Call of Duty computer game...not happy...

[becaroo]

...went to see my dsis this morning.

Her 2 dc aged 7 and 5 were playing this game.

As I understand its a cert 18 game.

Am pretty appalled at her letting them play it tbh but hey, her house, her rules.

HOWEVER, she has asked ds1 to come for tea after school on monday and I absolutely do not want him playing this game (he is 7)

How do I broach the subject?

I think IABU to object to her kids playing on it tbh but feel its my right to say I dont want my ds1 playing it.

WWYD?

fabby Erm. no. Cert 18 is a cert 18 for a reason. This can include, but is not limited to showing themes of major horror/violence/swearing/sexual nature. I dont want my dc finding out about sex from a film!!!!

How can you expect a child to understand the very adult themes in these films and games????

xfirst I don't get your point. Do you mean that because some of people you can shoot dead with guns, or hack to death with knives are Nazi zombies, children won't be disturbed by it?

moomoo It sounds lovely doesnt it?

xfirst - I don't believe in Nazi zombies, honestly

I was thinking more of the ways they show killing people in that particular game. I only know all this because my son really wanted the game and I wanted to be armed with reasons why he couldn't have it - so I did a bit of reading up on it when it was coming out. I particularly remember it detailing how, for example, if you slit somebody's throat, you get slow motion close up and realistic detail of the damage you have inflicted on the person.

I'm happy for my son to play some games meant for older teenagers, but not that one - it's just a sick step too far for me.

The most violent game my DS has (he's 7) is Lego Harry Potter and he says 'Mummy, I think it's time to stop playing [after about half an hour or so] because my heart's beating really fast."

It's clear it does have a very physical effect on them; whoever thinks children are physically/emotionally unaffected by these games is living in la-la land quite frankly

And yes, xfirst, this is clearly just shooting zombies and not intended to be realistic at all.

What planet are you living on?

Agree - they get very physically aroused and very focussed. I believe it's damaging to developing brains

Just tell her you'd rather he didn't play it. Is he a goody goody? DS1(10) is and rather pompously tells people that as he is not 12/15/18 he is not allowed to play 'games of violence' So even if an adult tells DS1 he can play a certain game, he'll reject it (that boy loves shining his halo ). Games have certificates for a reason.

Fucking hell. I might find it just about acceptable for a teenager to be given early access to 18-rated games, but a young child? Bugger off. It's unacceptable and yes I bloody will judge anyone letting a very underage kid play this.

Fabby, how old is your DS?

My ds has this game, he got it for xmas. He's 18 in a fortnight. I saw some of it and it was totally gruesome. Really graphic killing scenes etc. I am not particularly happy about him playing it, no way would I allow a young child to play.

There was a programme on Ch4 not long ago about just this kind of game. They had about 200 14yr old kids (poss. all boys, can't quite remember) playing video games all morning. Half played a footie game, and half played a CoD type game for a couple of hours or so.

All 100 kids were then 'chatted' very generally about nothing in particular. During the conversation, the man they were talking to 'accidentally' knocked his pot of pens off the desk all over the floor. Can't remember the exact percentages, but the vast majority of those who'd played the footie game helped the man pick them up again, and the overwhelming majority of those who'd played the violent game didn't even flinch when they got knocked onto the floor and didn't offer to help. They showed other things that showed these kids had become desensitised to others' pain/discomfort etc. Was very revealing.

I have two DS who love gaming, my 12 yo has had an xbox for 2 yrs, his 9yo just got one for Xmas. My 12yo is only now allowed to play COD but we activate the parental controls which tones down some of the graphic scenes and removes the bad language, I havent noticed anyone else mention that you can do this, maybe its not common knowledge. Our 9yo is not allowed to play this game or any 18 game, he has other games (eg FIFA football game etc) which he loves and is perfectly happy with. We dont get any grief from him, he understands that when he is at Secondary school like his brother the rules will be slightly relaxed. They both play for about an hour when they come in from school to relax, before teatime then homework and family time

I have to add that I dont love the fact that my 12yo plays COD, even with the parental controls on its still about killing, however the fact is that all of his friends play this and he would be missing out hugely if I said no. They are out there in the big world and there are far more "real" dangers in the school playground imo. As an aside, while playing COD he is chatting away to all his friends from school (they play this game on xbox live which is online and allows interaction) Ive noticed his teamleading skills have become amazing as he coaches friends through the various levels, encourages them and organizes them all so they can be successful as a team. Im well aware there are other ways to develop these skills too but I try and see this as at least one positive aspect of gaming.

I saw that Lady.

It was interesting wasn't it?

It confirmed what I thought, Lady, but I had no idea the effect could be so quick. TBH it worries me a lot, seeing the effect gaming has on one of my DSs in particular. It worries me the fact that there must be millions of Dcs out there who have unlimited access to violent games.

Gilly - you seem to be on top of things. I do think it's about monitoring your own children and the effect these games are having on them.

I'm a secondary school teacher - (11-16 currently) and I know for a fact that the kids play CoD. I don't have kids that age yet, but imagine it must be hard to be the bitch of a parent who stands their ground when many others don't. But reality is also that many parents aren't there from 3pm and therefore much of the gaming goes on without parental supervision. Very difficult for all I imagine.

Jamie, thanks, just trying to find a balance that suits us. Couldnt agree more, think monitoring your own kids use and reactions are key. I know quite a few "lazy" parents who allow 8 & 9 yos to play COD for 4 hours a night because "they all do that dont they". Eh...no!

IMO, these games are def not for kids of primary school age, and even for secondary school kids parental controls need to be set and time limits imposed. Its a minefield!

My DH is a teacher, some of his students got COD when it was released. They told him of all night gaming sessions .
OP, YADNBU.

I've been in a similar position and being wussy I said I didn't want DD in the room with the violent games as she's quite sensitive and gets nightmares easily.
I wish I'd been tougher and hadn't said that now as her cousins think it's her problem and that she's weedy.

This will make all of you who do let your under 18's play COD feel a bit better about it.

And OP - YANBU - they are your dc's.

why don't men (usually) get this about these kind of games/movies for younger kids. I try to be really careful with my 2 boys (8 and 5) about games/TV/movies etc but Dh and other male family members just don't see what the problem is. We don't have access to these games in the house but were staying with family over NY where the men would play COD and the new big game no problem in front of them. Husband also had no problems with letting them see Transporter when they were even younger when my back was turned - seems I';m banging my head against a brick wall, especially when Ds comes in from school saying his friend has just watched The Dark Knight and they were only 6 at the time.

begon I would give your DH and other male family members a swift slap IIWY! If you don't want your children exposed to unsuitable material then the rest of your family should respect that!

And TBH I don't think it's necessarily men who are the culprits in letting children see this kind of thing - my DH is probably more strict about what our children can see or do than I am.