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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have never owned a baby monitor nor a thermometer?

78 replies

TheLogLadyMBE · 04/01/2011 17:04

monitor - don't get it. either a baby is close enough for you to hear or you'd rather not hear at all.

thermometer - if a baby/child has a temperature it's fairly obvious.

AIBU?

OP posts:
TheSingingNun · 05/01/2011 08:23

I never used either. I can see the need for a monitor in a large house etc, but a thermometer can't stop or treat a febrile convulsion, and it's generally pretty obvious when a child's temperature is up, which is when I would give paracetamol/take other steps to bring it down etc. I can see they are reassuring to some people, but I do not accept that they are necessary for most children.

Bumperlicious · 05/01/2011 08:23

Ah, competitive 'relaxed' parenting, only to be found on mumsnet.

IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern · 05/01/2011 08:32

I had a monitor for dd that broke before I would have needed it for ds1 and never replaced it, I do hover over them in the shops for ds2 even though I am in a bungalow now. WIth ds1 the room was right above my head if I was in the living room but ds2 is actually harder to hear in a bungalow but so far resisted as dh or I haven't failed to hear him before he gets to full scream yet.

I do own 2 thermometers but never ever use them.
I was told by a dr when I took dd to see him as a toddler that she had a temp amongst her symptoms but I didn't know what it was and thought he would probably tell me off.
He said that a temperature is a temperature whatever it is and it is how the child responds to meds to bring it down and how they appear in themselves with the temp.

I can generally tell when the dc's have a temp and so far have never felt the need to get the thermometers out.

Rockbird · 05/01/2011 08:35

Well whoop de do for all you crazy living on the edge parents. Medals in the post.

I do not accept that they are necessary for most children
not much arrogance there then...

TheSingingNun · 05/01/2011 08:40

What's arrogant about that? Confused

I am not a competitively relaxed parent either. My children weren't left to play in shark-infested waters or anything. I am vigilant over some things, but think there is limited usefulness for certain equipment. I'm sure that most people would agree that babyhood is a time when you are encouraged to buy stuff left right and centre. It is not always necessary- that is all.

sarah293 · 05/01/2011 08:44

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mousesma · 05/01/2011 08:44

You are entitled to buy or not buy whatever equipment you feel is appropriate.

You are not entitled to sneer at others who don't share your view on what is appropriate.

Giddyup · 05/01/2011 08:45

If I did't have a monitor it would be poor DS who would have to get out of bed and come downstairs to tell us if DD had woken up. I didn't bother with one for DS as we lived in a tiny flat. This time I got the most lo-tech one I could find and took the piss out of all the over the top ones, 8 weeks in I can see the benefit of the video ones! I never know if she is really asleep, she will lay silently for ages until I think she has nodded off without complaint. an hour later I take some washing into her room and she is just laying there lookin around- the tiny odd ball!

TheSingingNun · 05/01/2011 08:46

Of course, sneering is unpleasant. If I ever do that, please do pull me up on it. Interesting, Riven.

WinkyWinkola · 05/01/2011 08:48

Each to their own surely.

I like having a thermometer so I can actually see when their very high temperatures have subsided. To my inexpert hand, hot is hot and I find it hard to tell whether 41 degrees has gone down to 39 degrees and if I need to take more action.

I don't believe I am a less adequate parent because of that. Perhaps because of other things but not that. Grin

gingercat12 · 05/01/2011 08:52

We never had a baby monitor, but house is small and babay was always with me (in bouncy chair, play gym, etc.).

We have thermometers, but why I cannot see. When toddler has fever, he is lifeless and cuddles you all the time + feels hot. When he does not have a fever, he continuously bounces on bed, armchair and demands to go to softplay / playground. There is no middle ground. This was the pattern throughout Christmas.

So YANBU.

WinterChillita · 05/01/2011 08:53

We have a monitor that flashes with movement. I make no apologies for using it (til DD was 11 mths) and now with DS, my parents had 2 cot deaths and if the worst were to happen with any of mine I'd like the chance to try CPR or somesuch. We also have a thermometer. Got one about a year ago when DD went through 3 months of sky-high fevers and we were desperate to know if anything we were doing at 2am was getting her temp down.
giddyup I'm very Envy of your little girl!

mousesma · 05/01/2011 08:58

To sneer - to speak or write in a manner expressive of derision or scorn

I think your initial post derided those who purchased baby monitors and thermometers. I am therfore pulling you up on it.

Any time.

onmyfeet · 05/01/2011 09:00

Yabu not to have a thermometer

sarah293 · 05/01/2011 09:00

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Rockbird · 05/01/2011 09:08

mousesma said it very neatly. What's right for you isn't necessarily right for someone else so 'not accepting' is taking a bit too much upon yourself.

TheSingingNun · 05/01/2011 09:11

Really? Derided? Nope, sorry, I don't see that at all. I just gave my opinion as the OP asked. I didn't sneer at anybody.

ragged · 05/01/2011 09:12

A hospital needs to know precise temp to administer precisely targetted treatment, I can't deliver that at home even if I wanted to.

I can't see that anyone was sneering or competing, just a place to affirm the choices of those of us who bucked the pressure. I would have bought an ear thermometer if they weren't so damn expensive (ditto balance bike and other things). So I dithered and dithered & found that I could get along fine without, anyway {Shrug}. NHS Direct don't seem bothered about it, either. {Double shrug}

Will bow out of the thread now.

sarah293 · 05/01/2011 09:14

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BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree · 05/01/2011 09:15

"Thermometers are important though, even if for the reason of not wasting the doctors time, "

that depends if you have a strange child like my DS1. Who had frequent (quite bad) chest infections when he was younger. He never had a temperature with them. Drs (if it was one we hadn't seen much before) would check and say

"temp fine".

Then listen to his chest (on my isistance)......and go - but yes he does have a nasty chest infection. 'tis most odd and have considered whether DS1 is actually a reptile with a cold body temp Xmas Grin.

As for the OP. Well I did once buy one of those ear ones - but I couldn't get it to work Xmas Blush so gave up.

Monitors - I've needed them in some houses and not in others.

Sirzy · 05/01/2011 09:20

I wasn't going to bother with a monitor for ds until he was really ill at 8 weeks and the hospital suggested and angelcare one - best buy ever as I have actually slept in the last 12 months!

I have a thermometer but it's rubbish, must remember to buy a new one!

Sirzy · 05/01/2011 09:21

Pp that's like my son. He has severe bronchi and even when he was on cpap his temp never once went up - strange child!

sarah293 · 05/01/2011 09:23

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Pinkjenny · 05/01/2011 09:26

I own both, but rarely use the ear thermometer. When dd was about 7mo, I rang NHS Direct and gave them a full rundown of her temp changes, every five minutes from the previous hour, e.g. then it was x, then it was x, etc etc. The dr on the end of the phone said to me, 'OK, Mrs Pinkjenny, first of all, step away from the thermometer.'

Grin
lucky1979 · 05/01/2011 09:38

Riven, do you want my video monitor? I was going to take it to the charity shop but would be as easy to pop in the post. It's not the best in the world and it's only a black and white one, but the signal does go through walls.