To think this childminder is barking?

[emkana]

Friend's ds is 16 months old, has been going to childminder four days a week since September. Recently he has started pinching or hitting the other children on occasion. The cm has now said to my friend that she can't tolerate violence in her sitting, that she suspects deep-seated parenting problems and that she will give notice unless he stops. Is it me or is that completely mad when talking about a 16 month old?

I was the mum of a bitter. My DD had firm boundaries and knew it was wrong, however, she was a frustration bitter and as we all know when you are frustrated you can know something is wrong, but still do it even as an adult.
As a 16 month old with a consitent policy of managing bitting that was used by both us and nursery it took about a month to bring the worst under control, but about 4 months to completely eradicate it.
Every time nursery informed me that my child had bitten another child I went home and cried. In truth I felt far worse than on the occasions that dd was bitten.

I think biting/hitting comes down to toddler frustration/lack of communication skills/lack of discipline. It doesn't mean there are neccessarily big problems at home at home but it is something that can be worked on with stratagies.

I used to own a well regarded nursery and also a CM practice. 'Biters' can be difficult to deal with because of the other parents in the setting who feel their children are not being protected. You can supervise, especially in a smaller setting - but biting happens so quickly that it can be difficult.
However, I would be writing reports/ observations left right and centre to find what is triggering this behaviour - is it related to activities, other children, time of day etc..
Does your friend really take it seriously and help with discipline and help the CM tackle the problem?
It would have taken a lot for me to recommend a parenting course. Most children IME behave differently when away from home, so I am not sure how much a parenting course would work more than working together.

its normal for kids to bite at this age!!!

its not happening every day and its not just one child. for £30 plus a day I'd be working with parents to draw up a plan as to how to handle it - but hey its a business after all.