watch clips of depressing soap operas I made a conscious choice not to watch several years ago.

frozenfestiveflo · 06/01/2011 18:13

I really can't say anything that hasn't already been said but yes I too am beyond insulted that a bereaved mother is being portrayed as a baby thief.
I have said before when my little boy was born sleeping I couldnt leave the house, he was full term, I couldnt look at, be in the same room or even the same supermarket as another baby, I couldnt bear to hear another baby cry and I couldnt hold another baby for 8 months. I didnt want anyone else's baby I wanted MINE - mine that had been what felt like stolen from me - that was the overriding feeling - he had been stolen - why would I contemplate stealing someone else's. Perhaps 'we' could be shown on tv with the dignity which we really have!

2shoes · 06/01/2011 18:44

it is about to be on the ITV news

shinyrobot · 06/01/2011 19:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wukter · 06/01/2011 19:13

Shiney there's plebty of bereaved mothers and others on this site who have explained very eloquently why they found it offensive. Not odd at all.

People should know the difference between reality and fiction, yes. But tv is a tricksy medium, soaps in particular. Rememeber all those old ladies handbagging soap baddies in supermarkets? That's an extreme example of the boundaries blurring.
As someone said above EE can't on one hand accept accolades about their realistic portrayal of difficult issues and on the other say it's only fiction, we're not here to receive accolades on our realistic portrayal of difficult issues.

LillianGish · 06/01/2011 19:15

I think the huge "fuss" here stems from the fact that Mumsnet has a lot of members who have lost children so it rather strikes at the heart. I agree with all those who say it is a soap opera - what do you expect, but can fully understand why such a storyline must be almost unwatchable for anyone who has been in that situation themselves. It is far-fetched, but no more so than many other storylines - I dare say if this were a chatroom for people coming off drugs there would have been a huge outcry about the unrealistic way Phil's drug addiction was portrayed. Babies are our area of expertise so it's more obvious when they get wrong (does anyone know who looks after Roxy and Heather's babies by the way? - they are hardly ever with them and childcare arrangements are rarely discussed). I don't honestly think anyone watching EE thinks it is a documentary - I can't imagine anyone seeing the storyline and thinking their baby was at risked of being snatched by a friend whose baby had died, but if you can't have your say about it on Mumsnet then we might as well pack up and go home.

PaisleyLeaf · 06/01/2011 20:43

If Kat now went and stole a baby - well that would make me Hmm about the show's handling of bereavement.

LadyOfTheManor · 06/01/2011 20:48

I was driving today and heard MN's Kate on Radio 4 fighting the corner that it is "unacceptable"...I can't remember of the guy defending EE but he seemed like a pompous prick. The presenter was on Kate's side.

I personally don't see all the fuss, then again I don't particularly watch it. I lost my brother to cot death/SIDS...and while my mum had a nervous breakdown she didn't attempt to steal a child...and while I appreciate some women are not left mentally imbalanced, I think it can affect some women (like the woman in Bath who pushes a pram around with her which contains a doll and some newspapers)...

Panzee · 06/01/2011 20:51

She's regretting it though - she's not acting like she's happily replaced a baby.

LadyOfTheManor · 06/01/2011 20:55

I might be out of my depth here, but momentary "madness" kind of makes sense to me. I haven't lost a child so perhaps it's wrong of me to assume.

Tokyotwist · 06/01/2011 20:59

Very well said wannaBe

Switch it off people. It is and has always been a load of tosh.

whoknowswhatthefutureholds · 06/01/2011 21:06

it's the constant portyal of bereaved mothers as being mentally ill. If it were a one off it would be ok but it feels relentless.

MrsPennySworth · 06/01/2011 21:14

I don't watch eastenders but I can understand why lots of people would be very offended by that particular storyline.

What I don't understand is why anyone would even want to watch a programme that acted out a baby dying of cot death anyway?? I know the news shows lots of extremely sad things happening in the world but there's still a good reason to watch it - its the news. But to choose to watch that kind of horrific storyline on a soap? Its so upsetting! This completely baffles me!

porcamiseria · 06/01/2011 21:15

op yanbu
but its a very minority view on MN!

I still think that MN "might" could be used to fight a worthier cause than this

EvilTwins · 06/01/2011 21:19

porca - I totally agree with you. I'm not happy that this is being portrayed as the "majority" view.

I think it's a depressing storyline, but on MN the focus is completely on the fact that Ronnie is being portrayed as a nutter. What about Kat, Alfie and the rest of their family? The scenes with them are heartrending, and, presuambly more "normal" in terms of a response to cot death (OK, I know their baby hasn't actually died, but they think he has)

I am a secondary school drama teacher, and have discussed this storyline with two separate Yr 9 classes this week. The overwhelming opinion was that the storyline is ridiculous - most kids said something along the lines of "it's stupid. That would never happen", so the argument being bandied around about people believing what they see on TV isn't really a valid one - if a bunch of 13 year olds can see that it's not realistic, then I don't think we need to worry too much about the adult population.

I won't say any of that on the other threads though - for fear of being sworn at and told that I have no opinion.