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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate the expression 'mummy friends'

52 replies

meantosay · 03/01/2011 21:09

I have old friends who now have kids so they are mummies, I have friends that I met at the school gates who I got on with and ended up having a good laugh with and they are now friends and I have friends at work that I get on brilliantly with and meet up with socially and some of them have children. But I don't have 'mummy' friends and find the expression a bit twee.

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 03/01/2011 22:24

Just mates?

SarfEasticated · 03/01/2011 22:29

I use the term for people I have met through having a baby, we meet up for our children's sake rather than for own IYSWIM. We only have our children in common and wouldn't really meet up otherwise.
If I'm describing people who would be friends no matter what I call them friends.

figcake · 03/01/2011 22:32

I was referred to as a "mumfriend" in a local net review (yes, it was softplay related and yes, we were on a "playdate" Wink with a postnatal friend). I spent a long time wondering if she was really talking about me (unfortunately, could not have been anyone else) - I found it mildly offensive as I considered myself to have a lot more in common with her than our children (who barely got on). I never had another "playdate" with her.

D0G · 03/01/2011 22:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EthelredOnAGoodDay · 03/01/2011 22:40

Doesn't saying 'mates with kids', 'friends from antenatal/playgroup/soft play etc etc' do the job adequately? I think it is the mummy bit that i object to; i think it's a bit close to yummy mummy...

Bumperlicious · 03/01/2011 22:44

'Mummy friends generally like soft play and see it as a place to socialise. Yuck'

Yes yes because we all love soft play. It's not just somewhere we go grateful that we can sit down while our toddlers entertain themselves.

And how is mummy friends worse than mum mates? I don't particularly like the word mate.

EthelredOnAGoodDay · 03/01/2011 23:02

I wouldn't use the word mates, it was just an example of possible alternative options! :o Each to their own, i just find mummy friends/yummy mummies/hubby etc a bit cringey.

CURLYMAMMA · 03/01/2011 23:08

I definitely differentiate between regular pals and mum pals I only have through the children. Much as I like them, we are only friends because of the children.

Cannot stand the term hubby.

swanandduck · 04/01/2011 10:00

I hate that expression. It sounds so smug and complacent and 'look how grown up I am. I have 'mummy' friends'.

It also reminds me of couples who call each other 'mummy' and 'daddy' as if they had no identity before that.

MorticiaAddams · 04/01/2011 11:10

Ewww, I have never heard that expression before and feel quite sick. Is it a new thing?

Pugsley and Wednesday are a bit older but reading on the forums, terminology seems to have changed so much since they were pre-schoolers. People talk about playdates now - wtf is wrong with just going round to play/visit/see so and so?

bibbitybobbitysantahat · 04/01/2011 11:16

I call them my mum friends (mum not mummy) because, tbh, we are mainly friends due to NCT or our children being friends at school, rather than having anything particularly in common. Similarly, I have one or two mumsnet mates. My old friends are my real mates.

Preggers is the word that makes me want to smash things up. Oh, and baby-wearing.

orangepoo · 04/01/2011 11:17

I cannot stand the expression "mummy friends" because it implies that the person is only friends with you for the sake of the children. I think "mummy friends/mum friends" almost refers to a 2nd tier of less valuable friends so it is awful. Either someone is your friend or they aren't.

NinkyNonker · 04/01/2011 11:19

YANBU. I just have friends.

upahill · 04/01/2011 11:30

I've never heard of this expression before and I've managed 2 describe different groups of friends adequately without it! It makes people sound a bit up their own areses,the sort that talk 2 their children in a children in a children's tv presenter voice and refer 2 themselves in the 3rd party!

upahill · 04/01/2011 11:34

Sigh......still getting used 2 new phone. Posts don't always read right!

Amileaminute · 11/04/2011 17:26

Glad to hear that other mumsnetters cringe at some of the language. Playdate is particularly twee. Sounds like something off an American soap

HotCrossJins · 11/04/2011 17:34

I hate the word mummy when used by adults about adults full stop!

If someone calls themself a mummy then I'm afraid I assume that I won't have anything in common with them and move on. I'm more than happy for the term mummy friends to stay in common usage as it helps me identify people I probably won't get on with very quickly :)

usualsuspect · 11/04/2011 17:36

Whats with all the thread bumping today?

HotCrossJins · 11/04/2011 17:38

oooh missed that it was an old thread.

strandedbear · 11/04/2011 17:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Insomnia11 · 11/04/2011 17:42

I have said "mum friends" but not "mummy friends" to describe friends from DD1's school and NCT friends to my old friends. Even though one of my old friends is also a mum. I definitely do have different levels of friendship with people - some are just acquiantances and others are good friends or on the way to becoming friends. Probably the ones that I really get on with I would just call "friends" and not say "mum friends". Other people I would probably not have anything to do with if it weren't for our kids getting on or being in the same class. Also see 'colleagues'.

If that's the normal expression where you live I really don't see the problem.

HotCrossJins · 11/04/2011 17:43

:)

MikeRotch · 11/04/2011 17:45

MUMMYBLOGGERS

cghuffing nora

Insomnia11 · 11/04/2011 18:22

How about "mumpreneurs"?

CristinaTheAstonishing · 11/04/2011 18:33

Mummy friends are those people you only meet during the week but don't give them your weekends, as those are for real friends. Kind of sad, really.

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