Really? Lots of you really agree that life should fit around a job? From an employer's perspective, well why not.. but I've walked this path and found it an unrewarding, stressful existence.
Moondog, you know I think you're brilliant in many ways but I can't agree that work should rightfully be a primary focus of life. I think some people may choose for it to be so and that's quite okay, but as a should?
Work is tremendously important to me, but I have barely returned at all after maternity leave. 2 and a half days term-time only. I am fortunate that, really, it makes very little difference to my employer that I have chosen these hours (I didn't even have to make a formal request for flexible working). My previous contract comprised of five different roles, so I have simply discarded of two of these which have been taken up by another person. I am busily depositing eggs in baskets, undertaking some private work, completing a postgrad and having some time in the week to devote to additional training. I don't intend this to be a "forever" arrangement, but we are far from home and the term time option affords me the opportunity to spend more time in my home country with my family, enabling my ds to spend time with his grandparents while they are still young and vibrant. I am also aware that I am likely to want to pregnant again soon, so I have one foot on the platform and another on the train. In this context, and in my working world, I have weighed up many factors to find a balance that is, at this time, right for me.
However, I think it's quite negative to believe that work can and should come first.. it feeds all sorts of stereotypes that disadvantage men, women and children in the pursuit of family life. I am extraordinarily lucky that both dh and I work with progressive employers (public and private sector) to have arranged flexible childcare cover - if ds is sick, dh can take time and make it back as I can't take time off during term times, yet my reduced working hours enable me to be available to an extent I am happy with (for now). It is a possibility when creative solutions are accepted by employers of men and women. If you commit to your work, your work should commit to you.
Perhaps the OP may be looking for utopia in an effort to convince herself that work is an impossibility, but there can and should be room for all sorts of flexible arrangements that do not necessarily disadvantage employers etc. Yes, there may be jobs where it is unfeasible, but that in itself does not suggest to me that work is in and of itself rightfully more important than having desires and wants in relation to your family life. These thoughts guided my career choices, as I am sure they do others. There's room for all sorts of choices in life on both employment and family fronts, no?