to not want to visit PIL anymore because their house is absolutely disgusting

[BarbieLovesKen]

I probably am. Im generally a huge advocate of the "you visit someone to see them, not their house".

I generally dont see mess in people's homes but the absolute filth of PIL's house is really beginning to drive me insane - to a point that, despite enjoying their company I dont really want to visit anymore. I like bringing dc over to see their grandparents and feel like its a really ridiculous/ sad reason to want to limit our trips.

Please dont get me wrong, our house is like a bomb site most days. 90% of the time its covered in mess - toys and clothes everywhere. Its quite untidy in general really but its clean. Counters and floors and toilets and the likes are cleaned and washed daily etc. Sheets are changed regulary. The usual.

Pil's house is disgusting. DH has often commented on it and their own personal hygiene saying he hopes that one day they will start to take a small bit of pride in it/ themselves.

They both smell - in particular DH's dad, whos a very large man who sweats alot. He stinks of arse mixed with BO most of the time and does not change his clothes. The couch in their house smells of him basically. When I go to the loo in theirs, I have to hold my breath before entering, do my business as quick as possible (wouldnt dare to actually sit on the seat) flush toilet with tissue covering my hand as not to touch handle and run out before I loose consciousness. Its brown its so discoloured and 9/10 times will have a lovely large floater left in it.

The hall stinks of sweat and BO and dirty sheets from upstairs. I dont think the windows are ever opened and I know the sheets are changed once every couple of months as their was a joke over this and visitors coming over before.

I have to change DC's clothes when they come home as if DS manages to get on the floor he is covered in dirt from head to toe (crawling). I have to keep wiping their hands with baby wipes during visits. They just feel dirty after visiting. I never, ever eat there and we turn down dinner invitations because of this.

These arent 90 year old frail grand parents by the way, they are 46 and 49.

Oh I probably am. I just really hate going there now. Theres nothing that can be done, is there?

Well, on the plus side, MrQ and Barbie's husband are an inspiration- the leopard can change his (extremely grubby) shorts.

However, downside is I have no ideas on how anyone is going to change the parents and parents-in-law on this thread!

Icky icky icky... I am amazed anyone can live like this. I would not let my DS in a house like this in a million years, however, they are your DC's GPs and therefore smelly or not would still need to see your DCs, they'll have to come to you.

I know it makes it more expensive, but could you stay in a B&B nearby when you visit? (you could tell them you don't want to put them to the trouble of having guests, or that you need more space or something). My sister has the same problem with her PIL and that is what she and her DH do.

Also, can you try to get the PIL to do stuff outside of the house? My sister and her DH always take them out to eat when they visit there. Again, I know it's expensive, but it might make it more bearable.