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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to NOT be worried about my kids getting flu/swine flu?

50 replies

babeinthewood · 06/01/2011 03:06

DS2 had it at a year old, he was poorly and fevery but we kept his fluids up and he got over it with a course of tamiflu (which they reported the following week didnt work anyway! so worth the hassle of getting it into him!)

my two boys were offered the jab to which I politely declined ds2 cant have it anyway because he had the tamiflu.

Im just not concerned, I trust my instincts enough to know if my kids are that ill that they need medical attention, outside of that its just flu! IMO

OP posts:
libelulle · 06/01/2011 04:47

It's just a numbers game isn't it . Yanbu to think they'll probably be fine. Yabu if you think having a child seriously ill with flu is only for 'other people'- it can happen to anyone.
As an aside, why can you not have the vaccine if you've had tamiflu? I did, and I have.

Tee2072 · 06/01/2011 06:46

Where did she say it was 'for other people'? She said if they got it, she'd get them medical attention.

I agree with you, Babe. Even though my son has borderline asthma (not yet diagnosed, so no flu shot) I am not fretting over this.

But I rarely fret over such things!

AnyFucker · 06/01/2011 07:30

I am not fretting either, even though the media is trying it's best (again) to whip us up into a frenzy of paranoia.

amberleaf · 06/01/2011 07:51

YANBU

Im not gonna worry myself over it either.

BootyMum · 06/01/2011 07:55

I am in two minds about this... but more in relation to my unborn child [35 weeks] than 20 mth old.

I know the current advice is that all pregnant women should have swine flu vaccination. However I am unsure whether to get it - is it really necessary, I am otherwise fit and healthy. And I really hate needles!

But could never forgive myself if I got ill and this jeopardised baby...

libelulle · 06/01/2011 08:00

She is assuming that they won't get it seriously enough that medical attention won't be enough to save them. As I said, that's completely fair enough, because the chances are indeed miniscule. But they are not zero, and I was pointing out that you cannot assume that awful things only happen to others. I never thought I'd have a ds born at 26 weeks- what are the chances? - but I did. Some poor parents out there have had their healthy children die of swine flu, and no doubt they too thought it could never happen to them. It can, and it does.

libelulle · 06/01/2011 08:06

Sorry, posted too soon, typing while bf- because like it or not flu can be that dangerous- there is a vaccine for a reason, and if her dc have been offered it they are, like mine, presumably in an at risk group. We all make risk calculations, and noone is unreasonable to do that, but it is slightly unreasonable IMO to dismiss the whole issue as simply scaremongering.

spidookly · 06/01/2011 08:18

DH had 2 bouts of swine 'flu last year.

One was mild and short, the other absolutely horrendous and terrifying. The thought of a child going through that is not something I want to contemplate.

DD1 and I have both had the vaccine. I was pregnant last winter and thankfully had decided before DH got sick 2nd time to have the jab. That kind of illness when pregnant would be very serious. DH is fit and healthy and never ill and he was flattened by it.

I'm not freaking out about DD2 getting it or anything but I don't really see what "mother's intuition" has to do with anything. If your children get a bad dose of swine 'flu they will be horribly sick and in a lot of pain, even if there is no lasting damage.

FifiFucksalot · 06/01/2011 08:24

I'm at home with my DS (7) who had flu over Christmas and has needed a hospital admission due to developing viral pneumonia and other complications.

I had asked about the flu jab back in September as we were going through an asthma diagnosis, and they were very wait and see. It was decided in December that yes, he did indeed have full blown proper asthma, not just allergy induced asthma, did need the jab and would have it on the 4th Jan.

Horse bolted and stable door now spring to mind, but he will still be having it when he is well enough to protect him from other strains of the virus.

Flu is flu and most of us will feel like shit and get over it. At risk groups are at risk for a reason. I really wish the diagnosis had come in sooner so he could have had the jab and not be as poorly as he now is.

libelulle · 06/01/2011 08:37

Spidookly that was our rationale too - I got swine flu (or so i assume, at height of first epidemic the summer before last) and it was horrific. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, let alone an asthmatic child of mine.

libelulle · 06/01/2011 08:54

And I'm also a bit Hmm at the implication in the op that there are others out there whose ' instincts' aren't developed enough to know their child needs a doctor. The point is that it's a nasty illness, doctor or no.

sarah293 · 06/01/2011 09:00

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foxinsocks · 06/01/2011 09:31

:( riven

I think it's fine for you not to be worried OP but madness to potentially think it might not affect you, even if you do get to see a doctor.

Any flu, not only swine flu, can kill perfectly healthy people. I read a horrid story yesterday about someone who worked on the Harry Potter films who went home from work feeling unwell (with flu) and never woke up :(. She was a perfectly healthy adult. And there have been a few otherwise healthy children dying like that. There was a dad at school who was off work with flu - next thing we know, he's in intensive care and he died. I think you can deteriorate extremely rapidly.

Unfortunately, I just think it is chance. Some people get it very mildly and sadly, some peope never recover from it and there's no way of knowing which camp you will be in!

Sassybeast · 06/01/2011 09:33

Woopy do for you - have a mother of the year medal.

sarah293 · 06/01/2011 09:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 06/01/2011 09:37

Riven, you, your husband and sons should all be getting a free jab from the docs because dd is in a vunerable group,to protect her. I get my flu jab every year because i'm a carer, all carers get one

foxinsocks · 06/01/2011 09:39

riven, I don't understand the vaccination policy either. Surely, in your case, it would actually be beneficial for them to vaccinate your entire family to try and ensure that dd's exposure to it was limited? (If you were pro vacc, not sure where you stand on that).

I wish they had offered it to everyone. I understand that high risk groups should be priority but I would have liked to have had the choice to vaccinate the dcs (age 9 and 10) and potentially myself and dh tbh. I know we could pay to have it done (though was told it's too late now anyway) but none of the mainstream places seem to be vaccinating children.

Bramshott · 06/01/2011 09:53

I don't think there's any benefit to getting whipped up into a frenzy of panic by reading too much in the media. TBH I haven't seen heard much about it on the radio or TV in any case - most of the panic I have seen is on here. If there were lots of flu cases near me, I guess I would be a bit worried though.

PaisleyLeaf · 06/01/2011 09:54

I'd probably feel much the same as the OP if I hadn't seen a mum I know at playgroup this time last year while her DD was poorly with swine flu. The DD is a fit, healthy 4 year old - but very ill with it. The mum was frightened and very upset. (Of course the DD was getting medical attention btw).

merryberry · 06/01/2011 10:00

Yes Riven your whole family should be given it to help reduce risk to your daughter. I' take 2 immunosupressants and mine were offered it.
If i get to the computer later I'll dig up the HPA guidance for you.

I took it myself instead, but clearly didn't sero-convert fully, as I had flu for xmas, followed by dh and the 2 ds. My flu was clearly tempered a bit by my vaccine. DH was worst off. Boys, aged 2 and 5 were only feverish for about 36 hours each and bounced back quickly.

Next year I'll get us all done thoough. was hard nursing rest of faamily when i was still ill. We had swine version, mine was tested. Didn't take tamiflu, too late by time i realised, and dh didn't want to bother for him or boys. Efficacy of it isn't so great it was worth attempting to arrange it while all so ill.

OP, just count your lucky stars that a) general health is great in your family and b) that on the whole kids aren't faring as badly as adults with this one.

My thoughts with those whose children are more severely affected.

saffy85 · 06/01/2011 10:03

Talk about a rock and a hard place Riven Sad

My DD got Swine Flu October '09 and although she had recovered exactly a week later the few days she was incredibly ill were without a doubt the most terrifying of my life, no lie. She hasn't been "right" since as she's had a chesty, rib rattling cough on and off since then (more on than off) and although she has an inhaler to treat it she could still wind up with full blown Asthma apparently. She didn't get the jab last winter as there was a mix up- apparently because she has been diagnosed with SF already they didn't send a letter asking her along. According to GP she should still have had it.

Got my jab tomorrow (17 weeks pregnant) so I'm gonna ask tomorrow if DD can also have it, even if she has to wait til another day.

NorwegianMoon · 06/01/2011 10:05

yanbu. neither of mine have or will have it.

DooinMeCleanin · 06/01/2011 10:08

I'm not panicking myself into a stupor about it, but it is apparently (according to a nurse friend) a worse strain this year than it was last year and is spreading quickly.

Dd2 had it last year and didn't seem that bad. She was ill but by no means was she at deaths door iyswim?

Two people (both relatively young but with underlying health issues) have died in our town from it Sad. One was only 21.

However I won't be rushing my dc to A and E at the slightest sign of a runny nose, which is what Dh seems to want me to do. He told me a few days ago he was dying soon as he had been in contact with someone who had swine flu symptoms Hmm

emy72 · 06/01/2011 10:13

My children haven't had the swine flu jab as they were not offered it.

My DS2 had flu over Christmas and we were abroad (typical) but to be honest I am not sure whether he's had swine flu or not but I have never seen him so poorly (he's nearly 3).

He was just lying down or sleeping on the sofa or in bed for 9, yes 9 full days, with a massive fever. I'd say he's only just got back to normal 20 days later.

He's otherwise a super healthy boy who's never had any illness at all, just the odd cold here or there. We were all really really worried about him.

Strangely his brother and sisters didn't catch it. But now I am worried that they do as I have seen how bad it can be.

pagwatch · 06/01/2011 10:19

I am obviously concerned that I or the children may get it. I am obviously watchful and attentive to their health, particularly dd who has a bizarre and very weak respiratory system having been hospitalised four or five times in the last year.

But I find the hysteria quite baffling.
And I won't/can't vaccinate so all the 'but I would never fir give myself if x happened' irritates me. That may well be unreasonable but it dies.
Parenting off the back of ' if disaster struck, however remote, I would never forgive myself' is a bit of a cop out and a bit nasty.
Firstly it implies that every thing that will ever happen to your child is directly your responsibility- the only sensible response to which is to never out them in a car or plane or feed them a nut or a kiwi.
And secondly it is an extension of the increasing tendency to blame the parents-in particular mothers- when shit happens.

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