How do I stop MIL (and when will I need to?)

[Unrulysanta]

Sorry MILs everywhere. I know lots of you are lovely but mine's a PITA :(

dd is 7mo. MIL disapproves of dh and I as parents because of our bfing on demand I think, she's always telling us to put dd down, let her cry etc. She's also been a pain over lots of things this year some of which I've posted about in the past.

Her new line - repeated at least three times over Christmas - is 'your mummy will have a new baby soon. Then you'll get left to one side and you'll come to granny'.

I am not pregnant but we will be ttc this year with a bit of luck. I am realistic enough to recognise that pfbs do get less attention, or a different kind of attention, once there are siblings. But I think this is a very cruel thing to say to a child and I know that she'll keep on saying it.

At 7mo I'm not going to rise to it. But can people with older children help me with when will dd be able to get
this? And how can I tell her to stop when she does this kind of thing deliberately to wind us up?

My MIL and FIL used to put my DH down all the time, subtly and quietly and with a lot of laughing 'oh ho ho, it's so funny, our only son is an idiot' etc. He's not an idiot. He's never been any more of an idiot than anyone is from time to time. He's a nice, kind, charming, intelligent, thoughtful, caring man. He's one of those men you hope to god your daughter would fall in love with when she's old enough because you absolutely know he would look after her and be caring and respectful and decent and good.

When DD was really small (maybe three or four months), I just cracked one day and said really seriously 'you'll have to stop doing that soon, won't you?'

Obviously there were cries of 'doing what? what do you mean?' etc.

I just said 'If I was a little girl and heard someone telling me my daddy was an idiot, it would really upset me. Would it have upset you when you were little?'

Nothing more was said (at least in my hearing, which is all I can really control).

Cupcakebakerer yes he is totally 100% with us :) he's brilliant. I hate that she makes things difficult because he has to deal with it and it's not fair on him - he works really hard and could do with a break.

Horton good for you! She's more the sort who would wait until he was talking to one of our friends who is a very tall beautiful woman and go up to him and rub his head saying 'you're getting really bald'.

I agree with everyone who says nip it in the bud

Now!

Good luck

Bullies like her need to be told clearly that that kind of behaviour will not be tolerated.

And I am open-mouthed at her attitude to your wonderful bf on demand!